AAAAH sports!

I'm still up at 9 am, I'm on the coffee and waiting for the pet food store to open so I can feed the old doggie.
I gots the TV on and a football game popped on, I sat there slack jawed, amazed that anyone cares about such a pointless battle.
At times like this I say a prayer to my ancestors, activating the records portion of my brain and entering a room with "Everything about everything for all time past present and future, infinitely big and infinitely small, always" carved on a small wooden book.
I opened the book and it was reveled that in the first days of Olympic sports in old Greece, any modification to the body that could help gain speed, strength, stamina,would have been encouraged by officials.
Maybe the sports could be more interesting to dopes like me if it both meant something and was cool to look at.
Howzabout if it was required that football players be on performance enhancing drugs.
More football players should be allowed baseball bats, Tennis players should have a bow and arrow option (to soften up the other side a bit)
Maybe Bionic/Darth Vader es c Steroidabominations playing for causes that benifit society, one country's team could play another to forgive a national debt. It could be a way to get years taken off a prison sentence.
Another team could be playing to keep it's corporation on top.
Back biting, action, drama ...I'm entertained.