I get to see such wonderful people every day,

and for every jerk who is trying to make my life miserable, there are at least three people lending a hand to help me make the world a better place.
I met the biggest jerk in Portland and the biggest jerk in Seattle in the same few days last week wow!
I told my friend I wouldn't say much about the Seattle butthole so I won't.
The Portland knucklehead (I don't mind saying) is making it bad for people with real problems, dividing the community and being a bully to everyone.
The Seattle moron is just a washed up booking agent with a chip on his shoulder and NO way back up, this is the kind of washed up I'm aiming to avoid in my life (glad I quit drinking).
In Portland there is a lady with a dog who was down with me just fine until I noticed that trouble and strife were never far from her, I thought "why is everyone always picking fights with this poor soul"...BOY WAS I WRONG!
This dipshit picks fights for a living!
She fooled me and brought down the whole Open Mic audience the other week.
I thought she had a howling dog act, turns out is was just a ruse to get on stage an spread hatred, rumors and discord.
She picks fights in the hopes that her victims will blurt out anything discriminatory so she can sue them WHAT a bully!

Turns out she has a long history of harassing people for fun and profit, the pattern is very clear.
The cafe people were getting sick of her starting so much trouble so they 86ed her.
They know that she makes a living suing people so they were careful, somehow it ended up being me that got to tell her about it.
She is roaming around accusing folks of being drug dealers and acting in ways that in my home town in Texas she would by now, have had her leg hacked open with a machete and she would bleed out in the sand...I'm from the "LAND of ASSHOLES" so to me she is but a pip-squeek A-hole compared to Texas.
She has been hassling my two friends so much they are leaving the neighborhood, they didn't do anything to her but make her jealous, that sucks, one is a great writer and the other a good booking agent.
I told them that if they ignore her (like I am) she will burn all of her friends out in no time and end up bothering people in another neighborhood.
I had a dream this morning, thats why I'm writing about this, normally I wouldn't give it any attention.
In my dream, I was on a tall building roof top, Y'know those Coin op-lookout posts that you drop a few coins in and get to see far and wide?
In my dream it was a coin operated assault rifle welded to a pole.
I was laughing in my dream because I had a shirt on that said, "I shot two assholes and all i got was this stupid T-Shirt."
I saw the Seattle booking agent and the dog lady in a window having sex and got ready to squeeze off one bullet...
Then I heard a voice...
It was Obie-Wan from Star Wars speaking in a ghostly hiss...
"Luke!"
"I'm not Luke dude, try another person's dream..."
"Dingoooooo, don't do it, it's the dark side...stay in the light!"
"Dude, shut up, not only are you fictional, but your character is long dead, get lost, I won't get another chance like this because the weapon is glued to the building."
"If you attack, become them you will."
"Hey! did you steal that line from Yoda?"
I woke up groggy and disoriented, looked up and saw a vision, both A-holes I had to deal with are looking at life on earth as a very lonely existence...I pity them.
I tried to get back to sleep because it was 6 am.

I guess I was dreaming about my partner Olive...
We were Gods on a distant time and planet, we were making love!
She made herself into a dolphin that swam right at me so I turned myself into a wave that envelopes her, she counters me by becoming a giant lion who shakes her mane dispersing my water, then I become rain.
It was an amazing dream and I could have gone on like that for a long time but it turned Out I was awake and so was my mate, I was interpreting what was really happening.
In the end I have great friends and family all over Portland and there's no way I'm letting the worlds predators get over on me.
For me, the last step in undoing a troublesome encounter is writing it down.
I hope you have a non-violent way to disperse your lepers!
I hope you get to make love like a titans too!