The cleansening!

Last night Olive invited me to shower with her. I bounded in like a puppy but it was a trap. "Sit down, it's time for a scrape." She has tools that she got from a dental supply shop called GI Surplus. "Time for some self care." She told me. I said "But myself doesn't need any care ...especially care that requires medieval tools." She laughed as she put some industrial strength gaff tape on my nose, "This is for "myself" care, yer face stinks, have a seat." So she set off chipping rocks out of my maw like she does every year or so. She never does dishes but she LOVES doing stuff like this. When she was satisfied that she cleared all the debris and popped every zit she ripped the tape off my nose. For the reals it looked different. All the little black dots on my shnoz were gone. It was all on the tape. Word. My nose and mouth feel like they just got sand blasted but it's well worth having a happy wife.

"Skimmed by the Hood"

 "Skimmed by the Hood" I keep visiting this darker part of the rubber chicken realm. I can't wait to see what happens. My brain only gives me one frame at a time. lol This is in Primordialandia where a highly organised crime guild called "The Hood" prey on BBW logistics by robbing and hijacking. Villagers, flora and fauna are often caught in the crossfire. Here the Hood use a distraction to steal a precious, gaseous cargo from the shell reservoir. 20"X16" acrylic on canvas $80-$100. Fresh.

Olive made me some "special" mac n cheese.

We had some pot butter to use. I ate and then painted the craziest stuff while giggling and listening to radio static through a guitar amp. I was impressed and mentioned how I couldn't even taste the buds in the mac. She told me she forgot to add the special to my special mac. Oops. So it was just pasta and cheese themed powder. My wife almost added milk and butter like it says on the box. I quickly stopped her and said "No way! I'm looking for "roomate" style mac n cheese not "Mom's" mac and cheese." We are on a tight budget these days but to keep my rockstar posh cred I paid twice for the box of mac. It was worth it. It was imported from a country called "western family" Bon apatoot!. Pro tip" If ya want your meals to stretch out more, try using chopsticks to eat slippery little pastas. It will make dinner stretch all night long.

"Slumber bunnies"

 Olive's latest painting "Slumber bunnies" 20"x16" acrylic on canvas $100. She loves this painting a lot.

charging Olive's phone

Last week I was out at 3am, in our car, charging Olive's phone for the next day. The neighborhood was blacked out like we were hiding from U-boats. Nobody around. The radio was depressing. Too many horror stories: Lots of iced-up tree limbs crashing down like the dinosaur sized one that fell across the street. I turned it off and then all I could hear was strong wind and trees swaying occasionally, releasing cascades of frozen fun. I opened the sun roof and instantly became an expert at trigonometry. Giant limb above me... chance of surviving TKO... remote. Fortunately "killed by tree" is in my prescribed suitable deaths that I will allow myself. It's up there with "gallant deed," "devoured by sharks/hyena/crocodiles," "death by orgasm" and/or "accidentally shot into space."
I'm in the gravy mode of life. I can step off any time but I do want to at least live long enough to attend my kids' kid's second dog's funeral.

I been posting to Instagram a lot because I got a smartphone.

 I been posting to Instagram a lot because I got a smartphone.Never had one before. Seems I flew too close to the sun because I quickly lost track of it. No screen lock or even phone service. At least it was fully charged and dialed into all my social media. We searched the dark, frozen streets for days. My best case scenario was to find it smashed in the street. That would be better than getting my id jacked. That's why I stopped posting, we never found it in the road but we did have a good time together. I don't care about phones. It's all about the journey. I'm posting now because I just found my phone in a drawer. Will I learn from this? Time will tell. Till then I'm back posting to the instragrahm.

4 cooks in the 90s.

4 cooks in the 90s. Working a restaurant in a smallish town. The leader Red was an expert cook but also an expert at fixing things. Us others were into being chefs and drunks. We were all a couple years younger than Red. He was always amazed we got lots of romance. He loved hearing stories of our "Night befores" We tried to help him. The other two chefs were "clothes guys" they offered to teach him to dress and dance. I offered to teach him how to ask women out. He loved hearing us talk about our dates but said he was waiting for his "camping girlfriend" to come into his life. Red moved to the early morning shift. I only saw him on the time sheets for a while. One day I got scheduled to work a shift with him. I was shocked that he was listening to Rush Limbaugh. I listened for an hour and said "Hey, this guy is a right prick, someone should push him off a ledge. His words were creating victims out of people who weren't victims. He was all about punching down, denying science and pushing a corporate dominance worldview." Red said "I know, I'm just listening to make fun of this idiot" I went back to my shift. After a while we could tell Red resented us. When we worked together he no longer wanted to hear anything about the ladies. I again had to work some mornings a few weeks later. Rush was still on but now Red was all in. He started using words like "Illegals" and "Welfare", he felt his taxes were being used on "Welfare pimps" I asked if he had any luck finding a camping girlfriend but his desires had changed. Now he was saving up for an Asian Mail order wife. "They are so subservient" That made me sick. We missed the old Red so much. Old Red could work with people who spoke Spanish as a first language. That radio voice and his self imposed social isolation created a monster nobody wanted to work with. I saw that play out in others many times but never had a front row seat like with Red. He was a perfect, miserable reflection of manipulative right wing propaganda. It was singing a song he could dance to but it led him down into darkness. Finding out Rush has passed today made me think of Red and his other victims. He created a lot of Aholes that created a lot of misery in families across the nation. I'm glad he is over. Red was laughing the last time I saw him. In an unrelated incident some of us decided it would be funny to put eggs into the mounted moose head. Due to a mishap of miscreant cook communication instead of one of us hiding an egg all of us at different points threw in eggs, ham and everything else we had handy. Soon as the smell started happening the owners had Red pull it down. I was walking out as he was on the bench laughing his head off that so much food was in the moose head. I like to think maybe a camping girlfriend found him and turned him around.

ice storm 2021

 4am 48 hr's ago we had lights for a bit. I was charging batteries Olive walked into the room up from sleeping and said. "I need you to follow me right now." I thought "Ooh someone is in trouble, that's the way she talks when she is about to sic me on somebody. I was wrong. An ice laden tree branch fell, crashing through power-lines. An hour later the lights cut off. It was dark, we didn't know what to do. Should we walk people? No sparks so we chilled out. I asked "Should I make some coffee and watch this thing? Heating coffee wasn't an option so Olive got some snow and made us vodka/blackberry snowcones (she is the Berry girl, I'm no surprised). No fires so we eventually crashed out. I actually liked spending lots opf time without being enveloped in constant electrical fields. The lights just came back on but the train wreck across the street is the same. guess i had nothing to do with the outage.

Pioneer girl got a lot of hoots at the grocery store.

 Pioneer girl Olive Rootbeer got a lot of hoots at the grocery store. 

People were struggling with cars and even walking in the parking lot. 

That's when they all saw Olive and her sled trundling by.  

She must have looked hilarious shopping with a sled in her cart. A worker did that thing where folks suggest we do exactly what we are doing. "You should put your groceries on the sled and walk home." 

She was laughing "Did he think i was taking the sled on a date?" On the way out an unmasked gent offered to help Olive move a cart she wasn't moving. She just wanted his dumb ass out of her face so she said "No thanks." "FINE!" He stormed off.

 she got into the parking lot and got 5-6 families all shouting to each other that they wish they had thought of that. 

After thatI caught Olive mushing herself home. She was covered in sweat and couldn't wait to hit the shower. Thanks for being our hunter gatherer Olive!

Yesterday's huge blackout fun.

 Yesterday's huge blackout fun.

Olive :"Guess we will have to go be together under the covers to keep warm." Such a cuddlebunny. So that was 5 hours of cuddling and telling each other tales of woe and adventure. After a while we started thinking about food. I can survive on old melon rinds and shoe leather but Olive only eats healthy, cooked food. Anything less messes her gutsiz up. We remembered this house has an analog heating system to keep from us from freezing. We can roast weenies and veg on sticks! Olive comes from a long line of frontiersmen and outdoor types. I was so stoked to see her do her mountaingirl thing starting up a fire. She keeps an ax under her bed. This is her time to shine...then the lights came on before she could even make a spark. Same thing happened today only she did get a fire started just in time to see the lights pop back on and our next door neighbor arriving with camp stove heated coffee and tea. We now know that we should acquire a dutch oven at some point. Thanks for trying Mountain girl!

se hawthorne is frigid and desolate

 se hawthorne is frigid and desolate. We just got back from a long walk. Surreal since we have entertained tens of thousands of people in this spot over the years. It was fun kicking clods around and looking at stuff. We love how bright and quiet snow makes everything. The big cell tower at 39th was rocking wildly while howling in the wind.

clear vinyl

 Olive is making masks that have clear vinyl on the front so you can insert art, valentines or human bumper stickers for the world to see. $15 custom fitted, tons of colors and patterns available.

"Tight quarenteenos"

"Tight quarenteenos" This is one of those paintings that I did originally but then Olive over-painted everything I did with a better version save for the purple flowers. On sale $100. This is the only one of our paintings that has actually done a grip of yoga. 20" X 16" acrylic on canvas. (sold)

 

snow patrol

 Last night we noticed some snow that seems to have contracted a gnarly STD. Whats up with that?

"Hoth Style environment"

My latest available 20"X16" acrylic painting.

I'm calling it "Hoth Style environment" I painted everything except Luke Yardwalker's eyes. Olive was taking these pics and suddenly stopped. "I gotta fix these eyes dood, Luke ain't feeling it enough." Took her a few moments to do some vision correction but I'm still calling it a collab. If this is you, tell me what you can do. I hope this goes to a great home. I think this would make a great gift to bestow on a Star Wars fan on May 4th..