cookery

I was thinking about cooking with marijuana.
It's better for you than smoking and it's a different kind of effect...more of a body relaxer.
I decided to make Honey Whole Wheat Banana Bread wiff stickystuff innit.
So I came upon a problem...at the moment I didn't have any mary-jane and no prospects of getting any (note:I'm not looking for any now so please don't offer me thnx).
I'm not about to go downtown and ask the local dread locked Farengifor anything so I decided to use carrots in place of the pot in my recipe.
That worked out fine
SOOOOO Fine for an hour after eating the bread it felt just like I had also eaten carrots WOW!

Christian missionaries click here

I just found this video above and it's a really good explanation of what I'm thinking when you are trying to sell me on your religion.
To be honest...I haven't been bugged by that aspect of Christianity in years.
In fact; all the Christians I know these days are way cool and I don't fault anyone for their beliefs, I celebrate mythology, there were a few flood stories, resurrection tales and exodus' all are valuable human keepsakes.
I love going to church with friends and strangers no matter what religion it is.
I love the format and the group therapy and the community service.
It's just a pain in my ass when that stuff gets into daily life or acts like it's science, eeeeeew!
Condoms have a hard time getting endorsed by churches...that's bad.
Blaming any human condition on SIN (such as lust, homosexuality, severe drought, poverty, and herpes)is patently a bad idea.
I also DONT appreciate those fuckers who go into the jungle and "Convert" the lovley tribes into western world.
It's hard to respect people (who's laws disrespect the way I am) who believe so intensly in a story sooooo full of holes.
I get bugged when anyone tries to inflict a religion on me, especially a corporate religion.
Every few feet on the street I'm on someone had dropped hundreds of little colorful papers that say "God Bless You!" I think that's a really creative littering campane...I may steal the idea and drop papers that say "Eat right and exercise".
I wish I had time to write this out better but I'm in a rush to get out the door.
Gotta go get foot creme for my angel see ya later.

photoshop me someplace....

Here is a shot of me doing the "Stunt Banjo" act playing wildly while reclined in a bed of freshly busted glass.
This was taken by 75 year old Jake the alligator man in Long Beach Washington.
I bet if you had photoshop or something like that, you can cut me out and paste me in another background (space, the dump, underwater etc...)
I wish I had photoshop...

Heres my homeboy...well two of my home boys...the one on the left is my homie here in P-town, the other, the little guy one on the right is an undead necrophage called Jake... he is my home boy in Long Beach WA.

Jake took great photos at his birthday...not bad for a 75 year old.
Some of you know the "Bucket act" theres Wendy looking amazing.

Singing with Uncle J.

The old folks showed up early...like five hours early, just kidding, They were nice to me but I bet they were there to see the Burlesque act I was opening for.

Got a sneek peek at a press release for an upcoming show I'm in...

On Thursday, March 26 The Fez Ballroom (316 NW 11th St. Portland, OR
97205) hosts Zappa-Di-Doo-Dada, A Celebration Of The Subversive Genius
Of Frank Zappa.

The event will showcase three one-of-a-kind Portland bands, each of
which share the irreverent sense of humor and better than average chops
of Zappa's bands.

Each band will perform its own unique, original music along with covers
including music from Zappa's challenging repertoire.

Hosting the evening will be Portland's Jester-In-Chief, Dingo The Clown,
who will impersonate Zappa while acting as Master Of Ceremonies.

The three bands (from early to late) will be The Jacob Merlin Band, The
Dead Beetles and Professor Gall.

Jacob Merlin will show Zappa's jazzier side, with sophisticated song
writing and a line up including members pulled from the Portland jazz
scene's A list.

The Dead Beetles, including The Cool Blue Horns, will present Zappa's
eclecticism and R&B roots, with turn on a dime genre swaps and catchy,
quirky originals.

Professor Gall (aka Drew Norman, formerly of The Cow Trippers and The
Sort Ofs) represents the "creepy" side of Zappa. The ensemble seeks to
uncover the contradictions of an ambiguous society,"dreaming the
existentialists' dream, while at the same time pleading for
individualism, peace, and more fun at funerals."

Dingo The Clown has been wowing crowds with his outrageous, mind bending
stunts and comedy, while hosting the Open Mic at The Muddy Waters
coffeehouse on Belmont in Portland.

Local dog likes new stage!

I do too, Aloe was up all night building at Muddy Waters.
As the events (and the space) get bigger we have been needing more room as well as bigger and better stuff.
It's gonna be a grand venue when we are done.

They say there is room for costumes and props and I guess playing cards...

For me...
It started as a stressful weekend dealing with work and family colliding at the same time, in the end it was a family that helped me get to work.
Ever since work was done however...it's been ON! first we prayed together that I would find us all a castle then we danced and had fun for hours.
We have been having a splendid time together...a little sad, I'm enjoying the last months of my little girls kid-dom as she moves into "Tweenager", I'm getting as many hugs and fart jokes in as I can.
The little boy is a challenge but so sweet, I can't wait for him to be old enough to come to work with me.
We are off to the cheap art supply store now.
BYE!

no more Anonymous comments anymore

I don't want any more anonymous comments, the last three were so retarded it's just not funny anymore.
The last one was the most retarded.
I was frustrated about unreliable people and not being able to get a hold of my children and some comment came in that was just soooo off base it was embarassing...I don't have time for that, life is too short to deal with people who won't own what they say.

practicing the "Fishin fer fat guys" routine

We HAD to tie "M" up with a velvet restraint and torment her with a doughnut-stick.
Y'know...to gauge how funny it is...for SCIENCE!







ok...it's funny.