Teaching my son how dumb people can be I recounted Halloween 2001.

The tragic event at the Twin Towers had just happened. Totally unrelated we at the Clown House possessed a decommissioned hazmat suit.
I decided to rock it as my Halloween costume and go Trick or Treating. 
Exactly one block away I'm marching around in that hot thing and through the foggy windshield I saw three youths approaching from the mist. 
Yeah all three started working me over with skateboards. I was doubled over. sometimes flailing and attempting to hammer punch. 
Slowly I realized what they were yelling,
 "Fuck you terrorist!" 
Those dummies thought hazmat was a terrorist uniform. I managed to bumrush one into a power pole and they split. "See son, people are stOOpid. And I'm talking about myself. 
I should have known that would happen, If not that, something.
We lived in post 90's North Portland a month after 911" 
It's also possible that the ne'er-do-wels knew exactly who I was and were getting even for some perceived slight or hooliganism on my part.
 If that is the case, Well played young men.
This isn't a sad story. 
I thought the whole thing was hilarious.
 Texans think that kinna crap is funny sometimes. I still had a Corpus Christi accent.
Heads up: Hazmat suit=very good armor vs. skateboard attack.
 Laughing is bad though because I used up too much energy and breath and that's how those pricks got over on me in the first place.

Seriously, I was laughing my head off. I was proud to see our nation's dumbasses rising to the call to protect our country. Had I been a woefully ill-equipped terrorist they would be scoring for our team.