Last night I had to return a huge bag of weed I accidentally shoplifted.

 Last night I had to return a huge bag of weed I accidentally shoplifted. I got home and pulled out the halfO I bought and then a whole zip as well. 

Oh did I mention I was in a sloth suit? Yes sometimes I rock animal outfits for thier warmth. The problem is it doesn't have very deep pockets. When i originally went I was shown two bags of cannabis. While talking and reading the numbers I pocketed one so not to lose it and then bought the other. All while talking and having fun with the workers (like ya do.) 

As I was leaving I was fumbling with wallet, weed, keys, other keys and weed. I remember telling the clerk that I wish I was an animal with a pouch like a kangaroo. We all laughed. I felt both bags but wasn't looking for extra stuff, I was looking for missing stuff. At home, when I realized what I had done. Crap! 

 I raced back to return it. I can't appreciate stolen stuff (too easy) but mostly I didn't want the worker to get into trouble.

 Soon as I entered the weed store all eyes were on me (still had the sloth suit on DOh!) There was no discreet way so I blurted out "Hi Dingo the clown here, You may remember me from a few moments ago. I accidentally prestidijitated this big bag of weed. I'm ever so sorry. My mistake, Here ya go." 

I pulled the big bag of toke out and plopped it down on the table like a trout. The manager's eyes lit up. That was a lot of weed. "But how did you do that?" He was smiling...everyone was smiling. " I arrested/redirected everyone's attention ...including my own. It happens. I got powers but I only use them for good." He pointed to a counter display full of huge joints. 

"Pick any one of those on us Dingo. I'm starting to really love what you are about." I picked somthing nice and bailed. I'm super glad the employee didn't get into trouble and niether did I.

Morocco

 

This guy. We made a friend [security culture I don't like mentioning anyones names]. At some food cartz in Sellwoodistan. I was enjoying his middleeastern soft rock and waiting for chili cheeze fries when the perveyer of the music approached.

"I know you two, you famous. I got a 6 year old and been to lots of parties."

 He introduced himself and we liked him right away. We talked a long time about life, the universe and everything. Olive Rootbeer was charming. 

I mentioned that we saw a truck flying his country's flag just yesterday. Two flags actually. 

His eyes lit up. "Oh that truck." 

He told us he tried to talk to the lady flying his country flag but she wasn't warm...or Moroccan. It was cultural appropreation cosplay. "There aren't many of us around here. When we find one another, we talk." He learned that they are a sect of Freemason that still fly other cultuers flags for sport and domination. He laughed at my shocked look and offered me a strong AF turkish coffee. Fantastic comunity moment in the Sellwood.

memes i been liking

 

This sticker at the DMV intrigued me.

 

This sticker at the DMV intrigued me. Total mistery. I have been to Planned Parenthood more times in my life than DMV. This place was another planet. What does this sticker warn? First thoughts were "The penalty for using any hyphens will will result in the immediate loss of driver's fingertip. " [If you need to use punctuation please go to the punctuation line thank you]

I'm now a wedding officiant!

We met a freshly single, "single serving friend"

 After our show yesterday it got interesting. It was a long ride home. Olive's leg was sore so we stopped to walk the bikes a bit. A lovely woman noticed us and started waving. "You did my kids party ages ago I must have a selfie. They are gonna freak out that you came by." We stopped, took pics then chatted. 

We talked about her kids, every animal show owns, every animal we own and then her recent situation where her huzbin cheated on her with her bestie and ended her marriage. She told us the whole country music song plot.

 Someone wanted her life and seduced her man. Wow. 

We shared our frustrations about family court. So there we were talking and sharing with someone we only met once a long time ago. We got emotional, hugged, laughed. We had a deep "single serving" friendship in that moment. Her wounds were fresh, our are deep. There was a lot to talk about regarding how to keep the kids in good shape when families fracture.

 Then a tall handsome man with a Spuds McKenzie dog walked by. He said hi and went next door. "Hi Tom" we talked a little more and I got an idea. "Hey Friend. Are you single now? How about that neighbor guy? He doesn't have to be my cup of tea for me to know that he is fine. That's a good looking man with a novelty dog. How about dating that drinka water?" 

She said "Oh yeah I'm totally shagging him. Keeping it light though. I been through enough.." We took off waving and smiling. She thanked her two emotional support clowns.

O&I have been watching all the Star Warziz in chronological order.

 O&I have been watching all the Star Warziz in chronological order. Right now we are in the prequels. 

No idea why folks have these movies so much guff. I like these more than most flicks...and I'm not even much of a movie fan. 

That said; It's a little offensive as a biology fan that most of the characters look like they evolved on Earth with the tetrapodal form, a head, bilateral symmetry and bipedal locomotion. It would seem that space faring intelligent life would more resemble a tray of goo than Obi Christwan. 

Also we noticed zero bathrooms and no wheelchair or droid access on any of the big Naboo staircases. It was the 90's. 

We were no better. The Clown House stairs were all different sizes and held together by paint. May the farce be with you.