First truck trip. Operation Tallbikes to rural tykes

 First time bringing the tallbikes out of town since getting a truck. It was a triumph for us. We took them to Independance Oregon (44.8512° N, 123.1868° W) a rural riverside town. It was a harrowing ride thru heavy rain and fast traffic. I only been driving a short few monthes so it was stressful but managable with Olive navigating, She also procured the Harbor frieght tiedowns and mastered keeping the bikes on the truck. Losing two tallbikes off the back at 75mph and in the driving rain was not an option. Felt great to arrive.

 We were invited to thier city halloween celebration. This was new to the city so they were still feeling out how to festival. 

We just threw all our family friendly spaghetti at the wall. Tallbikes KILLED they loved it. Then we played a set of music and BOMBED hard. Not thier thing. Then we switched to balloons and quickly got a crowd again. We were standing out there long after all the other venders had split. Thankfully the local music store shop keeper let us use his shop as our base. 

Afterwards, the person who hired us mentioned that most of those folks only see stuff like this in movies and tv. She wants to have more events that introduce the population to some great community fellowship. And of course teach em how to festival. I really enjoyed watching the whole town also appreciate the talented contact juggler and stilt walker. I am so glad the rural folks got to see the stuffs. 

The ride home was mellow, even fun. It was still raining but the roads were pretty clear for the most part. Soon as I got home I sat in the truck alone mellowing out after the drive. I saw 6 ft.+ Darth Vader walk by wearing a pleated skirt and very big umbrella held over the shoulder like a bat so it didn't actually stop any rain. Not knowing if they were Portland or Halloween made me know by no uncirtain terms that I am home.

This beast has grown to like my companionship. It was a surprise.

 This beast has grown to like my companionship. It was a surprise. I tried to talk her out of it. "I'm not the best "Friend matierial" kinna guy Yo, my social batteries are spent and my life is too high maintinence for anymore "Project life forms" Plus my wife is allergic to you. She persisted by loving on me and demanding cuddles. When I opened doors for her she let me know "I'm not going in. I'm rollin wi choo." I tried to explain "Hey, I'm flattered but I'm not a cat person, I don't feed you and opening your doors is just part of the social contract. I'm expecting you to protect me from mice, rats and string." She ignored that and still follows me a lot. This is the cat that has been in Olive's family for over a decade. I like that she bites and gripes out most folk who try and touch her. Her Love language for most apes and cats is violence. I call her the Dragon Lady but she is very tender with me (other than poking her kitty litter claws into my leg as I pet her. ) Olive says I'm particulary good at charming older ladies. I'm just glad to be on the good side of the most ferocious beast in our house. I would tell you her name but then she would have to kill you.

onion bagel

 Yeah. So today I took the Burrito bike to Hammer and Jacks to get specialty balloons, then to our ol pal Henry Higgins Bagels for a bagel. I was joyfully going home on the old schwinn eating my messy cream cheese bagel. and thinking about Japan. I looked back down the side street I was on and noticed I dropped my napkin. I swooped around, retrieved my napkin and continued munchie wunching. When I wiped my mouth it didn't taste of cream cheese. That was unexpected. It tasted of bacon burger. Then I looked down and noticed my napkin still stuck to my sleeve and realized I never dropped my napkin, I found someone elses. The only way out was thru so I continued munching my Higgins bagel. Good thing it was a delicious onion bagel. It tasted so good I changed my mind about setting my mouth on fire with gasoline. #henryhiggins

Wow I now have a drivers license for the first time since early 90's.

Wow I now have a drivers license for the first time since early 90's. I failed the last test because I only practiced paralel parking (wasn't on the test) and the silence left me stuck in my own head so i made errors. I also didn't want my clown powers to influence the test. It's life and death so if I deserve to fail I should fail. 

Today we had to pay the 65 buck for a driving school to test me. I was looking forward to driving a goofy looking car with an A frame on the roof shouting "Drivin school" but no it was a nice car and a nice tester-man. 

He had the body and wardrobe of someone's brother in law. 40something, workin hands, easy smile. The dmv gives you a paper saying "Don't have conversations with the evaluator" so i didn't. This time with the private company i did a little. 

I broke the silence with a question.

"Should I tell you every time I see a cop?

It was cool. We were just a couple of dudes dooding and stuff. Dudes aren't silent unless something is kicking off. This was drive time. We wanted to be talking about Dude crap, Y'know, the world and women and stuff. After 30 min in the burbs we became fast single-serving friends. So much that when we returned we parked behind Olive, both jumped out, ran around the car and did 5 pushups and jumped back in. Olive noticed and her eyes were as big as saucers. "What are they making him do?" By the time she ran out with the camera we were pretending like that didn't just happen. Just two doods duding up paperwork.

this just came out of the oven. A lovely, informative talk about money.

 

Last night I had to return a huge bag of weed I accidentally shoplifted.

 Last night I had to return a huge bag of weed I accidentally shoplifted. I got home and pulled out the halfO I bought and then a whole zip as well. 

Oh did I mention I was in a sloth suit? Yes sometimes I rock animal outfits for thier warmth. The problem is it doesn't have very deep pockets. When i originally went I was shown two bags of cannabis. While talking and reading the numbers I pocketed one so not to lose it and then bought the other. All while talking and having fun with the workers (like ya do.) 

As I was leaving I was fumbling with wallet, weed, keys, other keys and weed. I remember telling the clerk that I wish I was an animal with a pouch like a kangaroo. We all laughed. I felt both bags but wasn't looking for extra stuff, I was looking for missing stuff. At home, when I realized what I had done. Crap! 

 I raced back to return it. I can't appreciate stolen stuff (too easy) but mostly I didn't want the worker to get into trouble.

 Soon as I entered the weed store all eyes were on me (still had the sloth suit on DOh!) There was no discreet way so I blurted out "Hi Dingo the clown here, You may remember me from a few moments ago. I accidentally prestidijitated this big bag of weed. I'm ever so sorry. My mistake, Here ya go." 

I pulled the big bag of toke out and plopped it down on the table like a trout. The manager's eyes lit up. That was a lot of weed. "But how did you do that?" He was smiling...everyone was smiling. " I arrested/redirected everyone's attention ...including my own. It happens. I got powers but I only use them for good." He pointed to a counter display full of huge joints. 

"Pick any one of those on us Dingo. I'm starting to really love what you are about." I picked somthing nice and bailed. I'm super glad the employee didn't get into trouble and niether did I.

Morocco

 

This guy. We made a friend [security culture I don't like mentioning anyones names]. At some food cartz in Sellwoodistan. I was enjoying his middleeastern soft rock and waiting for chili cheeze fries when the perveyer of the music approached.

"I know you two, you famous. I got a 6 year old and been to lots of parties."

 He introduced himself and we liked him right away. We talked a long time about life, the universe and everything. Olive Rootbeer was charming. 

I mentioned that we saw a truck flying his country's flag just yesterday. Two flags actually. 

His eyes lit up. "Oh that truck." 

He told us he tried to talk to the lady flying his country flag but she wasn't warm...or Moroccan. It was cultural appropreation cosplay. "There aren't many of us around here. When we find one another, we talk." He learned that they are a sect of Freemason that still fly other cultuers flags for sport and domination. He laughed at my shocked look and offered me a strong AF turkish coffee. Fantastic comunity moment in the Sellwood.