Holy shmidt, I just got back from the coolest day, a picnik in the park with five friends, Micheal asked a gal out and got three altogether, and a ferret, good weather, cheese, crackers, tallbikes, fans, fun.
We have been mobbing out on tall bikes and going on elaborate clown style outings.
SWEET time to be a clown in Portland!
OK so when I visit a public mens room I do my biddness without touching my junk
Just a quick tug on my top button, thats all it takes.
I don't like to waste water when I don't have to so I rarely wash my hands.
Iv'e gone months and years criss crossing across this great country without ever washing anything and did fine.
People make too big a deal about that stuff, anti bactierial soaps create super bugs F that, IT'S MADDNESS!
That said, I went into a grocery store mens room today...I wasn't alone.
Another chap had just finished pissing all over his shoe, he was about my age.
A homeless guy was in there and a dad with kid.
Somehow "shoe pisser" didn't leave until I was done, he didn't wash his hands, nore did I.
As we left the little kid said loudly to his dad,
"Papah, those men didn't wash der hands!"
Shoe Pisser ran out with his head down and I laughed out loud and pointed at the bum, "Bet that fool isn't washing anything either."
The dad was really impressed, I could tell by the way he was keeping from smashing my mouthy head in the door.
Shoe pisser and I didn't think we would ever see each other again, but we did!
I walked around a rack or two, down a hall, round a corner and bumped face to face with him.
We looked at each other uncomfortably and seemed to both think,"There's the dude who didn't wash his hands."
THE START OF A NEW SEASON!
Springtime means the start of another circus season.
Yup we are creating new clowns, it's harder than you think, still very fun.
Our plan is to have fun of course, but also to make a living and fix world problems with comedy and gross stunts.
We also have a waesle for a mascot, a little fella called "Bucket".
In anticipation of the arriving flock of traveling circus workers, I have made painfuly clearing motions in my life.
Like we do every season, a core group of Clownarchists get together, decide what the name of that year's show would be, how to divide the money and update the secret hand shake (we stuck with "Dingo Dizmal and the Blood Suger Circus") we will drop my name from the title once you guys get to know who the new players are.
We came up with a sweet, vulgar secret handshake and created a circus government (shmanarchy).
Thank goddess the cavalry has arrived, Micheal got in from Texas, Skye got back focused on the gang and now we have Katie,
Of course it's funny that she broke her arm the first day of being a circus worker, falling off a tall bike!
She has decided that it's worth it, she will be at the Muddy Waters open mic tonight, when you see her cast, you will know why, thanks for reading my blog.
there are also a bunch of folks who are regulars at the Muddy Waters Coffee House, open mic that will be joining us and some other people you don't know yet who will be kicking ass on the music end.
I hope you understand that I cant show you all the stuff untill the gumbo is done simmering.
Skye and I worked out my family history and decided that if i meet a black girl, fall in love and have a baby, it would be 100% Cajun.
I hate living in the swamp , i got scars from living up and down Highway 10 for six years, i wouldn't mind a date with a dark complected girl though, black is beutiful.
I GAVE MYSELF FOOD POISONING.
Deliberatly, I know, it was a bad idea. I only had time for a shroom trip on a day I was feeling a lot of grief for lost love, it still is super painful.
See, we work for all kinds of people year in and year out, some pay in ways other than cash.
I had a fist full of magic mushrooms, a tip, I also had a pint of pecan preline ice cream.
The thing is with tripping shrooms, your head has to be right or your just screwed.
A long time ago in New Mexico, I lived out in the country, I ate some local mushrooms with pesole and took a lovely young lady up the small mountain outside my house and rolled around making love in the mud while nature did a dusk lit sky show.
Her dread locks felt like they were big around as dinner plates, I didn't have a care in the world.
That was a fine time, my poison ended that relationship too, not real poison, just bad programing I guess, I'm working on it.
We had a gig (Skye did anyway) she was juggling in a film set in a roof top in downtown Portland, she got out and the other two of us parked the car.
I wasn't used to being in a car in the first place so it was kind of a cool novelty but a little nauseating, Micheal and I had just come along to watch, I'm so glad I did.
I thought I was ok enough emotionally, It had been some time since a break up, I wasn't so much ready, well a little.
After quickly visiting Caffiene and the kids at a spot I knew they would be, I left perfectly in time for me to be gone when the shrooms kick in.
Then it was tricky, cold as all get out, Micheal hasn't been in town for months and I'm tripping, we couldn't find where Skye was working.
Y'know how breakfast cereal and mustard go together?
Well thats how shrooms and freaking wet ass cold mornings mix, not well.
I thought about a painting I did called "Meeting a new friend on another planet" I never could tell what character I was representing myself with, now I know that I was the chicken.
Eventually I noticed expensive film gear being loaded out of a parking garage and thought "This must be the place".
ick*
It feels like I was staggering and suddenly got lifted from under my arms by Skye Blue and Micheal, I looked around bewildered.
I was on a treadmill since the last big venue closed for the year, I felt like a wedding cake thats been left a few months in the Grand Canyon.
I felt like a creature somehow clinging to life exposed to un natural elements stored if not forgotten.
Now stuffs happening faster than I can keep up with, the sound of the 16mm film cameras stressed me out because I know how expensive that is, it's not even my project, I was just out of my mind.
On the set I noticed all the circus stuff at home that had gotten done that day.
I asked "How did all this circus biddness get done?"
Micheal:"We hit the ground running fucker, it's on!"
As I dropped down onto another rooftop and centered myself in a parking lot.
The sun was peeking out at times and the cement was drinking the water off the soaked tarmac, the water dissapeared before my eyes.
I thought about how my poison is a drug, I was pulling a giant empty canyon of emptyness across the parking lot, a vacume left by the loss of my wife and two children, within that canyon is another ginormus crater that was Sweet Meghan's impact.
Regret is expensive, I wish we could have had a year to work it out, it's haunting.
I stay close to my kids by taking care of them and calling a lot, I have to still deal with Caffeine, luck for me, she is a dream of an ex to deal with, we never fight.
Other than that I don't hang out with ex's, when Mrs.Dizmal comes into my life, I can't risk having anyone in between us.
In the interest of "Giving to the future" I'm forced to block off some of the past.
Heavy stuff, all I want to do is be warm and cozy, my stomach is turning and I'm amazed by my great view of Portland.
I eventually got unsick from the shrooms, it's a good thing that shrooms are never too crazy harsh like acid, I tried that a few times and I dont care for it.
I got over myself,
I really missed my friend Bonaroo, she would have made that shroom trip amazing I don't let myself miss her too much, it's crazy making, she is magnificent and magical, like me.
We took a good tall bike ride (Mickeal, Skye Blue, Katie, Dingo) to "A better bike shop" on division, Blood Sugar has an account now, we put one in the shop and got parts for the General Lee.
They have nice art and good people there, they even answer stupid questions about ducks.
Skye rode on with Katie to her work and ghost rode her tall bike and the General Lee back to the bike shop (in heavy traffic)thats HOT!
We looked at the photos of the last adventure that Will Ood sweetly put down over at clownhouse.org kind of a neat way to show where we were, what we looked like, and how to expand on ideas and not make the same mistakes.
Picture day is tommorow, I think I feel good enough to put make up on again, I havent done that since October.
I'm pretty sure Katy put photos up after she left practice to go to work.
I didn't realize how dependent I am on being part of a team until they picked me up out of dispair.
I like taking great care of my tribe and getting really well taken care of in return,
i'm feeling it, I'm glad I cleared a path.
All the stuff got done so well I had time to just browse a fabric store picking out what style fun fur is to be sewn to the ass and back legs of my clown pants (called dress motley).
I'm also spending a lot of time with my new room mate "Bucket" a wonderful little ferret, it's so hard to be grumpy around the little guy.I wish I had this fool with me when I was having trouble keeping my cool.
OOPS! "Bucket" has burrowed himself under the carpet...wonder how he's getting out of that pickle.
He's a little bit cat, opossum, a bit rat, a bit sock full of quarters and I think maybe mexican.
Like Will Ood, this animal is hard to photograph because he is always moving.
I'm feeling like a guru with people asking me stuff like what to make and where to get us gigs, whats funny and what translates to stage well, we all teach and learn, respect is huge.
Micheal brought our old friend Katie into the fold too, she is stoked to be in the circus, she's super hot and a breeze to get along with she hasn't stopped cheering and smiling since she started.
We are all single and she wants to auction off dates with us to buy roller skates, guitar strings and lots of paint.
I hear Micheal has been treated like a rock star ever since he got here, he's glad to be back, thats good because he recently quit smoking.
I just saw a man who was signed to a major record lable sprint three blocks into some muddy Portland neighborhoods just to stop Micheal at Skye Tower and ask about the tall bike and who we are.
Heres the odd part, when Micheal heard the name of the guy's band he played it cool, mastering the random moment to get in the guys head.
See the man had dated Micheal's cousin on the east coast before the stardom hit hard so it left the fella wondering about the small world,.
From the name of the band Micheal knew a lot about him, he was an ok guy.
We took him on the back of a tall bike trailor on a white knuckle ride down Hawthorne at night with no lights.
He is having a hell of a tour, we dropped him off at his gig site in front of some wide eyed roadies.
I won't tell you what recording artist we met to protect the good name of dude's cousin on the east coast, plus I don't remember who it is and if I knew I wouldn't be able to spell it, maybe the Grope can fill in what I missed in the comments.
We were on our way to take my paintings down from a cafe.
Wow 34 Rubber chicken paintings whith no place to hang on April Fools day.
My AF day present to myself was help.
It took me months to stage the paintings and get them hung in the cafe, it took many bus rides and a truck to gather all the paintings from around town, it sucked doing that alone.
I helped too many people when I should have been taking care of myself a bit, I kept expecting help that never came.
Taking the paintings down took moments, they melted off the wall in a flurry and quickly loaded to tall bike trailor.
We spent most of the time annoying people and playing grab ass.
Bucket just raced acrossed the keyboard and erased a whole paragraph, heehee, guess we'll never know what I wrote.
They put some stuff in his water to combat the smell, he smells like a ghetto incense stick, personally i like the smell of weasle musk way better than dude feet.
The music I'm listening to is:
(when I'm in the mood to write songs and forget them) Tenatious D "Tribute"
(when I'm feeling depressed about break ups) "Next in line" by the Kinks.
(When I'm raging) "Psycobilly Freakout" by Rev. Horton Heat.
(In my head) "Fuge in D" J.S.Bach.
(When hunting wild ass) "Lady cab driver" Prince and the Revolution.
(While fixing bikes) "Buzz Bomb" Dead Kennedys.
(In the shower) "Bungalo" Bizzy Bawdy
(When thinking fondly of Bonaroo) "look into the sun" J.Tull
hail fall on my roof.
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