So as I was trekking across our neighborhood to the burrito stand; a western dressed man happened to be walking ahead of me. A tall cowboy it seemed.
It was just a coincidence that I was following the same path he was.
To me...it was just two shlubs, shlubbing our way through our shlub-uary day, no big deal.
But to him...
he was being followed by a clown.
It didn't sit well.
He kept looking back until I tracked his 3rd turn or so.
As we rounded the corner together he bolted into traffic like a loony attack scarecrow. Three cars stopped and I saw him yelling unkind things at me over the sound of the cars honking. He stormed away swearing. Good on him if that Palooka had a gun and didn't use it.
Sorry fella, just need mah carne asado Yo.
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People have been asking me a lot, "Does the clown scare have a negative effect on your clown business?"
Short answer: No. I'm not a creepy clown so I'm not competing with them.
Long answer:
I'm a whole 'nuther thing and we are at the top of our game and we strive to keep making friends. The scary thing about a lot of clowns is the mask. We don't wear masks, just enough clownface for folks to know we are on duty.
Portland is a place where a clown can be for kids and adults without freaking anyone out.
A clown can sing loony tunes for kids in the morning and then be half naked doing burlesque for the parents that night. How do I know? I been doing it in Puddletown for 19 years.
I started off kind of menacing but that's understandable.
My first clown show in the Pacific Northwest was for tree-sitters and riot cops at a protest in 1990's Eugene Oregon. I used to come home covered in pepper-spray and pocket-fulls of rubber bullets. Nowadays I'm a lot more "approachable."
These days we only get a couple people per year running away afraid but thousands of people a year coming to our shows.
I am afraid of some clowns. The creepiest clowns to me are crappy clowns.
People who think they can put on clown drag and suddenly be a clown.
I'm afraid of them like a fisherman is afraid of a trumpet player.
Sometimes they show up raggedy looking, stinky, makeup scrawled on like a child did it or showing up in "clown" from the waist up but sweats, no underwear and sneakers below. YUK! Sometimes we hire a clown who shows up drunk that's always terrifying, the bigger the gig the more terrifying it is.
How about one with an anger problem, no clue what to do or one who doesn't like money or crowds. Ever seen a stage frightened clown? I have. I sang a little song as that ship sank.
Those realities are what my nightmares are made of.
I see why folks want to be on board.
Being a modern clown comes with some amazing perks.
Free food, lots of romance/indecent proposals, money, adoration, gifts,random old people hugs, free bus rides, hand-me-down clothing from drag queens and kids actually run to you in dangerous situations instead of running away on sight.
Truth is, it's easy to be a clown nobody likes but very hard to be likable enough to make a living year round. A good Portland clown actually gets tipped by a stripper (for a balloon flower) instead of the other way around.
People love to buy the clown a beer. That was a problem for many years as I worked in many nightclubs doing circus sideshow. I got to enjoy a long drinking problem and fantastic downward spiral. I actually used to be the kind of clown I'm afraid to work with.
I've been sober a long tome now and have been getting nothing but net in the clown field ever since.
If anything, creepy clown movies give folks an opportunity to mention how not creepy we are. They are helping us.
Lots of folks talk about clown fear but you rarely (if ever) hear about people who are turned on by clowns... unless you are a clown lol.
I easily see a lot more people delighted to see us than repulsed (nannr nannr boo boo).
So while I am actually afraid of poser clowns I have seen no effect in our business from scary clown movies or kids in fields wearing masks.
