Dog Mouth

Hello, this is Chlorine Enema Jones, sitting in for Dingo, who is currently in-de-sposed (well, actually, he is in-de-shower, so he is in-de-cent, but anywayy...)
I just couldn't wait to tell you all about what has been in the dog's mouth, today!
First thing this morning, I let Banjo out to pee, and while she was out there, she ate a cat poop, which she promptly came back in and puked up on the couch. IT WAS AWESOME!
Then, during the day, she got in a couple of good licking sessions: see, if you have Athlete's Foot, you should come over to the Clown House, cuz Miss Banjo just LOVES to lick smelly, infected foot flesh, especially if it has been inside of a boot for a real long time. Our roommate has athlete's foot on one of her feet, so Banjo just licks that one, but Dingo has it on BOTH feet, so that doggie gives him long foot sessions, that can last up to a half hour. It tickles a lot, and Dingo giggles. (He trained himself to endure it, cuz it works better than Tanactin, for killing the bacteria)
Pepto has athlete's butt (long story, tell ya later), and so I don't even want to KNOW what happens when he takes the dog in his room, and you hear sqealing, girlish giggles coming out of there.
She also likes to lick people on the face, and some people even let her!
Another thing that happened today, was a mysterious pair of underpants, which appeared in the bathroom trashcan. A couple of us were wondering where they came from... Also in that trashcan, was this great big, long tangle of greasy hair I pulled out of the bathtub drain yesterday.
So I want in the bathroom this evening, and the dog had gotten in the garbage. The mystery undies, and the oily, fuzzy dreadlock, along with snotty tissues, used q-tips, and a couple of popsicle sticks, were scattered on the floor, and looking rather chewed.
When I told Dingo about it, he said, "What a good dog."