I have a weapon

David, the guy who lives in the basement) has taken my muddy old banjo and took it apart.
He spent hours cleaning and replacing all the bits and eventually handed me a banjo I almost didn't recognize.
The man put a weapon of comedy in my hand and I'm grateful.
People are being so nice to me.
Thats so unfair, I'm a real shmit head to everyone else.
There are some crack heads arguing in the alley so I took some
peanuts and wrapped them in plastic, I then out on a loose pair of pants and let them drop as I passed them on a tall bike.
One grabbed the bait and ran off, the other gave chase.
I hope they end up in front of a restraunt I can't afford before they realize my ruse.
See I'm a jerk.