Showing posts with label dog shit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dog shit. Show all posts

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Mystery of the phantom turds solved.



Everyday, dog mess appeared in a local yard. 
Surveillance ensued. Nothing electronic, this was good old fashioned 5 am stakeout. The culprit: The neighbor three doors down lets his dog poop in the yard during the "wee hours" of the morning. 
Luckily the homeowner knows a clown who is easy to bribe and owns a pneumatic canon. 
These things are capable of sending a load over the house next door and right on it's perp-rooftop target.
 If you ever need this service I'm happy to oblige. My stick is on loan right now but when it's in my grubby hands I can make it sing (poop/fire/ski poles). 
I'm cheap too, I think I did this for a roll of dimes and a box of tampons (that I also shot out of the canon). 
Good times.

I love Portland free boxes. So much of the coolest stuff I ever brought home came from random boxes of stuff people put out. Today I found t...