Sorrowful day at camp O&D .

We knew it was coming. Our son packed his room up and today we took him to his Mom's. Because of Covid19 he can't return for a while.

We had 6 glorious months to be full time P's. Now, understandably he misses the other place. It's not just the change of address that has us bummed. Last night he ended his childhood with us as we cleaned his room. We found all his outgrown clothes, toys, bed, he can't even stand up in his attic room. He was confused that Olive and I were choking up and crying so much. I had to retreat to punk music to drown out that Beatles song "She's leaving home" and "lonesome town"playing in my head.

He doesn't remember the custody battle and the long stints that the coparent didn't share the kids. That is part of why we have shallow scars in that regard. The rest of our sorrow is good old sentimental sap. Our little guy is a big guy. He has to fly away in order to jell what he has learned from us. We said we would distance visit him every week but coP said not to hold our breath for that one. We dropped him off and silently rode back to our side of town.

It's hard walking by his room. It's littered with his little kid clothes and toys. I keep going in and smelling his old clothes and crying, just like I did when my daughter flew the coop. We sobbed a bunch together, congratulated one another for parenting so well, made a plan to never let go and then we took a shower.

At he beginning of our relationship Olive and I never had a fist kiss, we had a first shower. It's still the place were we have meetings, plan shows and do all the O&D stuff. This morning we ritually washed ourselves. We ceremonially cleansed eachother of the responsibility of taking agency over his daily life. Being hardwired to look after him is not going to unscrew easily but this is a good start. We had to accept that we are back to being his emotional and moral support.

We paid child support the whole time he lived with us. We got a little bit back. We will continue to do that of course. Good luck this Fall Bruce Angus!

Tough day. We also found out Covid has infected the house of close family and our biggest fan in the UK passed away as well. We may need another shower.