Today is my prostate exam day.

Anyone have any tips? oh that didn't come out right...oo niether did that. Nevermind i shouldn't be asking folks to butt into my medical procedures. Wish i had studied more, i don't always do well in exams.

LOng wait in the appropriatly named "waiting room." All I've had to eat all day was 40 oz, of coffee, and a Moderna Covid booster shot. The wait was so long I evolved into a new creature. 

Also a small tribe formed of the people on my side of the room. We were trading supplies with the tribe that evolved at the other side of the room but sadly tentions are rising. There is discontent between the factions. For our safety we have arranged the seats on our side into a protective circle. I'm keeping watch while others build fortifications filling barf bags with sand from the planter.

 It was quiet...too quiet. I thought hostilities would break out but they called my name. I abandoned my new tribe immediatly leaving them to their fate just as others had done ahead of me. The docs asked me why I waited so long.

 "Didn't you see what time your appointment was, you were way too early Dingo." The wait was so long because i don't read things enough. 

I don't mind because i always have fun. 

Dr. Coldfinger was very kind.

I noticed fresh cement outside a high school at 3:29pm. HAHAHA!

That's a rare and delightful state of affairs. Is it possible for several patches of wet cement to remain pristine after being passed by hundreds of kids?

Bell rung, I found my son and by the time i got back to the bus stop this nature documentary happened.

I love the weather this time of year. 

You can walk down the street getting drenched with rain while the streets on either side are having a funshiney day. 

Try not to take it personal.

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Told Olive Rootbeer I was having an unpleasant, ill feeling.

She asked what my symptoms were. 
I told her I have been randomly changing the TV channels in a house across the street...with my mind. 
She asked what I had to eat all day. 
I recount four 16 oz. cups coffee and a Thai Iced tea. 
She isn't a med pro but she knew what was wrong.
 Puberty.

Is this a thing?
 I just realized that folks will be quarantined together, shag it up out of boredom, get preggers and name the kid Covid. "Larry Covid 19 you get in the house and do your homework!" They will eventually develop into quatenteens.

Last week we were riding tallbikes with our 14 Y.O. son.

Last week we were riding tallbikes with our 14 Y.O. son. He got to see something unusual. He grew up on my tallbike but only recently started bike riding long distance with us on his own tallbike. For the most part he had to get used to folks cheering at us a lot. Well on this evening my bike light fell off the handlebars. 
I blame the butterfingers who installed it (myself). Our kid pulled over to pick it up for me but had to wait for a passing car. To his horror the car deliberately swerved a tire to the center of the road and atomized my light. 
Then it sped off leaving my light shattered into a million pieces . He was freaked out. "Dad that car went out of it's way to kill your light. What are you gonna do?"  
I was smiling the whole time. "I'm gonna do what I always do." and I pulled out an identical light with a sturdier strap, attached it without dismounting and clicked it on "Always plan for assholes son." 
He just rode for a while silently smiling.

"Croptober" last installment (helping the neighbor trim the last plants).

 It's a "hunter's moon"perfect time to bring my neighbor's last plants across the finish line. I'm a little starstruck.The only time I ever saw buds like this was in magazines. 

This one is called "Sticky Icky." There is chronic in backyards all over town these days. Our personal crop is already curing in Mason jars. 

I love how this situation encourages sharing and community. I also love so many folks getting around Big Pharma to grow their own medicine.

  Olive doesn't partake but she loves the love and care that come with trimming. I do partake and I'm into the meditation of fractals involved with trimming. 

We can get through them pretty fast. I'm looking forward to next year! 
Happy Croptober

Interesting read betwixt gigs

Interesting read betwixt giggy poos, 
Check out what vocations Uncle Sam thinks are growing. Right on! 
Three of them are clean energy solutions.

Out on the town. My parents are visiting from San Antonio.

 
We went out after a gig with the P's. Funny that they notice things we don't. I had no idea there was a tallbike graphic on our local ATM.

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"Consumers"

A giant apparatus has evolved to turn people into "Consumers" That word is an insult. We are sharers and contributors. "Consumer" is industry slang for "suckers". Our campfire conversation was about how well the sharers are doing and how bad the hoarders are doing these days. We don't mind seeing the end of hotels if people in houses are sharing rooms instead. Share food, blankets, medicine, information, space. share the burden of stewarding the country and of course share da weed man! ~Dingo Dizmal

Imagine how unreasonable a 3 y.o. is.

This Dude. Imagine how unreasonable a 3 y.o. is. Not the part where they throw a fit because something is the wrong color. I'm talking about the laughing at a joke that isn't funny part. "knock knock, who's there?, "bannannapumpkin!" That's my best 3 yo joke. No idea why it works but it kills. Imagine the joy of the laugh that non-sequitur gets and that is how one of our fans rolls 24-7. Pure joy and he is also a huge O&D fan. 

now we gotta build this bike. 

My man recently gifted us this portrait. He actually made an entire O&D comic book. I'm so impressed that a three year old did this, We get a lot of fan art. I think this is some of the best skill I ever seen. Can't wait to see what this Dude does when he grows up. I asked what the circles under Olive were. Everyone in the room scolded me "Those are balloons!" I didn't see that right away, I thought the kid somehow found my "too hot for internet" pics of us. Anyhoo, I'm super impressed with this artwork. I would make it our official Tshirt but unfortunately people are more likely to ask us for a free shirt than buy one so we end up folding every shirt run.

Ever get the sneaky feeling you're being watched?

Ever get the sneaky feeling you're being watched?

 I had that feeling yesterday. In a flip of the script, I detected a cop in the neighbors backyard a few months ago.

 I was sitting just on the other side of the fence. We didn't see one another because we happened to be silent and obscured. Then I smelled him.

 I leaned back looking between the slats and spied a cop standing silently in the yard only a few feet away from me. 

We live in a cologne free house in probably a cologne free neighborhood. That smell stuck out like a party popper. 

Whatever was going on next door was none of my beeswax. 

I still performed my civic duty by covering the cologne smell with my favorite smell. 

I was silent because I was rolling a joint.Yeah I quickly blew my cover. Luckily I wasn't doing anything illegal. 

Still it's awkward.

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my gear

Gear. I pull my guitar. street cube amp, cables, books and mic stand on my tallbike (the behemoth)'
 We do punk rock clown gigs all over Portland OR. My wife carries a ton of stuff too.
I think this is the way to gig since gas being part of the overhead kills your living as a musician.
All my stuff gets wet, cold, banged around a lot but I have whittled it down to the toughest gear possible.
That cube amp is still trucking since 2010.
It runs on 6 AAs, we can do a little kid show with it in the morning and then plug it into the house system at a nightclub and that little amp becomes our mixer for the adult show.
I highly recommend the street cube. I wish Craftsman made a guitar. That said I once heard my banjo fall off a friend's tallbike.
I knew it was my banjo because it sounded great even falling to the street.
I was shocked that it hardly had a scratch.
 I been playing 30 years but this was the decade I came to understand that the most expensive guitar isn't the toughest, it's often the case that expensive guitars are far more delicate.

 pic a friend sent from "Somewhere-elsistan"

what it look like tonight. wet and cold on the way to the burrito stand.

Free punk band names.

Lots of great stuff about the town I come from in South Texas. One thing the good people of Corpus Christi are good at is naming punk bands. 
All these years and miles later I'm still keying into potential band names that pop out of the headlines. 
As I listen to the news sites reporting the ill deeds of our current goverment, I can't help but wonder. What good does it do for me to listen to this? I can interpret world events myself Yo.
Then those phrases come up and my tail starts wagging.
A lot of whats going on is ideal fodder for procuring punk band names.
Unfortunately Portland is too hip and happy to support a punk scene. You need angst from suppression for punk. Portland doesn't create that so much. I won't be starting any bands. 
That doesn't mean you can't. 
Here is my list of top ten punk band names I dreamed up from the current political headlines. 
Use one or all for your band if ya like, it's on me. 
Rock on Donkey Kong. 
1. The Manifartz I would name my band this.
2. Mueller probe electronica
3. Individual one emo gothic
4. The Oligarchs ska band
5. The Presidential tweets acapella 
6. Steel Dossier hair metal
7. The Dangle Pardons country, funk, punk
8. Existential threat Straight edge punk
9. Trade Wars Pop punk
and last but not least...
10. Thunderbolt and lightning adventure core
(The affectionate names Stormy Daniel's gave to her post op breasts...and future Jeopardy clue). 
I love that the porn star is the only person in the political turmoil that I don't think is gross. :) 
11. Hush payment (slow jazz)
There ya go Joe.
These names could date your band but that's not a bad thing. 
This mess needs to be remembered.
Good luck!
~Dingo

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Someone auditioned for our clown gang yesterday.

 We said, "We would like to see a lot more of you...like double your weight and height a few times and try again."

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theremin doing an impression of a car alarm

I thought someone in the neighborhood was playing the saw. Then i realized it's Olive exploring the highest pitches of her voice.
Sounds like a theremin doing an impression of a car alarm.
I'm outside and it's pretty loud even though she is inside on the third floor. It must be coming up from the vents. lol I love when she sings covers of heavy metal songs. Olive makes Judas Priest sound like a Disney movie.
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My wife likes to give me little quizzes as I pass by.

My wife likes to give me little quizzes as I pass by.

 "Hey do you know what a walking foot is? 

I say "Yeah I had a bit of the old walking foot back in 90, thank goddess I got picked up by a country doc while hitch hiking or I never would have got it looked at boy howdy."

        "So you don't know..."
me: "No."

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chilly morning ride home

Great day for a chilly, brisk ride home from work. 

This morning before our show I walked into Henry Higgins bagels.. I ordered coffee and a bagel, tried to pay, as usual they wouldn't let me. A large group of 20 somethings were sitting at a table nearby. As I waited, one of them noticed me and started talking about me like I couldn't hear them. "Oh I forgot to tell you (to a friend) Portland is the kind of town where famous people walk around and visit shops like normal. look there, That's a famous clown called "Oliver". LOL! I wasn't about to correct them. My order came up and the barista didn't miss a beat, "Order for Oliver!" and handed me my loot.   oliveanddingo.com

Teens at burger joint drive thru: "Dingo, can i please get a free balloon, it's my birthday." Me: "You bet!" I don't care how old you are, be polite and I'm happy to break my stride.

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poem for open mic jill

Like Pomes? This a a powem I writ called Jill. Feel free to posit this saga at your local open mic.

Jill stares at you. Stares a few moments then "BAWWWKRK".

Jill is still hitting up her stainless steel mixing bowl. (BANG-Clank bump!)

Jill is a bulldog two years young, strong as a bowlin' ball and ever so dumb.

The dumb part doesn't hinder, how she get's her kicks,

voraciously eating kibble,

voraciously pooping on the bricks.

Jill is a snorting train wreck!

She likes the ball she likes her bowl.

She likes patrolling her lair.

But how she acts to the other dog

Can only be called unfair.

Dusty is a gentle heart and peaceful mellow soul.

He looks around with concern as Jill attacks the bowl.

He looks at me with sad eyes when Jill humps away at him.

Humpty dumpty is givin Dusty the hard sell again,

Jill sexually assaulting her friend is really messed up!

I tripped over myself just trying to break it up!

"Yo dawg! That's not cool!

Not cool at any time!"

Not only is it "frowned upon"

I'm pretty sure it's a crime!

10 min after I broke it up she was back to her humpy trick.

I needed to find an end to this, and find an end real quick!

"Knock it off woman, this is craziness!"

I didn't recognize my own words.

I usually don't like to raise my voice,

With swearing and canine slurs.

When she points her beady eyes at me,

All i see is catastrophe JILL!

Her black eyes brindle butt, jacked up grill like a piranha.

Big white head, all kinds of inbred,

This mug could scare her own Mama.

She is shorter than a wine bottle but very wide at the chest.

The dog is fast as lightning and never seems to rest,

Jill is a tiny one dog riot!

As I sit here she is going to town, beating up this mixing bowl.

It's her second favorite thing after humping a pit bull,

For hours now, it's all about, flinging it in the air

then shoving the down turned bowl across the floor wedging it under the chair.

Her hideous snout, it slams into a corner .

Then she lunges up attacking her toy

flinging ropes of spit in all directions.

grossing out my little boy, (BANG-Clank bump!)

Jill is a beast! A stinky, rude, calamity, (BANG!)

You can tell when she is around because I'm using profanity,

She is human nature's cruel mistake.

She ate the frosting, she ate the cake,

So why can't I stop smiling while looking at this thing?

What's wrong with me? Am I insane?

Is it her thousand mile an hour wagging tail, that looks like a chimpanzie penis?

Or the way she always wants to get between us?

Did i mention yeast builds up in the eye folds of this dog,

I had to clean it out with a surgical swab,

GROSS!

In our world I think all creatures fit,

But this one needs surgery to be born and comes with it's own haz-mat kit.

I gotta love that she outsmarted me though.

I thought I would be clever and put out the bowl,

Outside she shall play, so we could get some peace.

She didn't want to go but I begged her please!.

She ran outside, and caught her bowl, thrashing left and right,

Sending shrapnel of dog shit everywhere, into the freezing night,

Then she ran inside like she owns the place, into her warm house,

I was stuck cleaning dog poop (Some even got in my mouth)

She had caught me unaware, now she laughs at me from the top of the stairs.

JILL!

Around this dog, it never stops, it's never gonna be quiet,

Jill is a tiny behemoth who makes me scold her like a one dog riot!

Jill threw up jelly, Jill was a strain,

But I guess I would totally dog sit, Jill-zilla again.

(Pang- CLANK ROWFF!)

My bike tonight

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Olive Rootbeer took me on a date to an Ice Cream place.

She wanted to cheer me up. 
I was very upset to lose our camera. I suction cupped it to our car bumper, went a few blocks, learned it had fallen off and when we went back, it was gone. I was crestfallen. 
She needed me to feel better (and she had a coupon)so ice cream it is.
 The gopro only cost us a hundie. No biggie. 
It's the 3 hours work of music video material that I was really mourning. 
The only thing I'm materialistic about is our own personal entertainment material. lol 
We did find a lovely donation of art materials on our doorstep, that was uplifting. lol Mystery goodies!

So she bought me a rocky road cone as big as my head. 
I do feel a lot better...mostly from the date part. 
Olive is kind and hot as a firecracker. I'm glad she didn't melt my cone. 
As we left everyone cheered loudly for us. Odd timing since they saw us arrive, stood in a long line with us and we all ate together. Nobody said a word to us. Not complaining just observing some delicious human nature. We could still get the gopro or SD card back.

 I'm eager to see how that experiment works out.

This just in.....

Good afternoon,

Are you by any chance missing a gopro? I found one one my walk home. I though...oh gee my lucky day. Got home and found you both on its sd card. If it is yours I would love very much to return it to you.

Psst, hey, yeah you. Wanna help prop up our little Popsicle stand? Are you in a place to be hookin clowns up with some moneys for guitar strings and other things?

We appreciate cha Tiger, thanks a lot. We promise to give this thing everything we got. :)

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