I dreamt I was sleeping in a field being licked on my back by a moose.

 I dreamt I was sleeping in a field being licked on my back by a moose. I woke to Olive who didn't bother waking me up before slathering my back with lotion. I was too sleepy to make the requisite massage sounds so she hilariously made all the noises for me. It was funny that she said "Relax." just before applying her freezing cold, lotion covered hands on my buns. It wasn't the waking I expected but it still felt great to be kneaded.

Wow social network MeWe just got hit with a tsunami of ignorant.

I had mentioned how the "clean" comedy pages are free of sexual innuendo,/swear words but ironically promote highly toxic themes from body shaming to sexism, racism and generally horrible ideas that love punching down. In clean comedy world women are either sluts or prudes, motivated by money and impossible to communicate with, men are stupid, easily manipulated by sex, do all the work, can't satisfy women and can be placated with beer and guns. All the poor are freeloaders, old people can't understand technology and black lives do not matter. Clean comedy world is a human nightmare (with occasional amazing cat memes). The most common theme is cruelty.

Somehow this mess recently took a massive nosedive. I go for the humor but now it's not funny, it's murderous. This must be where all the anti-patriots went after they rightfully got de-platformed. Mewe is now a flea market of ignorant theories and permission to be uninformed. Of course all this is covered in US flags. What is more patriotic than murdering someone whose pants are sagging right? I think this madness is temporary though. Past generation's bad ideas are folding onto themselves just before they fade into obsolescence. I have a lot of hope for the next generations who don't carry the same arbitrary prejudices, and have much more than default race and gender to be proud of. The kids fully understand science. Big ups to all the older folks who are always happy to grow in understanding with the rest of the world.

When we first got together Olive saw me applying some 1990's eyeliner to my clown drag and quickly said "STOP!

 

When we first got together Olive saw me applying some 1990's eyeliner to my clown drag and quickly said "STOP! After age 40 ditch the eyeliner unless it's Halloween." We were going out to win hearts and minds not compete in a who can be angstyer contest.

She created my face paint to be the opposite. Green eyeshadow for the magical land of the living look. I had to ditch my studded leather jacket too. It was sad to lose my historic jacket but well worth it seeing the homeless woman in her 60's wearing it around. She won the jacket lottery that day.

Last night we went and paid our silent respects

 Last night we went and paid our silent respects to a tragedy that had just happened in our neighborhood. Someone deliberately plowed into cars, pedestrians, cyclists for many blocks. 1 person passed away, several others hospitalized and many more were injured but not critically.

It could have been us. We are in that spot a lot. Olive and I met at Lauralhurst park. Our hearts go out to the victims and we are so proud of our fellow citizens who communicated to each other, yelling ahead so others could form a tribe and catch the perpetrator.

I'm glad I wasn't one of them. Seeing my Portland people injured makes me see red. I don't know I would have the restraint those brave souls had. Big ups to them!

Olive took me to an AA meeting.

 Olive took me to an AA meeting. It was AAkward. I was shocked she had those contacts. It was a big plus that this wasn't negative. Still I ran out. The location was too remote.

Shitler is gone today.

 He was a tragic lesson for the ages. If you lie constantly, eventually lots of people will believe you. Even if you kill hundreds of thousands of them the disinformation is welcomed as long as it's laced with racism and conspiracy theories.

Trim below the belt.

 Trim below the belt. Sometimes I'm the right amount of bored and notice my weed trimming scissors. Olive isn't a fan of my craftsmanship. Long ago she put herself in charge of all body hair and nail trimming in our house.

She has finesse and style but to my discredit, I can do in one second what takes her at least 20 min. When i take matters into my own hands she finds out within hours rather than days. Instead of saying "Good job." she says "Why did you do that?" I'm sorry she likes the Moe or Curly look. I was always a fan of Larry.

Once upon a The 90's I was hitch hiking in The Texas

  A big burly Sheriff's deputy pulled up and asked me what I was doing in his county. I told him I was traveling to the other side of the country to get married. That worked. He ran my ID and said he just needed my out of his county because hitch hiking is forbidden. He had me sit in the passenger's seat to take me to the county-line. As we rolled we talked a bit. I thought he was a total douche but that said I also clued in on his humor and a bit of compassion around my romance story.

I always got a kick out of very Hispanic looking good old boys with thick county accents. We started enjoying the ride, gassing and talking about bad drivers when the radio lit up. Back then I wasn't fluid in cop speak but it was clear something was up. "Put your seat belt on. I don't have time to drop you off. we gotta do this." I thought "We?"

Soon as my belt clicked he hit the siren and floored the squad car. We tore across the median kicking up roostertails of dust to meet the road moving the other direction. "You ok?" he asked. I told him it was fun. He was serious but still chuckled a little "Yeah this is purdy fun."

We got behind another cop car in high speed chase mode. I was hanging on tight and smiling like it was a carnival ride. I didn't hear or see bullets flying but whomever they were chasing started shooting. That's when he quickly pulled over and threw me out.

"It's too dangerous now Buba, gotta let ya off here. good luck." He pulled $5 from his visor and threw it to me. before screeching off.

Then it was quiet again...and I was still in Texas. Luckily I wasn't going anywhere in particular or he would have set me back a few dozen miles. That was a cool little moment in my life that doesn't connect with anything else I did. It was so vivid though that I will never forget it.

The days after orcs stormed the Capitol.

 The days after orcs stormed the Capitol. It's fascinating seeing all the various states and corporations claiming people seen on tape, "Yes that douche is ours." They are getting fired, disowned and arrested. 

I feel sorry for them. They were set up by the Dear Leader to be crash test dummies. 

When I DM RPGs sometimes I have to play whole hordes of orcs. I always play them to be "low info" easily led types who are hammers that see every problem as a nail.  They are usually led by a Necromancer or Wizard who tells them they are superior, riles them up and charges them blindly and alone into battle. Watching the news reminded me of those scenarios. If i ever need orcish talking points I need look no father than Fox opinion programming. Maybe the orcs will be blaming their route on antifa.

.It wasn't a surprise to see politicians who are complicit decrying the events of the orcish invasion.

It was interesting to see the triple trainwreck collision between Covid 19, anti mask rhetoric and ubiquitous widespread photography. Trump didn't just set them up for a clumsy coup, he put their faces in front of the firing squad

I ironically love the "clean comedy" groups

 I ironically love the "clean comedy" groups. There are no "bad" words or sexual references but it is full of child abuse, fat shaming, homophobic muppets, portraying men as idiots, women as only interested in money or nagging, old folks are all technologically idiots, kids are all into eating tidepods and protesters are just angry for the sake of anger.

But there are no bad words. Hahaha!

The only thing that gets them more angry than "bad words" is disparaging dear leader trump. The clean comedy universe is mostly gallows-humor about a human nightmare.

I ironically love the "clean comedy" groups for what they expose more than what they contain.

The president reminds me of my false thumb.

I use it to hide flags, toys, anything small that I may need for prestidigitation. If you know I have it on, it sticks out like a fake thumb. If you don't know it's there it's totally invisible.

I found out one day when I went to a joke shop and the only replacement thumbs they had were for much darker complected people. My black thumb still worked perfectly. I wasn't surprised, I once cashed a check using a Magic the Gathering card as my I.D.

The biggest question I hear all over town is "Why would anyone believe Trump?" The biggest question from international guests we met was "Why doesn't everyone rise up against Trump?" I have no answer they don't already know.

This is a punch-down society and Trump is the Prophet of punch-down. He is never held accountable as long as he bares that standard of intolerance and racism.

We need to learn our peepoes how to spot those fake thumbs and how not to value punching down. Punch-down disease is a really embarrassing trait our country has that I would love to see turn around.

got this note. I posted online and within 30 min. two strangers stepped up and covered this bill.

 "Hey! Soooo, my husband got laid off today, very unexpectedly, and he was our only income. Is it too late to cancel this order? I can pay for whatever olive has made if she started, but finances have gotten really tight suddenly" 

I wrote...

Anyone know anyone who is in a place to cover this young couples 5 covers? $50. She got her guy 5 and then ordered 5 for herself. Olive is already well into making them so I thought I would throw it out to all them dogooders out there. Only if ya can.

Then really quickly Annie and Andy two people who don't know the couple or each other each donated half the bill. It was neat.

peepoes

Community service is huge with us. We are always trying to find ways to plug in and help our peepoes. I was thinking of starting an event called "The Fireworks display benefiting Pets and Vets." We can use our clown charms to fund-raise enough money to buy lots of fireworks for this event. Then after 10pm on the 4th of July pets and vets and everyone else who doesn't want to hear that shmit are invited to tune in and watch us dump the whole lot into the Willamette river. HAHAHA! Every time I hear loud fireworks late at night I feel so bad for the pets, vets and others who get really freaked out. I know a lot of them. Hopfully it would be satisfying for them to see us dunk em. We would have to pull them back out right away. My biologist friends tell me the local river ecology is hurting from a whole Summer of pepperspray poisoning. Sounds like there is a lot of community service to plug into.