amazing days

My life recently is a roller coaster, both emotional and mental.
I wish I could say this is new but it is all I know and have known.
It's not easy to do what I do, but sometimes it's so worth it,
other times I want to shoot myself with a rubber pistola.
On the 5th I spent the whole of it, hardly leaving my office.
Bona Roo was still here from the night before so I was lucky enough to
enjoy her and Merica over and over agian, stopping only to
change the music and to wipe the burning sweat from my eyes.
The only work I did was painting a commision piece (I'm half done with it, looks great).
I cooled off by riding my tall bike and chasing my children up trees.
In all accounts it was Dingo paradise, I felt blessed.
I thanked my version of God for the healthy family, great crew and of course a big thanks for giving me that kind of stamina.
Then the next day, I wake up to screaming kids, The landlord (nice guy but still stress)
problems with other shows, dealing with our crew and a crappy article about me in the Mercury,
all under the stress of the looming Gentri-vacation we are all about to take.
I was doing damage control with My tshirt contact (Micheal) and Caffeine while holding a wiggling, hollering, bored, baby and wondered aloud "What Happened?"
I do way more work than fun, it's like being on the clock all the time, I'm looking
forward to getting to where we are going so I can have at least as many fun days as crum days.

G.R.A.S.S. Generally Ridable And Somewhat Safe

Thats what I callour bikes that work,Grass Bikes, they are safe to ride as opposed to the other stuff that is too dangerous, we give the nasty stuff to the drunk jocks to kill themselves on.
Speaking of grass, I just saw the biggest, stankyest, single person driven lawnmower I have ever seen in my life.
It's honkin huge!
I'm looking out the window on the morning of a home gig.
The dude showed up in a giant truck (empty) and a giant trailer (almost empty) and he took that big nasty thing down, cranked it on and let it be loud and stinky for 10 min.
Satisfied that he had helped me lose the desire to include humans in my whole “Save the World” plan, he re-loaded it and drove off.
What a chump, he just pulled up, added some poison and noise to the air and left, I wanna chase him down. I feel sorry for him being raised so poorly in that regard (me too), he has his job and I bet he has some nice stuff, maybe some offspring and an ex he still gets along with.
The big picture is that our death is part of his industry (it's all connected)
It must sound silly to the normal Ugly American but when I see a lawn mower, a grassy lawn, a person mowing a lawn and especially someone insisting I have a lawn, or take care of one, I see red.
A pointless crop and poison to groom it just fills me with rage.
Am I just mad at something else but blaming the seemingly harmless grass?
No,I'm mad at something else AND I hate grass.
I have a healthy sense of outrage about a lot of things, logging trucks, fish farms, Mormons, corrupt government, clear cut forests, schools teaching crap, pill pushers and health care crooks, thats just off the top of my head.
My parents got Newsweek when I was a real little, I could read pretty good then so I got it.
I remember being in third grade or so and being upset that the Prime Minister of Egypt was assassinated so close to Carters peace accord. being finalized.
I want to fix it all, I want to dry tears and restore clean air, water and sky but I still must ask...why.
Why do I care?
We seem to be a natural conclusion to this run of life on the planet, we have been here only a flash in a pan as far as our little class M planet is concerned.
The earth used to look like we had just blown it up, nature will survive and do better for it as after the Devonian era.
So why save the Earth?
For the dogs, frogs, children and all other karma free entities who depend on people like me to notice.
I can't save my own little hunk of the planet with a bunch of anger hear gotta stay calm and see clear.
One way I keep a cool head is to notice those standing with me and protect them, I also try and find punch lines for things that horrify me.
If you mow your lawn or care about it, don't think I'm gonna judge you, I'm an idiot too.
I used to keep crab lice as pets, how about crab grass?

4th

Well I got flaked on for the big fireworks photo shoot, I half expected it.
We had a yard full of people but none of them were the ones I needed, except of course Merica the clown (Caffeine) and super wonderful Bona Roo.
We had more than plenty of fun.
Photos by Bizzy Bawdy,It was Merica's birthday and boy did she get a present to unwrap!

Bona Roo getting ready for a tall bike ride.

I like doing controlled, Spinning out of controls.

Merica and Bona Roo

The Portland Mercury

Yay!
Laurie from the Portland Mercury called the house yesterday asking if she can take some photos of us for the next issue.
She said she didn't know what they wanted so she would have to get back to me.
She called back and said that her editor just wanted some shots of fun being had.
Lucky for all of us we were already having fun.
I told her that we don't work for free and she would need to bring tribute if she wants any shots of us.
She delivered!


She brought us matches, old calenders, a sticker, two beers (i don't drink but i do bribe) and four oven mitts!
I'm sold!
As some of you know, our show has found the plague of romance that has rendered some of our people useless if not obsolete.
When it came time for the shoot, none of my people were per paired and Caff had a screaming baby to contend with.
As it happened the yard had attracted a few attractive ladies who were hanging out being attractive.
I asked them to join me by rolling around on stupid bikes while I played a song called "Corn Nut Breath."
It was so lovely, doing the shot with them and then eventually doing some tricks with Banjo Dog and Caffeine Jones.
I asked the ladies if they would come back on the fourth so I can paint cave drawings on their butts. Romance don't have to ruin your career, it can punctuate it.
They more than accepted my indecent proposal, Caff is pretty amused and I think I can count on Bizzy Bawdy to take the still photos.
She took the pics above and a lot of the ones on this site.

My favorite part about the shwag the Portland Mercury sent us is the oven mitts, boy did it suck making out Dawg Snax wheat free dog treats without mitts, it's been two years!!!!

I just lifted the lid off a pot on the kitchen counter and was befunked on the floor.
That stuff STUNK!
We are cleaning out the Clown House to give it back to the guy who owned it and finding old skeletons in closets.
To tell the truth I didn't know if I should toss it or what.
Y'see there are people from other countries (Like Brazil or Chicago)and what I consider a festering pot of bacteria and plague in their country may be a delicacy.
I left it and soon Caff picked it up and moved the lid, she ate some so I guess she is just into foreign food.
I have been taking down all the artwork from the walls and cleaning them, it's fun to peel back layers of fun the house has seen.
Last night I was hanging out with a photographer and a reporter, at one point the reporter and I went on the roof and looked at the skyline of Alberta Street, I'm gonna miss this place.
Hey! Any of yous guys have an extra paint roller or two?

Bizzy Bawdy Killer cheerleader

'Merica beating me at jello slurp

The cops and the neighborhood people had shut us down early during the Last Thursday Art walk.
We are loud and we stir up huge crowds as well as blow stuff up, they always want us shut down first these days.
We clowns just lost a lot of income so what do we do? Cry?
Don't think so buddy, things always work out for us, I relaxed.
We went inside to entertain ourselves with a nice game of Jello Slurp.
Will Workforf Ood was the "ref" or as we call him in Jello Slurp "A Bastard".
'Merica is a champ sucker so she gave me a head start.

She quickly overtook me with her straw of steel (made of plastic, not straw).
The jello had been made by our 8 year old so it didn't have enough water in the mix.
I think it also may have been flavored with back medication.
I almost won by default as 'Merica got so close to puking she could just taste it.

I had been doing stunts and comedy for hours and I don't like Jello, 'Merica beat me fair and square.
I really tried to win, you can see I rubbed my nose raw on the pie tin.

Merica was a good sport and only gloated about her win for a couple of years.