kid in the dark street.

 Last night I was riding to Eagle Eye tavern. In the dark I noticed a small girl sitting in the middle of the street. It's a backstreet and I remember those times from my own childhood. I swerved way around her. Suddenly she yelled WAIT! "WAIT WAIT WAITCOME BACK" I was like "Nope. I don't need to be a man talking to a random kid in the dark. Then I thought "Maybe she needs an adult. Maybe she is locked out or something is wrong. I rolled my eyes and turned around. "Whats up Kid?" She jumped up. "Are you...Dingo?" I said "YESH! at yer service." She turned to the bushes and said "IT is him!" and four more kids popped out of nowhere. Several of them started telling me at once about me entertaining them over the years. One kid didn't know me. The original girl told him "He knows Olive Rootbeer." LOL If thats my claim to fame I'm great with it.

laughter station

Rymes with "Laughter Station" just kidding.  I have an optomistic running speed and usually a half a smile somewhere in my mug. I don't suffer from "Depression" but depressing things do depress me. TBH This has been the most epoch-smashingly sad times in my recent memory. I lost a huge relationship, huge career, empty nest and with losing the wife she took all my long term relationships (local) with her. I live in a room full of flies and rabbit poop. I didn't start talking to you until I was well over that funk.

I'm still having a great time. I like who i live with, who I work with the dog and even the bunnies. I'm enjoying the giddy feels of liking a girl (I think that she is married but that fact that I'm on board anyway tickles me ever so. She bypassed my security protocols so easily I call her Rascal.) 

The short answer of what I do to cheer myself up is comedy writing. My family have long laughed at me because i will be typing and suddenly roar with laughter. I can easily crack myself up with wordplay satire and prose. In a pinch I can fond cheer in completing something. A sink full of dirty dishes or any project that has a beginning, middle and end.

What do you do to cheer yourself up?

guys duking it out on 92nd. in portland.

So these two dudes duked it out for a while tonight. It's common enough on 92nd. I'm caring only if it comes our way. I learned something. If two people are fighting and niether calls for help then it''s none of my buisness. I'm not about to leave my post anyway. They were engaged in what they call "Mutual combat" Is it legal? Maybe in OR. and WA. They threw down a long time and visited all four corners of the intersection. Respect for the math. Me and the punters watched them pummel one another relentlessly until most of us lost interest. Eventually the ambulance came for the losing party. I don't think anyone called cops. lol In this vid I added a clip of a reptile I live with because it remends me of the fight outcome. The victor beat the other guy with a cunning use of his shirt as a whip. He would whip the other man in the face and then pop into his blind spot with a flurry of punishing gut and head jabs. Over and over again. The other guy's fighting style had more in common with swimming than boxing but to be fair dood had more heart so good on him. b.t.w. I'm only including a small part of the altercation to respect the privacy of the combatants. (Music by Dingo D and the Fraudits)

Doorman clown song by Cassie Starling.

Cassie Starling wrote a song i relate to.

"Doorman Clown" He was a doorman clown If you're feeling down He can help with that frown He'll be your "single serving friend" at the Eagle Eye Tavern Come for the karaoke Stay for the friendly chatter He was a doorman clown Saw him out on the town If you see him around Don't ask him for no more Rubber chicken paintings It's a new chapter If you need a cigarette He might have what you're after "I'm sorry Sir I regret to inform you that There has been An unfortunate Update to your status as a customer" (x2) You better get out quick You're getting 86'd By the doorman clown

bouncer duty

 Bouncy ball

 Tonight a guy told on himself . He mentioned that he had previously got the boot. And then immediatly he was summerily given the boot. Woop woop 86 boing! Upon arriving at work I beheld two fellows and I immediatly thought "These two guys are gonna get bounced". They were pleasant fellows but they had thick "Drunk accents". We still connected right away. I was enjoying thier company very much. Funny thing was we all thought the other two knew one another. We didn't. It just felt that way because we were a "mutual admiration society"  It's also my duty to keep an eye on them so i was glad they were staying close. My hope was that they would have some time to sober up. I suggested they get some food. They bought some jalapino poppers and even shared them with me. Mercy sakes alive, they were DELISH! I was blown away by how good they were. Then I popped my third popper and some white goo spewed out of it all over my clothes. It looked like Seagull shit. LOL worth it. anyhoo...

One of the gentlemen was really showing the "slurs" and some beligerentz so he was cut off. Thankfully he was nice about it and got a water. They ordered more poppers and he sang an awsome rendition of an Alice and Chains song. Thats when the night (for him) took a southernly turn. He went back to the bar and told the barkeep "I'm glad our relationship is back on track." Bartender "What relationship?" Him "We cool now after you threw me out 6 months ago." The bartender quickly remembered him, furrowed brow and told him he needed to leave. I don't know what he did but if she reacted like that, it's enough for me. He laughed but she was not laughing. This dude told on himself HAHAHA! yet he was shocked we were jettisonning him. He started protesting "But i spent money and sang that great song."

The barkeep said "You can exit on your own or i can have my doorman assist you."

I thought "this is gonna be good, she called security." Then i realized I'm the security.

I compassionatly compelled him out the door but he was still steaming mad. Boyhowdy he was hot. Luckily other drunk guy was giving him great advice. "Just call it a night bro. Don't dwell on it. go home and sleep it off." YES! This is why I like these foos.

I had grown fond of Senior 86 so I was shaking his hand and bidding him goodbye and good luck.

He was kind to me but still very angry. He mentioned that maybe it was because of his brown skin. Me and the other guy quickly shut that down.  "Noooo its you dude. Don't go that route. If it was about brown none of us would be here."

Luckily a big crowd showed up and i got to go inside. Mr.86 left.

After I had cleared the group I look outside. I nice car pulled up and a lovely woman walked out. The other guy looked her up and down and said "Damn Man" Her face scrunched up unhappy. 

He started back into the tavern and I said "Hey Homie. Do not speak to that person again. Your comments made her uncomfortable. For reals." 

 He sat 15ft. away from her and i returned to my post (fully expecting to bounce dood in mere moments. 

Mere moments later he walked out looking like a cat that ate the goldfish. Behind him the bartender appeared with some questions. 

"Did you just offer to buy that lady a drink if she sits with you?"

"Yeah."

Me: "Dude I specifically told you not to talk to her."

Bartender: So you disreguarded an instruction from one of our staff? We can't have that. Here is the deal since I already made the drink I'm gonna put it on your tab. This isn't the place to act like that."

He was miffed but he got to stay. I told him "buying a random woman a drink in a bar is like decades old notion don't do that." 

Him "But she was alone."

me. "Maybe she likes alone. It's her choice. If she is interested in you it will be obvious. Your advances come off creepy. If ya wanna find a date, might I suggest online dating or even better, Ask your loved-ones to set ya up. Having a line of accountabillity is helpful. "

He agreed but he was grumpy about having to buy the drink. 

I said "At least ya made a friend!" 

We hugged.