When I first got to P-town mid 90's, the naked ride was on April Fools day and had a very hippy feel.
Then the World Naked Bike Ride hit the scene as a protest and appeal for cyclist awareness; it's a fantastic thing that helps green-light legislation and encourage bike friendly infrastructure while enjoying a naked night on the town. This street theater happening is also cheap and fun.
As time went on, it slowly became less of a protest. Black guy president, we won, lets have fun!
Like the Clown House, the activist flavor gave way to a complacent frat-party feel.
That was disappointing in a age when cows and cars are really taking the planet for a ride; it takes Earth 800,000,000 years to reset after climate collapses.
Another ill point is getting jeered at by folks on the ground who don't know what the inside skinny's all about. I go from having fun to wanting to throttle people. I'm not butt hurt, it's more like having to watch a movie you don't like on your only day off. Annoyingly sad.
They think we need attention.
We just want enough attention to not get hit by a car.
Now I gotta tell ya what I do like about the last W.N.B.R. I attended.
I was with my pal Leapin Louie the cowboy clown.
Both of us riding high and in chaps n cowboy hats.
I love that guy.
It's funny that tallbikes put our butts right at eye level to everyone else.
Hawhawhaw EEEEHa!
I also love the jewel at the end of the crown....
wait for it (drum roll)
!!The sausage party at the end of the ride!! LOL
Lots of cyclists with bitchin' bike bods, where lots of men get to see very attractive woman discover the ride and all strip naked to join... They don't see that every day.
I'm sure it drives em crazy. At the end of the ride all the fellas stick around but the woman vanish like vampires in a cloud of bats.
It's a riot to see all those poor saps looking at each other expecting someone to be female and there never is, it's always a sea of penises all glaring at each other.
I know, it's kind of mean of me but I don't get that many laughs like that. To me it's like watching turtles.
So I'm a kid clown as well as sideshow performer. Have been for 20 years here in Puddletown. Been nude a lot on stage and in the street. For the clowns it's the cheapest act to put on. :)
I have literally got it on with two woman while riding a bike on the very same stage that I would get married on a decade later.
I'm not shy at all. Thing is, I can't be full monty clown anymore. The secret to living in kid and adult entertainment worlds was made clear in the movie Ghost Busters.
Don't cross the streams.
Too much photography ruins the game for us. There is no way for us to keep our entertainment lines from crossing; to control what people do with images of us.
On this W.N.B.R. 2018, we decided to take one for the team, go on the ride and have a great time with our friends.
We hear that a Japanese tv show is hip to interview us at this years ride.
So here we are.
Now that I know we will be interfacing with the media, I gotta get my story straight now.
I have been interviewed before and what came out of my face was the dreadful truth of a behind-the-scenes guy. I regret not crafting a better narrative.
This is a great clown op to tell the original story about what the ride is about.
So what do we wear to participate but not nose dive our daily bread?
Olive's first thought was for us to rock diapers; she volunteered to make us each a diaper.
Then we decided on just some form fitting lycra and lots of body paint.
I want "I care a lot" written on my back in white.
My cargo bike, Behemoth, is great for carrying a passenger.
We are open to taking someone on my bike who maybe can't ride a bike, is injured, or wants to spend hours nude perched on the back of my bike. I'm not gonna be too loud about this option since the ride starts in frikkin b.f.e. (Cathedral park).
I'm no longer grumpy with W.N.B.R. We need as many rides as we can to promote cycling, fitness and bike awarness. And I'm looking forward to seeing all the smiling faces and the sea of vertical smiles too! If you're out there riding, thank you, stay safe and:
See ya there!
~Dingo Dizmal Portland clown
p.s.
One year we just went to photograph all the people photographing nude people.
A lady with what looked like a National Geographic camera yelled to me "Please disrobe mr.clown!" I yelled "Frightfully sorry Madame I have the Diarrhea!' Her colleges got a good laugh at her getting clowned by the clown. She never got a pic of me but I did get a pic of her.
We took pics of lots of people photographic nude riders. We would put our cameras in their faces and take pics of them. This guy taking photos of women was not very happy about Olive invading his privacy with her camera.
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