Last night there was a bunch of sporadic automatic gun fire as people were "settling in" to the new Portland.

 My son and I were playing Civ4. He suddenly looked up then we both hit the floor. 
"What is that Dad." I said "That's close sporadic machine gun fire followed by a chorus of screaming and car tires screeching my boy." 
He egressed to the back of the house to alert Olive (who didn't care). 
When he came back I had to inform him that he grew up around gun battles he just never noticed. One time someone riddled the house across the street with a Kalashnikov and he slept right through it. 
I told him not to fear. "Your Texan Dad will protect you from anything and I don't even need a gun. But a good rule of thumb is If you see me or the dog hiding or running away then that's a great cue for you to do the same. 
Also we don't have a dog so that would be you in that roll anyway. 
I turned the cop radio on and hilariously learned that the citizen version comes with ads now. 
I got to hear a jingly Burgerville commercial before finding out nothing.