ahhh a moment of clarity

I'm sick,,,real sick, I havent left me bed in two days, even a trip to the bathroom winds my entirly.
I don't know if its systems shutting down or getting better.
I'm lethargic and dizzy, thats not my style at all and I hope it ends soon (one way or another).
I can't tell if it's part because I failed my family and they don't want anything to do with me or the sickness of Gall Attack, but I really dont have the strength to try getting better.
I want it to end.
My friends are very nice, they cook for me and encourage me .
I still have spent hours and hours laying there like a stunned bug waiting to be eaten, my body wont respond but my brain is wide awake, thats a great environment for thinking too much.
I keep breathing and trying to keep my thoughts in the here and now.