Ice age rubber chicken,hunted to extinction

My "World historical rubber chicken" set of paintings is up at Zaytoon on Alberta street, Aisha Caffeine and I spent a half hour insalling the 10 or so paintings. The whole set up looks so clean man, I got the shivers over how cool it looked. I also had a nice time getting to know my neighbor Aisha. She made up a bunch of cards like the one pictured here and had them available to the people, she is the real deal and a class act.
Zaytoons is just down the street from the clown house, it's a restraunt and a bar, I like both the menu, house paintings and the owner. They showMovies too.

Three guys came to look at the room for rent over two hours today and I liked them all. They all had the aire of having their sh8t together, they all had plenty of money, helpful attitudes and I purposely let them walk behind me on the tour to see if they would shut the door behind them, they all did.
The house thrives and is most effective when the people in it are into the hive thing, or at least having mind of others, these guys are mature (one is in his 50s) I think we got lucky.
I'm praying that the welding gas fairy come soon, I got the "Post apocalyptic bike weaponry exhibit" Dec. 7th and we are out of gas to forge implements of destruction like axes made of bike frame tubing and sprockets. Some of the stuff isn't made of bike parts but those would still take out a car... Um in a post apocalyptic environment or maybe an ice age.
Toaster and I were working on the Rock Shock,flatbed,tallbike trailer and turning it into a howitzer (that's a big gun on wheels) that shoots...Say tennis balls or whatever really fast for the exhibit.
I'm gonna be real careful about keeping all the weapons disarmed and locked down through the whole gig. If it's going badly I'll hire a bouncer to keep ME away from the weapons, just kidding...I wouldn't hire anyone capable of keeping me away from weapons.


Wish list: calking, acrylic paint, band members (for Pepto Dizmal Clownarchy) and enough bike chain for a tandem bike.

Jonny D.

If you know him, then ya know him, if ya dont then you havent yet, most folks know him.

Don't forget!!!

top 5 things that I don't know why exist

#5. Gogurt: just like yogurt, but with chemicals, sugar, a high dollar ad campaign, and tons of over packaging. This junk must play well to folks with kids being raised by televisions.
#4. Pubic hair: is nature trying to evolve us underwear? My zipper is leading a heroic battle to un-evolve it.
#3. Bass guitars with more than four strings: the only person that would ever use a bass like that would be Lester Claypool. When I see people with them, they play ballads or repetitive droning songs that could be just as well played with one string.
#2. Anything made in China (or sold at Wallmart, for that matter): it's cheap, but they may as well just say "Single Use" or "Disposable" on the box. "Made in China," to me, is more of a warning than a label.
Around here, we call that stuff "China sport."
#1. Fake pockets.

Denmark next year?

still trying to figger out where to go from Portland, at least to visit. Denmark seems to have a lot of things I like going on, I just bet those people will be speaking a foreign language when we get there.
I love the idea of touring around Portland, doing guerilla shows off the backs of Tall bikes and other monsters we have created.
I'm having an art opening on Thursday. It's at a bar called Zaytoons a few blocks over. The lady who owns it is really (I mean really) cool and is letting me put up my "History of the rubber chicken" instillation. I sure hope they all sell to people who need them as much as I like the money.
I'm told by my friends to sell the art at inflated prices because it's in one of the new restraunts that moved in and because my art will be hanging in a place I couldn't afford to eat in.
I've never looked at the menu, for all I know it's plenty affordable, I just assumed that because the toilet is from this century and the building is level that I wouldn't have the cash to eat there.
I made sure that anyone can afford my work and the biggest painting (The big Bang) is getting sold by the pound.
Now I feel lower than the volume on dads porno movies for not finding the time to eat at Zaytoons.
I'm a little skiddish now days, In June I tried to be a good neighbor and have a meal in one of the new places and got sick, not just because they took a splendid fish from the sea and then further insulted it by battering it and deep frying it...Ok it was because they deep fried it.
this is my artist statement for the chicken show.
I was contemplating one of the many rubber chickens that live here
at the Clown House. I decided that they were the perfect punch line
that never really needs a joke. I also noticed that, throughout
time,
history repeats itself like a drunken compact disk that's been
laying in
the street for a week. So, in an attempt to enlighten and entertain
the
masses (and get my banjo fixed...The instrument, the pooch is
already
fixed), I have painted many chickens.

It is my belief that everyone should be able to afford my art, so the
sticker price is the lowest possible for my time, talent, ideas, and
materials. If you can do better, lay it on me, and perhaps by this time
next year we could have a bike-powered roller coaster in the yard, or a
giant play structure made of bike frames...Or we may just use the money
for more rubber chickens.

Room open,

EWWW drama, it seems some of our roommates decided to split when we told them in a letter that we were sick of drunken fighting in the clown house.
Lynn, Caff and I told them before that we were sick of dealing with drunk jerks, this time we wrote a letter because it sucks talking to someone who has gotten stupid drunk and wont remember what you said anyway.
They chose to mail their kid back south and I guess find a new place to be drunks. It sucks that they chose booze over a community that likes them and was willing to help them out.
I can't tell if it's disloyalty or just laziness that made them decide to leave the week before rent is due instead of working it out or just quitting the booze until they get a place they can drink themselves stupid in without getting blood on our floors. Boy will that kid be pissed off when he gets older and finds out that he could have lived and gone to school in a house full of clowns.
We have the home school here at the clown house and it's so crappy to have other kids parents, or the land lord come in and see a front porch full of malt liquor cans that have holes punched in the top for quicker retardation.
Dude was fired from his band for drunken drama , so far they still seem to think everybody is against them, no accountability
So, room opening here for the end of this month.
no drunks, perps or bums. 350 a month, big windows, gigantic room, ground floor,big yard, free food delivered weekly and access to internet and heating.
anyone who has the rent and 410 deposit that mentions this blog automatically gets the room, just kidding.
Tiago?

traveling dignitaries

The loveley Captain Insano just got back from visiting our friends down south in California. There is now talk of a tour next spring or summer for us and them. It would be good to get out of Portland for a bit and lose some of this exess responsability. I like only having to worry about doing a great show, the other stuff like rent and drunks should be somebody elses problem for a while.
Still it's a long time off from now.
I was glad to know thet Cyclecide had herd about our troubles here and had seen our movie of clown shorts. And Captain Insano got gifted a real nice bike.
Look at the site, it's an idea of what kind of shinnannagins we were up to when we were interupted by city government.
I still havent gotten word from the city about if we passed an insection or not, I sure wish they would have spoken to us more, our place is almost blank, it's making the trash in the nieghbors houses stick out.I havent made any new weapons latley and we still havent gotten food stamps.
Big BBQ when we do, stay tuned.