"Entropy...I'm not half the stain I used to be."

 Bad news. My favorite Portland landmark is going away. It's an Ice Cream spill that used to be a full spilled Ice Cream Sunday that has been residing in a Mexican themed restaurant since I first noticed it circa 2017. It's extraordinary because the place doesn't sell ice cream. The staff is plentiful and they run a tight ship. It's a literal snowball in hell. And that ius why I love it. Underdog! :) 

The gambling machines must be a blind spot for the very religious staff because gambling es el diablo. Anyhoo. We just visited and noticed it has lost most of it's luster. I couldn't bring myself to photograph it. I wanna remember "Spilly" the way it was in this pic from months ago. Even if it fades away I will always remember how long it avoided the wipe rag. It's dying of natural causes. HANG IN THERE SPILLY!

Huzzah!

Mole looks like a dirty diaper but boy is it scrumptious. We just went to the Mercado in FoPo after our show for dinner. 
I had the $8 mole bowl and Olive had the $5 mole tamale plate. It is so filling! 

We weren't planning on eating originally. 
This is our leanest month. It's OK not complaining, we are really good at simple living and we have other things to stay satisfied by. We own a very sexy form of "poor and famous. "

The plan was to just drink morning dew water from leaves and suck on old shoes for nutrition until the busy season arrives just like we do every year. 
Then a funny thing happened.
 Y'know how sometimes you are out in the rain and just when you think lightning is about to strike $1300 bucks falls out of the sky? Yeah that happened to us. 

We were cleaning our old crib and rediscovered an old hiding place. It had hundreds of bucks in it. 
We were cracking up (literally r.o.t.f.l.m.a.o.). 

Hard to believe it was there many times when we really needed it. 
The hiding place did it's job like a charm. 
One of the advantages of living in a high crime zone is we got good at hiding valuables...like good as squirrels. Glad we found all those nuts. 
Now we can go eat, buy more paint and have some more cash to put down on our damage deposit for the new place. 
Huzzah!

night club gigs. Last week we did two night shows. Songs, skits and a our famous booby painting.

we did a lovely "adult storytime" shows at Ash Street Saloon and Dante's. 

Big thanks to Feral Drollery and the Bugbees for inviting us to the two gigs.

 Also big thanks to Olive's Dad who met us at the door helping us load in. We were late because I got carded at the door (we had to go back home to find my ID.)

I was a bit apprehensive playing a gig at a place known for surely metalheads. Our happy loony tunes don't exactly mix in with the other acts but we are a functioning punk band. Our songs are pretty heavy for our genera. 

All the songs we played are the exact same songs we play for the kids. 

It could have gone bad but we just owned it and sold it like it's what they came for. I knew we had them during the clapping part of the pig song, everyone (spiked leather, skulls, death metal logos) they were all clapping. YES!!! 

We soon felt very welcome and then sad when we came to understand that this iconic Portland venue is closing.Just like Satiricon, we will be one of the last acts of the venue.

 eating a lightbulb while singing a song. 

 The booby painting: Our date "Indie" was amazing and brave for letting us have some fun with her chesticles during the act. It's our goal to be sexy without being sexist, and to put on a good show of course.
To keep up the mystery, made it look like we didn't know her beforehand. 
Folks were very wide eyed. 
Indie is an empowered woman and a delight to hang out with. We had just met her a few hours prior and we liked her a lot.
I hear we facilitated an autistic man with seeing the first boobs he had ever seen. He is a man in his 30's who stood transfixed on that part of the act. I found out his story because his Mom was there too.
She said they were laughing their heads off watching him watch us.
As Indie's boobs would jiggle so would the man's head in unison.
Outside the Mom said "That was so classy how you guys did that, thank you. He needed that." She said she asked him if he liked the show and he told her. "She has no shirt." Mom said "Yes that's her breast and she is lending it to Olive and Dingo to have some fun, it's not a bad thing." 

At Dante's we painted a lovely lady's chest and made a print of it. The crowd dug it.

 Then two woman in the front row (visiting from a far off country called Bend Oregon) decided they wanted to buy the print to take home as a souvenir. 

Olive decided that their money wouldn't be so good a trade so she  talked them both out of their brichez. 

She would trade her booby painting for a print of one of their bootys. The other lady said "Ooh do me too!"

Olive took them downstairs to the greenroom and painted both their butts then had them make a print. She got a souvenir for herself. Olive walked out of the venue with her painting in hand and head held high. lol So now we have some new art.

 I'm delighted to live in a city that has more than tolerated me performing both kids shows and adult shows (not to mention political activism) for 19 years now. It's often encouraged and never been a problem. We are all about decriminalizing the body and natural body functions. It's very primitive thinking to me to consider any body part "dirty" that doesn't have an dirt on it. :) I picked a great town to be a clown.

Us on a mural at the 82nd street lightrail station. Part osa wonderful installation by Alex Chiu

painted by the lovely and talented Alex Chiu.

photos sent in by people who noticed it being painted.

I came up with the art for this puzzle. It's a rubber chicken... initializing the big bang.

I can't tell if the intricate design makes the puzzle more or less challenging.

the universe begins with a loud rubber chicken jigsaw puzzle
by chixland


Get the puzzle at the link above, visit our
web page at the link below.
oliveanddingo.com

I just overheard our little boy and his buddy talking about the man who killed himself by running into the fire at Burning man.

That gave me a nice teachable moment.
Pondering why, was cool but none of my beeswax.
If that is how the man wanted to go then good for him, beats expiring someplace dreadful under unpleasant situations.
I would be joining him if "going back home" meant going anywhere in the state of Oklahoma (sorry OK.).

I get it.

Still kind of a dic move though to the other fest goers. Bigtime party foul.
Mostly I wanted the boys to understand and fully appreciate the fire crew.
They weren't intending to run into the fire but didn't hesitate to do what they train for.
What badasses.
I hope they made it out alright, I didn't see much about them in the report I read.

My birthday cake looked like a burrito.

My familia kept asking me what kind of B-day cake I wanted. 
I didn't want anyone to care about my birthday so I just told them to make me a burrito and call it good. So my clown family took me literally. 
Even after they had finished the cake they asked a last time "what kind of cake do you want?" I say "burrito." They just nod and somehow avoided cracking up in my face. 
Glad I didn't ask for a joint instead. It would have been a very special cake but not as sharable.
 It wouldn't go over very well as a kind of cake to share with our local, black-footed, sharpie faced 'partments children. 
That's who ate most of the burrito cake. We all had dinner together in the parking lot

math vs. science

I told my son that he had a choice. We could do math flash cards OR

I could give him a lecture and demonstration (with graphics) of everything that clinically went down when I got a vasectomy plus a follow up and guesstimated mileage so far.

To my surprise the boy insisted on doing the math.

I thought young dudes liked lots of penis drawings. 

Interesting.

Parent fail(on my part) .

Planned Parenthood gave me a huge bag of safe sex kits to hand out to folks. I didn't inspect them too much, I been handing out condoms and such since the 90's.

I thought I would use the opportunity to give my boy a condom lesson. I opened a kit, tossed a packet at him and told him to open it, I opened my condom, demonstrated pinching the tip and unrolling it over my hand.

He was having trouble opening the thing. He seemed to be fumbling, stalling and making it harder than it was, unable to open the packet.

I was mortified imagining him doing the same thing, the same way on his prom night. I griped at him to get it together.

Soon he was perplexed and helpless as goo was dripping down his hands.

I asked for it back and realized what a jackass I was.

I told him to open up a condom but what I handed him was lube. I nenox9ed him.

"Class dismissed!"

Hey there friends. Do ya like what we do? If you are in a place to let go some flow, here is where folks donate to the clowns to keep the rubber side down and the smiling side up. Who knows, maybe we will even inscribe donor's names on our bikes. :)

http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

Exploring around town. It never gets old.

Olive loves her Nutcase helmet.

It always cracks me up when people act like I'm careening out of control. 

How bad can it be if I'm sipping hot coffee and having a conversation? 

Some folks still dive out of the way or freak out like this dude. 

lol I gotta plan for squirrely types. 

When sharing the walkway with pedestrians 

I'm never moving faster than the smell of pie.

http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/

hit with sick

I'm in the Clown Cave here in Portland Oregon.
Last night was a roughish night.
 I came down with an illness that really cramped my style.
When taking the trash out I suddenly caught a mean chill.
It's a warm night so my wife got concerned.
 I ran in the pad and got under some blankets shivering. 
Was it a mild gall attack? I did eat lots of fattening 4th of July food. Maybe it was food poisoning? I don't know.
My skin felt all pricky.
Luckily my doctor (wife) was on the case. 
 While she was digging around in her healing cabinet  I drink a lot of water, and took a hot shower. Then I got right into bed without bothering to dry off.
She got some lavender oil diffusing and brought out other essential oils. 
Olive gave my aching body a full, no holds barred massage from keel to stern.
It took a very long time and I groaned loudly the whole time.
She giggled and giggled at the sounds she was getting out of me.
This gal played me like an instrument.
Part sensual massage, part getting thrown down a flight of steps, I made some sounds I didn't know I make.
It was surreal, I was shivering under wet blankets while my lady was rocking a bikini. She looks very different when not in clown drag. 
I was so lucky to have her sharing her skills on me. In fact I was bummed that I was too sick to fully appreciate the scene (like I normally do). I'm a lucky clown.
I passed out into a fever dream.
In my dream I dug up a book from a barren landscape. Upon opening it there was only one page and one sentence.
"Color and time are illusions"

This morning I woke in a pool of sweat and slowly summoned the energy to rise.
Some sunshine should get my body running. 
I was still feeling sick but we had a show to do in an hour.
They were expecting happy go lucky Dingo D to make with the merriment and jokes.
When I opened the front door for some sun but the sky was overcast...doh!
It's easy to get dressed since all my clothes are clown clothes. Can't miss. Painting my face is equally easy to do on auto-pilot.
After "stand-cuddling" a bit with Olive (while she did her make up) it was time to load the bikes. 
Every day we carry a lot of gear all over town doing busking shows. Our bikes are heavy with books, sound stuff and props.

Often we put 19-25 miles a day on our bikes carrying all that kit.
I'm not bragging or complaining. I'm just saying. 
yuk yuk yuk
My rig "The Behemoth" still had a disco ball on it from another nights ramblings. It was installed by my very thorough friend Nathan Bennet. I didn't want to mess with that so I put a trailer on my bike to carry all our appurtenances. 
We took off.
Now I was 18 feet long, 12 feet high, sick, still waking up and tugging a rock uphill. WooHoo! I should write a song about it and call it "Prometheus rock".
It wasn't fun but I was expecting to have just enough energy for the length of the show.
As soon as we got to Hawthorne street the folks were dialed into us from the gate.

So many folks were photographing us it was ridiculous.
That is sort of troubling. Portland people ignore us, politely smile or cheer at us, these folks clearly had never seen us. That begs the question...where the hell are our Portland people?

When we arrived at the venue there was a good sized show waiting for us. Great people. 
The energy coupled with some prosperous promise made me really forget I was sick. Those shows carry on like that. 
The kids shouldn't suffer a canceled show just because I ate ribs, ice cream, chocolate and candy for days straight.
Our gig was dreamy, we did our thing, ended strong, hugged hugged hugged the friends and fans then went outside. To lots and lots of people taking our picture again. We were nice and even  happy to see them. 
We rolled down Hawthorne and then doubled back up Belmont to a Vietnamese restaurant we like.
 We had made enough dough at the gig for a nice lunch. Just what we needed.
As we rolled up we hear "Freak Bike" we hear that all the time so we nodded but paid it no mind. Then as we landed a couple with a toddler approached us.
"Freak bike! We are friends with Rat Patrol!"
I hear "Rat Patrol" and it gets my attention.
They are a fantastic freak bike club out of Chicago and some of my vewy first email friends back in the day.
They kept mentioning the city they were from and it wasn't Chicago. That's when I noticed the Australian accent.
Rat patrol has an Aussie chapter! Good for them. 
http://rat-patrol.org/RPOz/RatPatrolOz.html

We posed for pictures and said so long to our new friends.
Olive got soup and I got noodles.
 That food was really good going down, just what I needed to feel better.
After that I had just enough energy to pedal my big ass bike home, toss my clown gear and crash. I'm feeling much better now.
Just looked in the fridge...all 4th of July foods! Bah no way!!!I learned my lesson...well, maybe later. :) 
I still have the disco ball set up.
Also a few apartments over we can hear a man making long, anguished groans and yells. I guess what I had is going around, glad that fella has the same kind of doc I have.

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