I tried to get my used car seller character down but I suck at it.

 I know too much to be any fun. "Thanks for looking at this fine automobile Friend, before we start I must warn you that every drop of gas you buy for this car will go to the MOST profitable industry in the world, They buy crooked lobbyists and politicians, steal counties and poison land the and water...yet somehow get whopping subsidies from our country! Maybe you should find a job closer to home for less money rather than letting your hard earned gold go to the forces giving our planet roughly the same climate as the planet Mercury." See that's no way to start a friendship