Movie review

Lord of the Rings, Return of the king,
Synopsis: short folks with hairy feet living in what I can only guess is the bronze age, deal with addiction issues and domestic, civil and national violence. Hilarity ensues when the ring is tossed into a volcano.
BOY did they mess up a lot of elephants in this movie let me tell ya.
I saw a lot of elephants hurt when I was in the big corporate circus many years ago.
So I'm really sensitive to people hurting the pachaderms.
Also the movie didn't have the special features I wanted to see such as:
All castles after the end of battles should have had thorough inspections for foundation and structural integrity.
10 thousand orcs not killed at the end will face displacement woes and will not easily integrate back into society.
Thousands of animals and monsters were killed, Middle earth I.D.A.?
Thousands of orcs, humans, elves, dwarves and other beings were killed, would it take months to find, identify and bury all these people? Will Haliburton get a no bid contract to rebuild mordor?
How about the survivors of the epic battles, I wonder if they will be suffering post traumatic stress and who will deal with the cost of analysis and treatment? I did notice that all the minority's were still white people, just differently shaped, I guess back then there were no brothas or homies or anyone who wasn't white.
I'm not complaining friends, only reporting.
The little person who was a ring addict, did he have withdrawal symptoms?
How about the Golem/ American that was treated as if it's addiction was a crime?
I love movies with swords and monsters. I really liked the monsters in this movie, especially when they were using catapults and trebuchets, the images of the crushing blows scared Caffeine almost out of her pregnant hahaha! Just kidding,
The orcs were great, they sounded like English death metal singers but walked like armor plated Maori fishermen.
I love that Iron Maiden lent Peter Jackson so many of it's members and crew to play the long haired warriors, I turned the sound off during those parts and blasted the album Powerslave.
The elf woman who decided to be mortal so she could die with the human, well she got sick as Hell soon as she became mortal and I don't remember if she died or not, regardless she was one high maintenance chick.
lessons I learned from the movie: 1. Sometimes a treasure becomes more of a pain in the ass and less of an enrichment (like the Clown House). 2. Don't conversate with people who are glowing. 3. Any time I try to watch a movie on the big couch, the dog will lay near me and by the time the movie is half over she will have shoved me off or we will have gotten into a brawl (thats why I missed the needy elf gal all cryin and stuff)..