Fun clown trick: If you need help at a grocery store but can't find an employee, go to the condom section and look at the security camera.

Fun clown trick: If you need help at a grocery store but can't find an employee, go to the condom section and look at the security camera.
 Folks don't normally shop by looking at all the cameras. It get's their attention.
 Condoms are one of the most shoplifted items. 
They are watching that aisle. Someone will ask you if you need help really quickly. 
Then you get to take a long walk with them to whatever part of the store you were really trying to find something in. 
:) I do this all the time.

also if you are in clown drag a
t the grocery store, they won't search you even if the electronic theft alarms go off. Eric Bang showed me this amazing trick when he sewed a magnetic theft strip (from a book) into his clown clothes. Then filled his pockets with sex toys and clown props yet couldn't get searched no matter how many bells were ringing. 
Presumably this because no employee gets paid enough to have "strip search clown" in the job duties.

oliveanddingo.com

The second woman to ever ride my bike is also the first.

My bike recently got a handlebar upgrade.

While getting used to it, we dropped in on our Friend Rauchelle.

Her kids got to cheer her on as she mounted and rode my bike again!

Well played.

This is how you ride my bike like a boss!

burning a bit of sage.

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Spit on by a guy shooting blanks.

Spit on by a guy shooting blanks.
We had a much needed huge show today at Hammer and Jacks.
Our last three gigs were duds so we needed the flow. Also as we rode around we were getting mad love from all the citizenry and stuff.

We kept hearing the word "Iconic" in reference to us. People stopped us for hugs and to introduce us to grandmas and such.
Lots of love, honking and waving. That always makes me wait for the other shoe to drop.
We know that when that many people are positively reacting to us then there will be a small percentage that will react really badly to us.
Then it happened.
A guy in the passengers side of a beat up old truck tried to spit on me as he passed.
But when the moment of truth came, he had no spittle to spit HAHAHAHA!
Nice try ya Dingdong. I howled at him laughing.
Our eyes met and I quickly observed he was all the bang but no fireworks.
He caught me slippin' but was shooting blanks HAWHAW!

We then rolled down a side street.
Three ladies were parked in the lane looking at phones. A
s we came up on the car, we could see and hear then thru their sunroof.
One of the ladies said "Ya need to pull over so the cyclists can get through."
We heard the driver say "They shouldn't be in the street anyway, bicycles belong on the bike trails."
What a rube.
:)
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"We're outta here! Let's go Bitches!"

Well, we were 15 min. early for our gig. 
Then we crossed paths with this thing and ended up being 10 min. late. Good call on Olive's part insisting we circumnavigate. 

I didn't mind being slowed down by the train. It's very fun for me to see all the other cyclists pooling at the gate looking concerned and also late for things. We saw the end of the train but just before it got to us, it stopped.

 HAHAHA! Olive said "We're outta here! Let's go Bitches!" 

She always calls me "bitches" it's a throwback from her high school days as a basket ball power player. Other cyclists must of heard her because after we were under way I noticed others decided to follow us. 
We rolled about 10 blocks to get around the train and at Powell street we saw the train still blocking everything. 
Good call Olive.

pics Olive took

like what we do?

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We like interrupting the hard hats.

Today we were dropping coloring books off at Microcosm publishing.
While riding on Williams street we were slowed to a crawl by a construction project.
I glanced over and saw 10 or so Hard Hats all smiling ear to ear at me.
The only one without the orange vest told me "Very good. You made me smile today."
Then the man next to him nodded saying "It's a big deal, he hates everyone."
That's when Mister Clean jeans turned to his colleague and said
"Jason. What are you doing Jason?"
Jason: "the bolts"
"Then keep assembling the-"
by then, I had rolled past so I don't know what happened to Jason or the bolts.
We will rebuild.

I ate about a pound of mostly cooked human placenta the day my kid was born.

I ate about a pound of mostly cooked human placenta the day my kid was born.
It was perfect energy boost food for humans. Just the right amount of nutrition paired with frikkin nasty.
It was great because I was crushing it with the chef skills but it was also the gift that keeps on giving since I can bring it up at the table every Thanksgiving. "I ate afterbirth...any questions? No?"