Thursday, January 31, 2008

Breaking up is hard to do...easy if you were never with the person, you can just Email

dEAREST AYLEEN,
> We have to break up (sniff)cuz I found a lady that loves me, we'll
> always have M.C.B.F.s 5-7, be strong.
> Live well, goodbye.
> I'll
> always
> like
> you
> Dingo the Clownarchist
>

her reply:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we could have made beautiful children

or did we make beautiful children?

I know what you're doing for that lady and I bet she will always
appreciate and remember it.



Here's to the beautiful children we never had a chance to make

a

(sigh)
Now what do I do with this "NAUGHTYCROTTY" tatoo?

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The cat

Ok so I've taken money to do many gross things in my life, you would be happy if I didn't submit that list.
Nowdays it's really hard to gross me out.
A large gray/black cat had met it's end on NE Dekum
It's body had been there for some time, it had become a health concern.
I got wind that it was bugging my dog and grossing out the stream of tiny tots that walk by it everyday.
Caffo mentioned it to me that it would soon start stinking, I took the case...for the kids y know.
So I asked her to give me the biggest shopping bag she had.
I had spotted the contraband kitty while delivering my son earlier, yuck.
When I revisited the crime scene, I noted that the cat had been frozen and thawed on the sidewalk, it's remains seemed intact.
I needed to transport the deceased to someone trained in the safe disposal and burial of bodies, Nathan B.
(Little known fact:Dingo's family in Central Texas are Undertakers by trade, Nathan B. has nothing to do with this, he safely dismantles computors.)

It had stopped raining the night before so it was dry out but very cold, the kind of cold that makes ya just go AAAAAAAAAAA!.
I grabbed it's half frozen, soggy paws and stuffed it head first into my paper sack.
The sack dropped and I cried like a bitch aaah!
I quickly regained my composure and noted that this cat is heavy and my back is sore from rolling around on my floor with Meghan and some foam, mmmmmmm Meghan.
I was loading the critter in jabby movements, not because it was morbid work, but because it was butt ass cold out.
The paper sack looked at me like, "Wha- yer asking me to hold a wet what...in this weather?"
I then started my trip down Dekum to Union blvd.
The first folks I encountered were a couple of hop hop looking kids , they were liying to each other so much then didn't notice the crazy guy with the sopping wet cat.
On my way I spied the silloette of a fella walking at me, I say At Me because he was using the whole sidewalk, his body gyrating and tagging all his corners of time and space.
I thought he was talking into a cell phone, it was a pantamime phone and he was singing into it.I quickly put it together, this is a crack head.
I always wondered what could be on those fools minds.
The man diddy bopped up to me, looked me up and down using his full body range, saw the cat and with a cartoonish frown asked "Whats wrowng witcho woman?"
I like that I'm a normal part of this dude's day.
He kept on down the way and I turned back once to see him bothering the two young men, then I herd screaming, I kept walking.
Thats night time Dekum North East Portland, I ve lived here a long time, my eyes went into "Terminater vision"as I went I looked at the terrain, every bush, look up all around because you can get jumped easy in a hood if they don't see right away that you have a dead cat.
I walked on and switched hands a lot, the labor warmed my blood and I soon was comfortable.
I spotted a homebum with a shopping cart, he was sober and looking even dapper, I hid the cat as I walked and yelled across the street, "Say Dad, you looking for cans? theres some three blocks this way and on the left!" no need to freak him out, the man is working, and I can't ignore a huge pile of money laying on the curb, I was glad someone got the deposit cans I noticed.
As I was hiding the cat from the home bum, a car came up to me standing in the intersection and completely lit me up, I walked off but the whole intersection was now onto my secret.
A really tough looking lady (bald head, combat boots, spikes) saw me coming and her gruff expression turned to the frightened look of a little kid, I was looking right at her, her age melted.
See, as I was getting out of the intersection I was traveling quickly, in big boots heel to toe and purposfuly and she was in a bus box cornered, I was already in that far so I made my lips as small as I could, the cat parts happened to be parading right in front of her face as I said "Goodevening."
I could feel the relief behind me as I dissapeared into the night.
I hid the cat the rest of the way because I was passing restraunts and cafes, my bread and butter industry.
Upon arriving at my friends house, he didn't answear his door, I rang all three bells, both buttons , yelled and just for good mesure called his dog, bird and children.
he was gone, can't take the cat on the bus so I wrote a note to him and put it in my pocket.
I walked to the bus stop at North East Dekum and M.L.K. it was there that my karma came back, somebody scared the crap out of me.
A man walked up to me sporting some gold chains, products in his hair and a pushy nature.
His hands were in his jacket pocket and he was looking at my hands and asking questions.
"Is the bus coming soon?" it was a question but he told it to me.
He kept looking me up and down and answering questions that nobody asked him..."I'm the drummer man, I play the drums".
His body didn't stop moving back and forth, each time getting closer to me, I put my hands in my pockets and threw my back to the wall just nodding with him and being agreeable.
He would have made a great dance partner with the crack head.
In a trick I learned from my aunts in San Antonio I pulled the cap off my pen and got ready to put him down, I have two aunts who get through parking lots with sparp keychains.
I remember looking at the street curb behind him, and seeing how it was dry mud and soot from the bus, his nice clothes are about to be really dirty when he fell there wounded.
I just wanted to go see Meghan..mmmmm Meghan!
I hoped it wasn't gonna have to go down like that I'm I'm glad as hell that it didn't.
I thought about how ironic that this wouldn't be the issue if I still had the wet, dead cat.
The bus came and saved us both a lot of trouble Thank You Trimet!
Later in the ride the man walked up to the driver and spoke to him as he was making a dificult lane change, he was asking about a nearby connection, he didn't notice the driver was concentrating and asked again.
The driver said "Get off in two stops and walk a block, you can catch it there."
The man stared at him blinking and smiling he then said back the entire wrong directions, the driver repeated himself three times and the guy never played back the same tape.
He looked at the driver and then at ma and then at the driver, "I'm the drummer".
See the guy wasn't making a kill to get into a gang like I thought, we was just a simpleton.
See! Told ya it would be ok...I didn't say that? OK sue me.
I got home and called Nathan, I told him that I had left a present for him in his front yard.
Nathan called me a few hours later "You left a dead cat on my front lawn? I dismantle computors not cats!"
So thats the story of the baby jesus, the kids will be looking for lost cat signage to let the owners know in the coming weeks, that's gonna suck to tell them.

SWEEEEET(click here)

nice photo of Bizzy

Hardwear do hickys

I got most of the rubber chickens on the wall at Muddy Waters Coffee House on Belmont.
Also trucked over from NE Alberta on Broadzilla.
I'm going on a mini tour to Seattle and then into Canada, if you gotz biddnez with me do it soon, I won't be around this weekend.
I don't like to leave my neighborhood and I sure don't like leaving Portland but I'm gonna be with my sweety and she makes the road rash less stingy and it's always fun to make out at rest stops dressed as mimes.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

eeew

ok I found a pair of socks rolled together in the middle of the street, I turned around and picked them up, they were warmer, thicker, cleaner and more compfy than the rags I had on, I took my socks off on the spot and I'm still enjoying the new ones six days later!

One of the bands I'm working on a tour with

of late



From master bike builder, Toaster the clown!

Queen Christina ruled Sweden from 1632 to 1654. What did she consider the biggest threat
to
her kingdom? Fleas. The Queen hated them and wanted each and everyone one she found in her

palace killed … individually.

To accomplish this feat (this was long before the invention of chemical insect
repellents), she
commissioned the construction of a tiny, one-inch-long cannon, that was packed with tiny
flea-
sized cannonball. Whenever she spotted one, she fired the tiny cannon at it and
occasionally
made a
killshot.
Thanks Toaster, any news about cannon is good news!

Iv'e been trying to post stuff for days

It just isn't working so good so heres a bit of it:
Rode the max train all day sunday and monday and it was silent, had nice dinner with Meghan and Ashlee,eventually got alone and jumped Meghan's bones six ways to sunday (we do that a lot)Sometimes she leaves for work early and I hang her blankets up so they don't smell like feet, she comes home and accuses me of doing withcraft, I do a lot of wizardry but never with her sheets.
next day I had my boy, we had fun, brought him back, hauled a dead cat away from Caffo's place (it was annoying my dog and our kids)I took it to Nathan B's place after terrorizing the neighborhood walking around with jack boots, over coat and half a frozen cat sticking out of a wet grocery bag.
(Now I hear it's annoying his dog and kids)he gave me a camera and a 4 track recorder.
I'm working with some folks to get a new act of three bands to tour around Portland with, expect big stuff from Blood Sugar Circus this next month.
Still doing open mic Thursday but going to miss the Sat. open mic to visit Canada and Seattle for bike events.
If you have any biddness to perform with me. do it before Thursday night.
Love

cool super 8 film clip

Sunday, January 27, 2008


I need art stuff, anyone want to trade for art supplies?

It's a sunday mornin here at Skye Tower in the portland, I woke up tangled up in my sweetie, with us also was my 2 year old son Bam and RPM on the floor.
We don't get mushy around the kids but we do cuddle a lot, they cuddle too, except for this morning when my first real eyes open look at the day was seeing my son wake my daughter by straddling her head with his wet diaper legs eeeew!
It was a Sweet and Sour mornin having meghan and bam between the sheets.
Speaking of sheets, whats up with sheets?
When my friend Meghan started waking up at my house, she instructed me to get some sheets, I laughed "Yeah right", she stood there blinking at me and it dawned on me that she really wanted me to put sheets on my bed.
I roll in two sleeping bags, a military blanket, a county jail blanket and one of those big blue super blankets that moving companies use to protect surfaces in the trucks.
Most of my bedding came with the room or I don't know where it came from.
I suspect she wants sheets for the same reason I hate sheets, you have to launder them a lot.
I always thought sheets were better at keeping evidence than keeping you warm, it's not so much a problem because we both hate having sex in beds anyway so sleeping is what we do there.
I don't like laundry doing unless it's funny (56 pounds of jock straps I would have a blast laundering in public).
As of now we are three adults taking care of four kids, only one kid is old enough to be any fun, the others are high maintenence and exhausting.

They are also a barrel of fun, super funny and super fun at times, don't get me wrong I love this group of winged monkeys.
We were going to visit the Hawthorne Hostel for brunch with Sean and friends but they were behaving so well, we didn't want to move them.
I went over there with some citrus for them, maybe next week I will swing by.
Nope, next week I'm doing the Dead Baby Downhill and then on to Canada.
Did you know that Canola Oil is actually the oil extracted from...RAPE SEED????
Yes I have some reliable people telling me that the Can- in Canola stands for Canada.

Kid club report, (warning..B.S. in 3..2..1*

OK so I went down to the shop for the open mic and it was dizmal, the weather was poot so I thought we would get a good turn out.
I noticed all the tables full of "Study Hallers" hanging out with single drinks, maybe a bagel ,
they all had laptops going sucking electricity and to my horror, a couple of woman had an entire spread of carrot sticks, dips and other groceries from Zoopans I guess (WTF?)
I didn't want to go in there like an asshole and chase them out without authority, Miranda had a full line and was dealing with lots of people.
So there were lots of people there but I don't know how profitable they were.
Boy will it be fun to see the faces when gangs of little kids and their moms come in to eat peanutbutter and sing crap songs bwahahahahahahahaha!
My publicity machine is churning but not fast enough for the day,we didn't yet get many people.
But there is good news and great news, I was waiting for today's outcome to check in with you.
The people that did show up decided to come next week and bring a slew of children for a birthday party, by then the fliers I made will be up in all the performing arts schools, it will be a packed house.

Sucky day, gonna be a great year!
Dingo

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Today is the kids open mic

3pm at Muddy waters cafe., I'm hoping for a good turn out.

teaching the chiddrens

I just got back from a cafe, my boy was no frikking fun in there so we had to leave.
Having the kids back around is always a shock to me, wish my family lived nearby so we could all take turns with all the kids, thats how I expected it to be here.
It's not worth living in Texas to have good family, I'm just training my friends.
The familia that the kids have in the North West are more like room mates, actually, over the years, our room mates have been more close to my kids than any of the blood relatives.
Meghan spent the night last night and I was impressed at how well she did, she's up at dark thirty in the morning anyway and her friends chatter a lot too so it wasn't much of a jump, she did have to look at a huge plate of dead turkey legs, brave girl, I'm so crazy about her.
R.P.M. was marching around doing her best evil villan..."I will wreak vengence on you all!"she claimed in her best evil voice, I had to correct her, "You wreak "havoc" honey, the word your looking for is "Seek" for the vengence."
"thanks dad."
"I love you baby."

Friday, January 25, 2008

I like this fellah (click here)

I toured around Portland

Today with Joe from the Trib, we looked at punk houses and talked to people, it was so fun.

Now I'm somebody's #1, feels great!

I rode a small bike today, all the way to NE Alberta to check on my chickens.
sold two so far YAY!!
Portland shrunk for me, I thought I was slow, turns out I'm hauling five or so bikes around with two gears.
I need to fix up Broadzilla so I can keep up with Meghan.
I was prepairing for an interview with the Tribune, I'm kinda saddly looking through old photos.
What do I do with a body of dead work?
All the usable stuff is gone, we did a fine movie called "The Robbery" , I handed it off to some puddin heads and it's gone, it would have gone great with the soundtrack we made.
The article is about the book "Punk House" that I told you about.
We will be talking about the Clown House on Alberta as it was, so I was looking at all the ghosts that once were...Pinga, Ood, Biz, all faded back into the mist now.
What am I gonna tell this guy?
The neighborhood donated seed money to get a new Clown House but the Landlord ripped us off?
How about...
"Yeah we were on the verge of world domination when a bunch of those fools I worked with fell in love and dropped out like bitches."
That is punk rock actually, It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't been so alone, I lived for my friends and family, they seemed to abandon ship as soon as it got hard.
The first guy found a girlfriend and I stupidly thought we had gained another talent, no deal, his work went down the tubes.
The other dude found love too...tough love, soon as he hooked up with her he stopped smiling, had tons of confusing problems and then he fell off the map.
If he would have been working on his act (or getting a new Clown House) instead of being an emotional maxi pad he would be doing at least as well as I am and I'm on top of my game blasting up up up!
He did work hard to get Bizzy a boyfriend and that was the last of her.
So I'm not going to mention any of this to the paper because it's sad, I'll just talk about the dog and speak of the old crew in general terms and without mentioning names.
I am trully happy for them when I see them do well, I saw someone buy a painting of a photo of Chlorine that Pinga made, the patron had no idea who the clown was in the painting, she just liked the work, I was proud of both of them, when the lady left the building with her painting she took the bond I had to Caff and Ping with her, it was over.
I wish the story was about Skye Tower as it is now, I have a great relationship with my kids, I make a living and pay my bills with money from doing comedy, I have a wonderful girlfriend that loves me, plus we are giving away lots of free food and looking for the next big house, that much I will mention.
We have been in big meetings, the subject:Credit/housing/venue.
orry if this sounds harsh , I keep it real man...real drama queen huh
Good news, Caffeine just called and told me that she made Banjo "Super Dog" costume, now thats what the book is about!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Tonight "Open Mic" for the 21 and over

This Sat, is for the kids

Punk house (click here)


Here of the book "Punk House"?
A nice lady named Abby came by during the hight of the Clown House on Alberta days and published a book about houses like mine.
I hear about her book all over town and as short as a dog's life is, I'm so glad she preserved a lasting image of my dog Banjo Dizmal.
She tells me there will be a news story in a Portland paper about the book and she wants me to do the interview.
I better remember to keep it positive, it will be hard to keep from mentioning that the landlord ripped us off so bad, maybe I can find a funny way to tell on him.
she wrote:
".> hi Dingo,a paper in the portland area wants to interview someone who
> > 'lives in a punk house' or is in this book of photo's. i thought of you,
> > would you be interested in being interviewed? if so, can you e-mail me
> > your phone number and i can pass it along to them?~abby
Dingo,
thank you so much! i'm happy to hear that you like the book!
i think your positive attitude towards the project is so important, because you are part of it! i think that is a strong message. i think just saying how you feel about the book is good. i have no clue what they will ask you. they may want to know about all the wonderful activities you all had going on there.
i remember hearing about a 'clown' house from people in portland i met, and we kept asking around until someone gave us directions to your house, and we knocked on the door, if i recall correctly, met you & several other folks (and banjo) in the house and hung out all afternoon. i took photo's and we asked (we being tim and I) you questions about the house and about your lives. just refreshing my memory.
anywhoos, here's my number in case you want to call me (802) 258-7218
i'll forward your number to maya at the publishing company (abrams) who can set up a good time for you and the news paper person.
thank you dingo,
abby

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I go to three coffee shops,

I go to three coffee shops, they have different things available to me that I like, the corporate one, has classical music and a view of Hawthorne Street, I get over the overpricedness and think to myself "At least it's not Starbucks (across the street).
The one thats close is nice for music too, but the main selling point is that it's close, the employees though very nice but are far too cool to talk to sometimes, it's like the swankyest Burning man cafe ever.
The place is empty all the time, I can help with that but they just laugh at me.
The third and most important is Muddy Waters Coffee house, it has internet connection, nice folks and I work there, bring in your own coffee cup and it's only a buck.There is also the Concordia Coffee House in NE Portland (On Alberta street) it's kind of far away from my house but they are hosting my Rubber Chicken set of paintings.

*
One thing I never understood how to deal with, when you are in show biz for many years, nice folks comp your order, it happens all the time, free stuff.
Trust me, I'm not complaining, I rely on it, it's just in front of everyone else,it makes me feel like a jerk, the rest of the folks look at me like "Who the hell are you buddy?"
I like to wait when I go into places that I'm known in until there is nobody around to get the sweet freebies.
Today I pushed the money in the girl's hand hoping she would stick it in the till but instead she threw it back at me and said "Dingo, I don't know why you still try to pay all the time.".
I looked around, people in front of me, people behind, all looking at me.
I put the money on the counter and spayed it out so she would have to take enough time collecting it, for me to get away.

It's part of why I stopped drinking booze, if you often don't have to pay for it, why bother regulating, sometimes I get so spun on coffee because it's free and can't function well.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Click here for video, my #1, guitar god and #1 planet

I like that there are equipment and props all over the floor, in this case it's good because were working the clown act so much it makes no sense to re-pack too tightly.
Those are good problems.
I have a secret project I'm working on, one of great importance to Portland herself, I need to build a little more before I show you folks.
Heres a hint:
There is no such thing as a boring bus ride anymore...
What a broke ass no camera having fool I am, I know someone who has been taking some pix, they will be up soon.

from a new fan...


Dingo,
Hope you like the pic. Got to know what is it that you do?? Was checking out your blog and a few of your other sites, seems like your multi talented. Thanks for the personality, you are what makes Portland the city it is.
Laura

Thanks Laura, let me know when your calender comes out.
I just love the drawing of my face on the window, that was done by a lady named Sarah who works at the Cafe.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

How old I am

This video
is one of my favorite songs when I was 13 or so, no kidding.
I'm not a big fan of reggae but I always liked Stevie Wonder.

first "all ages" Open Mic

Went down swimmingly over at Muddy Waters, two guys, one a poet and the other a stand up, worked the crowd of study hallers with gusto.
It was a tough crowd but they endured.
Next Sat. at 3pm will be "Kids Open Mic" this in an oportunity for young performers to get thier feet wet, I'm thinking my kid may do pretty good too.
I never mentioned it but, my kids have always been well known wherever we go.
As you may imagin, people I don't know call out my name no matter what part of town I'm in, they saw a show or someone told them who the guy on the tall bike is or whatever, they know I'm Dingo.
To my surprize, my kid gets that treatment too, and she isn't in show biz, I don't even use her name in public, someone always yells her name and she waves if she knows them.
She just has a magnetic personality, I think I should let her into the kid act, she would love it.

warning!!!!


It's at the corner if SE 30th and SE Main, a box that looks like a free box full of nice flowery blankets, it's poopy so dont mess with it, I rode by, thought I would sure love to have some nice sheets to impress my girlfriend with, turns out they are poopy,I laughed my head off.
I wonder what (or who)made the mess.
speaking of shipoopy, here the greatest tv comercial EVER!
When I'm down, this is what makes me feel better.

sweet times,it's about time

I'm sitting in the Muddy Waters Coffee house having a morning brew, I'm so happy to be online again.
The box Nathan kicked me down is a pretty lap top, I'm painting it today, and as soon as I turned it on, it already had files of photos of the Clown House taken by Bizzy and friends.
I miss Pinga and Bizzy sometimes, most times I'm just glad we had such good times together.
The Sardiene circus has been staying with us and making lots of phone calls all over the planet, Skye Blue on another phone doing our work and everyone is juggling it seems, it looks like a circus Cape Canaveral with all the action, hussle and bussle.
Question:
The dead beat that lives downstairs hates our noise now, he sometimes fills the house with nausiating crap rock from the 90s but during regular hours, he won't pay his bills and isn't embarassed to be jobbless and kind of a shady, the question is:
Has the bum got the right to complain about noise?
I say yes, I think he is a loser but even though thats true It's not fair to be so loud so late at night, my place was pretty loud with all the circus folk, I left in fact.
I think it's not fair to deadbeats lady friend who I like and respect a lot.
Geoff Marsh was around for some Portland shows too, what a bunch!
Last night I took the three Sardeine circus kids (ages 25, 17, 19 I think) on a Drop Out Bike club ride, it was great so see my favorite people of my favorite American city, riding freak bikes with one of Europes best street performing families, old friends and older friends!
So there ya have it, if you want three out of town friends to join a normal Portland, late night freezing bike ride, on super tall bikes, they better be profesional circus workers to keep up.

I'm still embroiled in a wicked awful, amazing romance with (a plain face) Meghan, we spend every night together is whatever sector of the city we happen to be in, we really dig eachother., thats cool, I like that, a little romance as we wait the two weeks for my S.T.D. tests to come in.
Thats what you get when you decide to be a rock star.
We sleep nude and tangled up in eachother but never have sex, that takes will power.
One problem is my bike, it's 10 feet from my head to the ground and it is as heavy as a small motorcycle, I can't go anywhere near as fast as she can and it's making her cold to go so slow.
I need to find Broadzilla and fix her up, now thats a fast tall bike.
My kids love Meghan, that was the only hurdle she had to jump.
The open mic at Muddy Waters is working so well they gave me another day for the under 21 set.
So under 21 come see me at 3:00 for open mic then at six ya gotta leave because they break the booze out.
I've stopped feeling guilty for being happy.
NOW SOME UTUBE STUFF I'm LOOKING AT.
this is odd...

like RED Dwarf?

i like this video made during the C.H. days

Friday, January 18, 2008

thanks Nathan!


He saved all the data on my lap top and stuck it in another lap top, then delivered it to my door.
Dude you just saved so many old photos that cant be replaced, thanks!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

tonight!

Tonight everyone is welcome for our regular Thursday Night Open Mic. After that we'll continue those Thursday Night Open Mic's but the OLCC says we have to go 21 & over after 6pm. Sorry Guys. : ( The good news is we will now be hosting regular Saturday afternoon Open Mic's for EVERYONE.

Thursday signup at 7pm, show starts at 7:30.
Saturday signup at 3pm, show starts at 3:30
(Soon to come: Spotlight and backdrop.)

2908 SE Belmont

It happened again!

The day after the Max wreck happened I was walking down Hawthorne eating a sandwitch, when a big white step truck side swiped a beer truck BLAMMO!
I dropped to the ground like I was in downtown Kabul at the sound, I'm pretty used to unexpected explosions and the like, I got the hell out of the way without needing to see what the noise was.
I looked in time to see a cascade of glass and metal shotgun a cross walk, if someone had been standing there, it would have been messy.
The truck went around the corner fast and I was on foot, what are the chances? two side swipes in as many days?
I sat down outside Noah's and one of the employees came out, "Hi Dingo whatcha doin?"
"I told him I have become a pro witness to traffic trouble in Ptown.
He gave me a free tea as I sat waiting for the beer truck driver, it was exciting to wonder the drivers reaction.
He came out and was looking to get in his truck.
"hey Mister, is this your rig?"
He looked at me and as usual I forgot I look like a living cartoon and that translated to this fella as "FREEK!"
"Yeah it's my truck, " he looked at me and quickly turned away.
I got a little angry at his "Tude" and lost my benevolent approach...
"Yeah well some hillbilly's just side swiped you baw haw haw!"
He looked at the damage...
"just a mirror or two, he mumbled to himself over the roar of Hawthorne street at 3 pm."
I was gonna give him a discription but he was such an asshole I didn't care anymore.

I'm gonna be on a trading card YAY!!!!

From my extended carnival, family in Texas we are a huge gang thats all over the world by now.

"From the top"
Hello from the 999 EYES
We are making a trading card deck and would love all folks who are or have been a part of the 999 to have their very own card. We are currently gathering permission, photos and up to a 56 word bio.
The cards will be sent out in our cd's one at a time at be true trading cards, no one may ever have a full set...
who knows!
So please send us a YES or a NO on your willingness to be on a 999 EYES trading card!

love you all...

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I saw a truck and max train collision.

I was going to "Outside In" for S.T.D. testing (I was negative for H.I.V.) I was near I-5 when a truck mis judged how far it was in the path of a Max Train.
I was on the other side of the street on my Tall Bike 10 foot or so in the air, I saw the whole thing.
First from my vantage point I did the math and determined that something wasn't gonna fit, then BAM-tinkle-CRASH the first mirror on the train hit the truck and rained glass and metal onto the street.
The driver must have known something was up but may have been helpless to do anything about it, maybe they didn't want to block the intersection.
Bam- crash , bam- crash bam crash all the mirrors and armatures that hang off the train got creamed.
Then SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! as the trains side scraped across the truck and then a few more mirrors.
The train stopped on the other side of the intersection and the truck drove off.
WTF? I took off after him, I went from being amused to pissed off, I like watching things break but hit and run on the Max?
F you buddy, don't think so, He had to have seen me keeping up with him, maybe he was finding a place to pary but eventually he did pull over and I already had his plates.
He may hit and run a bike for all I know, I was mad.
My favorite part was that I got involved even though it was none of my buissness hee hee.

Amazing Pot Luck last Night

Gypsey Geoff Marsh came into town with a hot vixen from California he had gotten a ride with, he called up the Sardiene Circus and some other show biz folk like Leapin Louie and a street busking vet of years, Von and pretty soon Skye Tower was full of circus workers partying, it was grand, a huge feast, some vegan stuff, some veggie dishes and eventually a giant tray or broiled, dead, bird.
I wondered if a particular Vegan would kiss me if I had hunks of chicken flesh dangling from my greasy mandibles, she did.
Did I mention Meghan was there?
She was, I'm spelling her name correctly now...just for fun.
I'm starting a blog as another character, just a hint of things to come.
I have been greatly enjoying the SW sector of Portland, it's as 24 hours as I am, so is Meghan.
I have some band practice in a studio with a huge cast, I don't know what it will sound like but when it's done you will know it's us.
I saw water flash-evaporating off the Justice center roof the other night, the huge lights boiled the cold rain off the glass creating clouds of steam.
All the mist in the dark night lit up in many colors, I love Portland like family.
This was as I was coming downtown from South East, Portland looked like a comic book page, just a day in the life, this place rocks!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

My kid has a job!

R.P.M. needed $20 for a school activity, she came to the right place, between helping me babysit the boy and being Skye Blue's "Junior helper" in the seamstress trade, the kid should have plenty left over.

Sardiene Circus in town for a night or two!

Yeah, they are comming to town from tour to get vehicles registered, they are from England but they like the American West Coast.
Email me if you want a show stopper at your event this weekend.
Thanks so much Megan for finding a place for the circus trucks to park thats off the street.

My email has been killed

The fastclown@veryfast.biz email has been suspendid for a month because I over went my bandwith, that sucks.
If your looking for me try dawgsnax@fastmail.fm

Saturday, January 12, 2008

ok, so I said it...

OK so I said "Give me an excuse Megan" and she did, dig this...
I vacuumed my bed, blankets, carpet and pillows, after two weeks, did laundry (I never do laundry, I just use sock stumps for weeks if left undisturbed) I decreased the beast by about %25, it's an exciting chrysalis, I clean up really nice when provoked.
I have an appointment with the V.D. Doc to get" clearance" on Tuesday. and I hope I pass my tests, I didn't have time to study.
Cleaned my room and burned all the "small clothing" that I had shared with da other wimmins, out of respect for all.
As soon as I opened my windows (Skye's Idea) and vacuumed (also her idea) with a bad ass, dumpstered, machine of hers, my asthma cleared up,go figger.
Its fun to surface into the normal world, very exotic to me (like dating a Zebra).
Don't worry yall I'm no dope, I'm still the same fool, in fact I just blew my bike out by riding the tallest working tall bike in Portland, over the tallest bridge in Portland (thanks to Larson)she was right there with me.
My gig was at 7:00 pm and at 6:49, I was in a laundry mat pulling bedding out of a clothes drier, I made it on time to a nice crowd.
I expect in the next week:
English circus friends visiting (anyone have room for some vans to park?).
More fun with the kids.
some video work, maybe a movie night.
Rock and roll.
Cheers!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Give me an excuse Megan...

I got savaged by an angel after riding Behemoth over the Freemont bridge.
It's true, I'll kiss and tell a bit.
The party ended at her house, I went to the bathroom and when I came out everyone was gone but her.
I'll save the rest, it's not as funny as it is porn with no cameras.
I hope she gives me an excuse to break up with all the married woman I have been dating, the homeless ladies I've been chatting up, the mail order brides I've been consorting with, the mental ward "clients" I've been charming and of corse all the grand M.I.L.F.s I bingo with, no expectations, just some wishcraft.
She is funny AND hot AND good with Marzipan goo,
I think I like her best because she chose me, I was looking for that flag to pop up.
Years ago she wrote a paper bearing my nude image on the cover (taken from a zine cover) she was also our only fan at a gig the big bang circus did at the Fez Ballroom.
I owe it all to Carl Larson for pointing his ex girlfriend at me and firing, then giving us time to shoot bottle rockets at each other, giving my email to her and lastly leading a mob of cyclists onto the freeway and over the biggest bridge in town.
There were some workers in a truck who must have thought we were insane, it's raining, theres traffic flying by and I stuck out like a cowboy clown on a 6 foot bike.
We managed to somehow outrun the radio but it busted my bike up pretty bad.
CARL! YOU ALMOST KILLED ME ON ALL ACCOUNTS!BOTH THE BRIDGE AND THE WOMAN WERE CRAZY AS HELL!
Thank you.
We are working on a second date.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

“ON AND ON” SHOOTING SCHEDULE

Sunday, January 6th
The Someday Lounge (125 NW 5th)

8:00 AM Main Crew Arrival (Jesse, Jason, Erin, Eric, Beau, Christian, Breese.)
begin set-up, focusing on Jason’s speech. Lighting, Curtains, Stage Prep, lighting for audience.

~8:30 AM Coffee and breakfast snacks provided by Backspace
Jason in Make-up and costume.

9:00 AM Jason Rehearsal
-Continue lighting, set-up.

9:30 AM Film Jason on stage: CUs and WSs.

10:30 AM Continue lighting, preparing stage for performance
Shots rehearsal of Doug’s entrance, sitting and CUs (Evan, Jesse, Eric.)

11:00 AM Dingo and Performance Crew arrive
rehearsal and make-up, costumes.
11:30 snake/snake handler arrive

12:00 PM Alyssa arrives.
begin shooting performance.

1:00 PM Nancy and Doug arrive.
sign waivers
break for pizza and beer

1:30 PM Continue shooting performance
including Jason’s intro/ transition to song opening/performance.

2:30 PM Ian and Ben arrive
-Cameras split up.





Continue filming performance rehearsal with Doug, Ian and Ben



prepare chorus girls

3:30 PM Audience arrives
sign waivers
get audience situated
meanwhile, last minute performance Pus.

4:00 PM get audience seated
audience from stage shots
camera B coverage from side(s)

4:30 PM Doug’s Entrance, Jason’s Intro

5:00 PM


Doug’s POV shots
CU Doug shots Chorus girls
Hands (plus Dingo) Any other stage Pus


Bartender arrives
Depending on seating situation, allow some audience members to get up and get drinks.

6:00 PM Clean up/ Wrap Party
each member of audience picks up their own chair and puts it away.

7:00 PM Filming must end by this point (as per Someday Lounge.)


8:00 PM Jazz group comes in
we are invited to stay for the show without paying cover charge.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Hey y'all, wanna be in a rock video?

I got the job of filling a stage with "Exploited characters" for a music video.
I convinced the director to kick down free beer for us.
We already have:
The Stripper,
The Clown who is selling her,
Fabio Nazi
Native american lady with small pox blanket.
Black face singer.
What else is "Exploitive"?
Do you want in?
Call me if you want (dingo@clownhouse.org) to come up with ideas or meet me this Thursday at Muddy Waters Cafe on Belmont SE during the open mic (6:30-7:00).