I was gonna say tonight is a good night to monitor the police scanner.

New Years and the 4th of July are always a great mix of entertaining and "OMG why did i think this was a good idea." But that was the old house tradition. We now live in one of the neighborhoods often mentioned on the scanner. We only need to look out the window.

Reminds me of our first place. Once O&I were walking with some groceries when a cop rolled by, then another, then squad cars poured out of every street all lit up. They raced at us from 2 directions. O&I froze in the lights as one screeched to a halt, We blindly stood bolt upright as they scanned us, decided we aren't the droids they are looking for and quickly peeled out. I kissed Olive being glad we got away with that thing we didn't do. We still had to get into our cave and didn't know who they were chasing or where that person is. A fire truck rolled by a couple ambulances and a helicopter. We got inside, flipped the scanner on in time to hear "10-4 Caesar Chavez and Powell are blocked, the only individuals are those people who ride the big bikes ." We looked at one another and gleefuly cheered "we're police scanner famous!" Not our fave venue but still a feather for our clown caps.

I'm having wine tonight. We have a drinking game where we listen to the scanner and drink every time they mention a number. I'm not falling off the wagon, we only have the one bottle.

Traditional Xmas eve at home.

Olive Rootbeer me and the cat. My daughter sent me a present of 80's cereal. So cool I'm never opening that box. Other than that excitment, it's just us two clowns and a cat.

 

Got my second lavage treatment today.

That's when medicos squirt ya in the ear to remove access wax. For a month I had almost no hearing. It’s been bad ever since 2014 but it was manageable. There was always some other pressing issue. Recently it all closed up. Recently Olive’s ears closed up and she had her ears cleaned. It wasn’t a pleasant experience as they had to break up some crystals and get her dizzy with cold peroxide in the ear. She had a terrible time but was still able to get a silent dance party going with the Docs.

She had so much fun we signed me up for a turn. 

To be honest I was enjoying the peacefulness of not noticing everything. The problem was it was painful and the sound I did hear was like a swarm of bees. I’m eager to listen to the music I've been recording while in jester drag. I couldn’t hear very well so most of that is theory and guessing. I got the painful “rock mining” portion of the cleaning done last week. This week they broke through the wall like Geraldo. For 45 min. four fantastic people in scrubs took turns with the water pic and stabby-thingee. The moment they broke through I felt effervescence and then a world of sound rushed in.

They eventually pulled out a huge glob of what looked like Hatshepsut’s booger. They then set upon my other ear to remove the lesser valley of the kings boogers. I was embarrassed and kept muttering “Such a gross state of affairs, I’m so sorry yew folx have ta deal with this nonsense.”

Maybe it wasn’t the most gnarly thing they seen all day but it sure was for me. They had me hold a little trough under my ear to catch the water.

Each time one of the Scrubs took it away it looked NASTY. They were so good to me it was a gift to see them do what they do.

I was looking forward to the water making me dizzy but it never happened but at least i still lost my ID so that isn’t not a thing. I asked why Olive and my ears both got jacked up at the same time. They say it may be our bodies adjusting to the new house microbiology and the stress of moving. My noggin is sore but stable. That was an interesting month of silence.

"Pay someone to enforce a carpool sidewalk."

 "Pay someone to enforce a carpool sidewalk." We were thinking about what we would do with finantial independance. Sometimes clowns stumble into wills and treasures. I don't wanna get thrown off the rails if it does. So what would I do with a windfall? I don't really want any material things. All I could think of to do with extra dough (after all the proper alltruistic contributions of course) is to fund pranks. I would love to sit in a cafe and watch our crew tell folks it's a carpool sidewalk and that they had to piggyback on someone to proceed. Then our Team Jester offers rides for free. There ya go. Instant public service, clowns laugh and everyone gets a great tip including our team's chiropractor."

tbt at taco oclock

  Busy day but we had time to stop for burritos. As I was munching away, behind me I hear a man sit by a vid poker machine. He asked "Is someone here?" The chair was propped backwards. That means occupied. A middle aged black lady had been there and had got up to restroom and get her food. Olive told him it was occupied. The man put money into it anyway. I keep munching and soon the woman returned. She was livid. "Excuse me Sir, That's my machine, I marked it."

The man grumbled and said something to her in Spanish. She said "Don't grumble at me, get up, pull your money." They start arguing. I have my back to them but I was enjoying the Seagull fights...that is until I hear a familiar voice. Olive: "Yeah that was her seat Sir, ya gotta let her have her place."

Then the man told the woman "I'm gonna shoot you in the parking lot." That didn't have the desired effect as now the lady is screaming at him "Oh you gonna shoot me huh?" He was clearly emasculated by her comment yet still added fuel to the fire by putting in more money while looking right at her.

Both Olive and the lady went to the front. The lady was complaining Olive was being supportive...until the lady added "And you need to speak American!" That is a great way to lose Olive support.

The man had several landscaper buddies with him. Anything can happen. I'm watching my food and trying to mow it down in case I gotta run, fight or dodge flying furniture. I will have a great attitude until I lose my lunch. Times like this make me glad to be a Texan. I'm not afraid of anyone who isn't also a Texan.

For now I'm just gonna watch (hear) the show. So the lady was grumpy, so was Olive (conflicted but still right is right) and soon the owner walks in. He is a burly Latino chef with the huge arms and no humor for this. His soft spoken power was way more intimidating than any of the yelling. Now i'm giggling. Quickly the man pulled his money out and slinked away. The lady sat down and warmly thanked Olive for having her back. On the way out Olive had a sour expression like most folks in the taco stand at that point. I sure didn't I was laughing my head off. That was the most entertaining thing that has happened all day. It was also a triumph to see (hear) my partner backing up a woman even when the threat of guns were involved.