T.B.T. the 70's (177 AD)

This guy, the dude who's name sounds like a Latin toilet "Commodus" son of Marcus Aurelius. 

You may remember him as a character in the movie Gladiator. 
He was a villain in the movie but the actual guy was much worse. 
He once killed 100 lions with arrows supposedly to "entertain" but even those crowds well used to slaughter saw it was a dick move. 
He did actually fight in the gladiator arena and never lost a match (odd since he only used a wooden sword...and his Praetorian Guard.) 

This is how I imagine the president's son will be remembered (if at all) killing defenseless animals for joy and being an entitled prick. 
So eventually the Prefect, a dude called Laetus got sick of Commodus and hatched a conspiracy to poison him.
 When that didn't work they sent a wrestler to strangle him. That did work. 
He was cremated and his name stricken from the records.
What a douche. 
Then in 195 AD an emperor called Severus wanted to gain favor with the Auralius family so he restored Commodus's name and instructed the senate to make him a god. 
Fun.

It started out as a conversation about hot sauce.

We were talking about how I  turned a corner about hot sauce after trying my friend Shane's Ghost Pepper sauce..

" So you're Spanish but don't like hot sauce?"
"I'm not Spanish, I never been to Spain."

"Do you speak Spanish?"
"Not much, you would only really hear it if I was kicking you're ass, saving your ass or ordering Mexican food. I grew up talki'n regaler "Merican English."

"Then you are Mexican?"
""Nope, my time in Mexico can only be measured in hours, none of which were spent being born."

You must be Latino?"
"No, I'm terrified and fascinated with ancient Rome but I'm not Latin."

"So do you call yourself Hispanic?"
"I already told you I have nothing to do with Spain, I'm from Texas."

"Oh.. you are a...a.. Taquito?"
"Are you trying to say Tejano?"
"Yes Tejano, Like Selena the Tejano star."
" Correct, but I think The Tejano Star may have been the name of my high school newspaper, funny you know who Selena is."

"Texan huh? Did you have a horse?"
" I had a BMX bike and a surfboard (but if it makes you feel better I named them both Trigger).
"A surf board in Texas?wtf??"
"Yes Texas is situated next to a little thing we like to call...the ocean."
"Ha! Dingo surfs it up huh?"
" Ha yup, 20 years ago. I didn't say I was great at it but I did put my hours in doing dawn patrol."
"Wow, it's like I don't know you."
"We don't know each other, but it was nice talking to you."

Then we spent 10 min. in awkward silence until we came to my bus stop and I got off.

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