Interesting read betwixt gigs

Interesting read betwixt giggy poos, 
Check out what vocations Uncle Sam thinks are growing. Right on! 
Three of them are clean energy solutions.

Life is a nature documentary.

Most folks who encounter us treat us with love and kindness, some don't know or care about us and even fewer respond with abuse. It's water off my back. In today's doc we were on our bikes trying to get our car tire fixed. As I waited for Olive to negotiate, a lady (on the left) approached me and started asking about Pedalpalooza.

I wasn't amused that the little bit of money we made today was going to maintenance.
Once a week we use our car "Matilda" to get our kids to the other side of town and back. Last trip we caught a flat. Talking about bike events makes me happy. But unfortunately I didn't get to say anything before this other woman (on the right) walked up saying "I'm sorry, you stink! You usually smell really bad but today you smell worse than ever."


I never seen her in my life so that was odd.
The first lady split quick I suppose thinking something was about to kick off.
I said nothing but internally I was amused. I'm downwind of her and in a strong breeze, no way she smells anything. Bad odor must be her excuse to protest my general existence. I'm a long way away from the days of deliberately smelling bad. It used to be a form of rebellion. Gutterpunk tactics are obsolete these days. Also I'm a gorgeous woman's comfort object, Olive isn't hip to any bad smells on me and when I do sweat it effects her in a way that is too hot for Facebook to describe. I can take criticism but this one isn't even close. :) I just smiled and the lady stood there staring at me waiting for the reaction I would never give up. Then Olive and I went to a nearby cafe. Out the window we see a homebum park his garbage can and sit directly across for a man.

It was an awkward moment for him but entertaining nature doc for us. We waited and watched the nature doc to see how it turned out.

Eventually one of the baristas noticed and asked the man what he was doing "waiting for the cops" he said. But nobody called the cops so they never came. After some more tedious moments the fuzzy fellow got up and took his trashcan away. We didn't get the photo of the smile of relief that the customer had when he got his personal space back.

I'm glad my traffic cam was rolling when this stuff went down. Great nature doc. :)
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Most of the folks who see us on the road either give us cheers or indifference.

Most of the folks who see us on the road either give us cheers or indifference. I like both responses. When a lot of people cheer us on it's a "tell" to me that according to the numbers, some haters are due. 
Some folk have immediate angry reactions to seeing us. They call me names, try to pick fights or shock me into falling over by honking. 
One guy cussed me out real good while stopped at a light. I have no idea what he was saying since the windows were up and I was on the sidewalk. 
This last gem was very telling. I guy saw me and yelled "You stupid Mother F****r, you won't last a week on that bike. Get down before you kill someone!". 

I been riding the Behemoth since somewhere around the time of Hurricane Katrina. I'm proud to report there have zero fatalities. :) 
I fell over the handlebars once when the trailer I was carrying wedged between two poles. 
Another time, I fell off (into rose bushes) because I was laughing at a dog and the only other wreck was more of a bike involved masturbation accident (I will tall ya more if I ever get to know you better) than anything else. 
So no real injuries at all in all these years. Thanks for checking in Angry man.
There is this one man on Hawthorne who tries to attack me every time he sees me. He yells and screams. He rides his long board erratically while calling me names. He tries to get real close to me in my blind spot. Olive was getting pretty steamed at this puke the other day. I just smile. She yells at him to get away, he ignores her. I keep hoping he comes in closer. I leave my backdoor open as a trap. I know a little secret that Olive also knows (maybe why she wants him to shove off so bad). Y'see, if I can let the dude get a few licks on me then it's my turn. I can get off my bike, put it out of the way and smash this clod with great speed and ferocity. The guy seems to think I'm a total teetering candyass. lol I hope he doesn't try to throw down with me because I don't want to upset my wife by crushing this Dingleberry

bikelightcultcrew

Saw J Ari Sindel at a lit up bike ride last night. We made some new friends joining a lit up bike ride. 
We were itching for another big roll even though we have been doing that all day and every day for months. At first we missed the start. 
Then Olive decided "we can find them" so Olive "the ride whisperer" did find them.
 I was so impressed with her scouting prowess. We were all happy to see each other. Everyone is jumping in the river in this shot. As I started reading the scene an unsettling picture emerged in my carny mind. Is this a cult? First off, they didn't know who we were. When I asked people where they were from they said "out of town" (hmmm). Everyone was over the top attractive and seemingly interested in what we had to say. That was odd. Immediately they made three points of contact with us and collected a lot of information from everyone. 

They were nice. I wasn't judging. I'm just a hustler who is always decoding hustles. It's our civic duty to understand what was going on. We had a lovely ride in what Ari was calling "The opioid tour" we happened to go all the places that junkies hung out. That was great proof they were from out of town. Lots of hooting and hollering while us locals were on heightened states of awareness. At the drum circle a man from that crowd got really touchy with Olive. 

She was and still is pretty angry about that. She was so shocked she missed her chance to slug the guy. We moved on down the river holding hands and enjoying our new cult friends. We connected with several of the folks on the ride and liked them. It ended under a bridge with a fun dance party. The ride leader was very charismatic and accommodating.

 As we were leaving I was glad Ari was gonna hang around collecting counter intelligence. Then the ride leader gave me a beer. 

I don't drink but I kept it as a souvenir. That's when Olive relayed her opinion. She liked my conclusions but added her own in a great way. I actually liked her conclusion better than mine. She said College people are (like cults) very organized, charismatic, collect info to perpetuate events, look very attractive and come from out of town. We were rolling with college folks. Ahhhh that's plausible. They mentioned doing the ride again soon. If they call us I will let ya know how to join the cult. 

Loud and Lit 2018

Went on the ride as usual. The unusual part was being joined by our daughter. 

She is 20 and fully esconsed in the Portland Bike culture.

Olive Rootbeer was my date as we joined thousands of Portland people for a lit and loud bike ride through town. 

Then just like that, it was time to go.

My Naked Bike Ride rant. (See ya there)

I was grumpy with the World Naked Bike Ride for a while.

When I first got to P-town mid 90's, the naked ride was on April Fools day and had a very hippy feel.
Then the World Naked Bike Ride hit the scene as a protest and appeal for cyclist awareness; it's a fantastic thing that helps green-light legislation and encourage bike friendly infrastructure while enjoying a naked night on the town. This street theater happening is also cheap and fun.

As time went on, it slowly became less of a protest. Black guy president, we won, lets have fun!
Like the Clown House, the activist flavor gave way to a complacent frat-party feel.
That was disappointing in a age when cows and cars are really taking the planet for a ride; it takes Earth 800,000,000 years to reset after climate collapses.
Another ill point is getting jeered at by folks on the ground who don't know what the inside skinny's all about. I go from having fun to wanting to throttle people. I'm not butt hurt, it's more like having to watch a movie you don't like on your only day off. Annoyingly sad.
They think we need attention.
We just want enough attention to not get hit by a car.

Now I gotta tell ya what I do like about the last W.N.B.R. I attended.
I was with my pal Leapin Louie the cowboy clown.
Both of us riding high and in chaps n cowboy hats.
I love that guy.
It's funny that tallbikes put our butts right at eye level to everyone else.
Hawhawhaw EEEEHa!

I also love the jewel at the end of the crown....
wait for it (drum roll)
!!The sausage party at the end of the ride!! LOL
Lots of cyclists with bitchin' bike bods, where lots of men get to see very attractive woman discover the ride and all strip naked to join... They don't see that every day.
I'm sure it drives em crazy. At the end of the ride all the fellas stick around but the woman vanish like vampires in a cloud of bats.
It's a riot to see all those poor saps looking at each other expecting someone to be female and there never is, it's always a sea of penises all glaring at each other.
I know, it's kind of mean of me but I don't get that many laughs like that. To me it's like watching turtles.

So I'm a kid clown as well as sideshow performer. Have been for 20 years here in Puddletown. Been nude a lot on stage and in the street. For the clowns it's the cheapest act to put on. :)
I have literally got it on with two woman while riding a bike on the very same stage that I would get married on a decade later.
I'm not shy at all. Thing is, I can't be full monty clown anymore. The secret to living in kid and adult entertainment worlds was made clear in the movie Ghost Busters.
Don't cross the streams.
Too much photography ruins the game for us. There is no way for us to keep our entertainment lines from crossing; to control what people do with images of us.

On this W.N.B.R. 2018, we decided to take one for the team, go on the ride and have a great time with our friends.

We hear that a Japanese tv show is hip to interview us at this years ride.
So here we are.
Now that I know we will be interfacing with the media, I gotta get my story straight now.
I have been interviewed before and what came out of my face was the dreadful truth of a behind-the-scenes guy. I regret not crafting a better narrative.
This is a great clown op to tell the original story about what the ride is about.
So what do we wear to participate but not nose dive our daily bread?
Olive's first thought was for us to rock diapers; she volunteered to make us each a diaper.
Then we decided on just some form fitting lycra and lots of body paint.
I want "I care a lot" written on my back in white.
My cargo bike, Behemoth, is great for carrying a passenger.
We are open to taking someone on my bike who maybe can't ride a bike, is injured, or wants to spend hours nude perched on the back of my bike. I'm not gonna be too loud about this option since the ride starts in frikkin b.f.e. (Cathedral park).

I'm no longer grumpy with W.N.B.R. We need as many rides as we can to promote cycling, fitness and bike awarness. And I'm looking forward to seeing all the smiling faces and the sea of vertical smiles too! If you're out there riding, thank you, stay safe and:
See ya there!
~Dingo Dizmal Portland clown

p.s.

One year we just went to photograph all the people photographing nude people.
A lady with what looked like a National Geographic camera yelled to me "Please disrobe mr.clown!" I yelled "Frightfully sorry Madame I have the Diarrhea!' Her colleges got a good laugh at her getting clowned by the clown. She never got a pic of me but I did get a pic of her.

We took pics of lots of people photographic nude riders. We would put our cameras in their faces and take pics of them. This guy taking photos of women was not very happy about Olive invading his privacy with her camera.

Patrolling around with the love of my life.

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MC for the bike fair, col.sumners park portland 3-5 shift 2014 mcbf

Want to see just the pics alone then click one and hit the right arrow button. :)

First off, Skrivner heads up setting up the arch of doom each year.

                              That rig has lots of nuts and bolts, also we were all about fixing up the Sprockette's tent. We were told it was the 10th anniversary of the storied Portland dance troop. Those intrepid dancters launched right under my nose a long time ago as I recall. Good stuff!
We had gone out for batteries and food down the street. On the way back we got caught in a torrent of rain. We got soaked. We were so wet that the sandwich I got a few blocks away at a food cart....was now soup. When we got back to our stage/office we were wet, our stuff waterlogged and the stage looked more like a squat.
Brian sysfail was there to plug in stuff and rock the mic  until our shift started.
 We were on from 3-5

Kicking it with Carl in the rain. We were reminiscing of past MCBFs and hoping the big crowds would turn out. Our stage time started and our task was first hosting the SLOW Race. Last one crossed the line wins, no stopping, no feet down. I quickly noticed an old friend, actually a gang of old friends called The Beligerantes. We always know when they are there by the red shirts and vintage schwinn bikes.

J-Rock of Rebel Alliance bike club brings forth the prize for the slow race...

Bitchin pink money shades!!!!

Cutie patooty starts the race!

It was slow but not un-eventful.

Carl Larson wins, the glasses match his hat!

Now to get blowee upee to let the crowd hanging out in the tents and booths below know it was on and to gather on the grill for the show and tournaments.

I did my imitation of an automobile.

Tall bike ring toss.

Two tall bikers ride in figure 8s around cones. Each has a pile of bike tires and they throw them like horse shoes at the cones while avoiding collisions. In the 3 heats one set of players decided to take all offensive maneuvers with each other. They basically attacked each other each round while scoring tons and tons of points. It was very entertaining. I was compelled to scream my head off and I had a microphone.

We were sent a list of events and times. When the show started, all that went out the window. That was pretty funny.

Camp Sprockettes ,happy campers.

Foot down derby!~!!!

Tall bike joust!!!

pit crew, squires, cheering!

Are you not entertained???

Hey, I know you. We saw lots of friends and fans at the fair. It was great to see them outside of the normal way we meet doing kid shows in cafes. Some of the kids were pretty happy about the notion that balloons pour out of us. 

Meghan!!! So frikkin cute! We love the delight in her pretty face.

                                          Better than TV? YES!

Huddle to determine who won.

Breaking down the arch of doom!

We can re-build it again for the Bike Fair aka Multinomah County Bike Fair.

Now we hit the grill again to the next adventure.

Thank you everyone who participated and made it such a blast for us.

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