Some of my recent Facebook posts.

Don't waste good weed on joints! Roll the brick shwag into Doobies to share with friends. For treating #1 GRIND the GOOD stuff up, then wad a pintch into your nostril, and then carfully sniff a lit match......mmmmmmm smooth.

My GF discovered she likes erotica. I've never met a gal who had such interest before. it's an awkward thing to share. She picked up a dumpstered, VHS copy of"Jungle Vixens(1984)"and asked "Hows does this one end?" I just laughed...I v'e never seen more than the first 10 min. in the 15 years I have had it.

Olive Rootbeer suggested we offer up our bed for auction to help Muddy's collective. I looked at our bed... I thought..."who is gonna bid on a bed that looks like a crime victim?"Anyone need a mattress that is comfy as wet particle board and looks like a litter of Great Danes were born on it? it's the same bed from 199...8 when the Clown House was at Failing and Michigan ave.NE. It smells good AND bad.

Olive Rootbeer just extracted something gooey out of my skull with tweezers. I saved it in my little box of nasty treasures.

Damn! I gotte lead a bike parade in 30 mins, I'm still at the house because I gotta evacuate my bowels before such a trip. Nature is not on my schedule AAAAH! Pray for me that it all comes out alright ok?29th$belmont 28 mins

My coffee was beyond AWFUL this morning. I was crestfallen that my jave tasted like dumpsterjuice.After I woke up a little I was able to follow the trail of clues.. I set my coffee down at 39th st.to phone the bus,I chatted with citezenry, the bus came, i must have picked up the wrong cup. I looked under my lid to see ...a purple lipstick covered cigg butt floating. Now that I know what happened I can now go puke my eyes out.

My partner Olive Rootbeer isn't a smoker...of anything but she told me she once made a pipe out of cheese! She said her friends smoked out of it and in the end the cheese was SMOKED CHEESE and they ate it. That sounds like BULL PUCKEY to this clown...wouldn't you need quite a bit of smoke and time to cure cheese?

I met an ex-con on the bus who gave me a great reason why not to drink cow's milk. The place he was at often sent work crews to local dairys. Lets do the math...convicts who hardly ever get laid spending hours around milking machienes? I don't want that milk in my face!

I was just crossing the street when I spied over the cars a blind woman crossing in the opposite corner. Save for the white stick with red tip she was dressed the same color as the grey wet road. Big roofing trucks were turning in her lane! I didn't know what to do so I yelled "Marco" she didn't yell polo...(sobbing)she didn't yell poloooo.

Classic ironic problem: Must clown to get money to have rotten tooth pulled but how do you clown very well when you need your rotten tooth pulled? I ended up getting my tooth pulled in the morning and eating a lightbulb that night working for a cabaret.