my favorite Christmas song

 I was once in a bar sitting near an elderly Southeast Asian couple and a native American man. 
We didn't know each other. Just quietly in our own worlds. 
Then that song that goes "Do you see what I see?" came on the jukebox. 
For a while we sat quietly but I was curious if they were as unsettled as I was. 
They were worse. I could see the elderly couple was seeing Huey helicopters blowing up villages, agent Orange etc. 
All I could imagine is the classic homogenized Xmas that is about over consuming pink plastic, White Jesus and his Iron age chain letters. 
The Native guy had us beat. 
He understandably saw genocide.
 For a moment we all looked terrified. 
Then the native guy let us all off the hook when he broke the silence saying
 "I see some messed up shit man." 
Our laughter crushed the tension and we all started talking to each other. 
That creepy tune became my favorite Christmas song that almost silent night.

OK Kids, this one's called "Anubis and the Three Pharaohs!"

Once upon a predynastic period, along the Nile river lived three porcine pharaohs. The first piggy king built his hut of imported straw..Then for some reason (fleas) most everyone was stricken with plague. The middle dynasty king built his house of sticks but was crushed to death when the wooden pillars couldn't support the stone roof. The New Kingdom pig built a pyramid of sandstone but was still stopped before entering the afterlife by Anubis because of a clerical error (during a series of earthquakes someone misspelled his name several times while performing the most hasty embalming process).

 Now the three Pharaohs names shan't be spoken lest the speakers soul be immediately blown by Anubis through the lotus blossom into the deep, dark, dusty vacuum of the abyss. HAHAHA! The end. For a decidedly less awful telling of the classic 3 pigs story please download our 3 little pigs song for under a buck!~http://www.amazon.com/Three-Little-Olive-Rootbeer-Dingo/dp/B00GXKRIJM/ref=sr_1_1?s=dmusic&ie=UTF8&sr=1-1&keywords=three+little+pigs+olive+dingo