"Didn't take!"

Iv'e been having lots of stupid thoughts, not bad ideas as much as stupid ones, they just flow like peanut butter out of my head.
Heres one: "make a car that runs on sword fighting".
see, stupid, Nuther one: "I would have learned more in school if I had to adventure and quest for a few simple answers that mean everything one needs to know", hahaahahha, thats stupid.
The only thing on tv this late at night is a Barry Manillo concert and Poker after dark, all else on the dial are infomercials, think I'll watch it all.
See thats stupid too, the spanish station is the best thing to watch, you don't have to know spanish to enjoy the hot women they have on ALL the shows it seems. I sometimes play tapes of instrumental music to the tv blasting mexican drama to make new Spanish language music that also sucks.
I'm a card dealer and I hate "Poker After Dark", it's a table full of dark glasses and smirking gamblers, mummbling, yuck, give me a show with a real eye in the sky cam over a casino near the bar, thats entertainment.
I want to see more shows with Little People, I can't help it.
"shapoopi" Vern Fonk comercials make tv worth watching.
enough small talk,
THIS IS REAL:
I cast a money spell the other night,
I know it sounds rude, I normally cast spells for things like Global harmony,protection from addictions and strife,
Sometimes I'm undoing slavish devotions of the body, banishing warts, contemplating grace with grammer.
I cast spells for my family, for romance, for understanding, for the ability to give sage advice to bozos.
I like to pray that the sun comes up everyday , I pray for Portland, this is what I think magic should be used for...
but...
I'm still paying back bills from the Clown House and I'm still paying for the trash removal of the place.
Even though we got burned for the damage deposit, I have to pay them, then add child support and rent it's a little creepy.
I can handle anything and I'm not afraid to work more let me tell ya.
I needed some dough so I asked the powers that be for some flow, it's not very wizardly to ask, it's a little embarassing.
I worked on it for four hours in the darkness of my room, as the sun was good and up,
I went to bed.
That next morning I had woken two hours earlier than usual and kind of sleep walked three and a half blocks to a wet,
busy intersection, stooped down and picked up a waterlogged wallet with $80, lots of blurred paper turned pink,
and no ID of any kind, I bet it fell out of a car dashboard during a drunken turn the night before.
It was the right conditions for cosmic cash because if there had been even a shred of a name or address
in the wallet I would have tracked the person down, gave the wallet back and then had to rob them.

It was my spell, cast and returned, just like it was when I was 10 my magic works again and again!
only thing is...
I added a rider to my magic spell...I kinda asked for some "lovins" too.
In preperation for this part, I had stopped any sexual contact of any kind a week before, thats no pudding the budnick for a fortnight!
It was easy, I didn't want upstage (something I'm not telling you about) by masturbating anyway, it's a chort cut to cheaper chee.
behold.
I had a visitor the day I found the money, a 20 year old, cross dressing daredevil named J came over and hung out.
He is hell on the roller blades and can fling himself high in the air, around poles, over my bike, through traffic, all with huge fake tits.
We cracked wize and made lots of jokes, he flirted heavily with me and it went over my head like mayo in an elevator.
It wasn't until I talked on the phone with him that I realized he was my "lovins" .

I need to be more careful, I wasn't specific enough, I'm actually attracted to the likes of Bonaroo or anyone I know named Liz,
not guys or even girlish guys (sans pinga).
Gay?
I thought to myself, "can I do gay?"
Sure I can do gay, how hard can it be?
Iv'e been bisexual before and I went a year with a male partner back in the day.
I was "Christian" and "Carnie" don't see why not another crazy state of human affairs.
All my money "goes to things" I decided to keep the $80 gift from the cosmos for myself and shag the cute fella.
He deserves it as he is the only person I know that is nice enough [to like me] that much right now.
Of the three gals I like, all of them have better men than i already, I'm more of a prop or rooster behind glass,
thats fun too (to a point), i get all the dates and none of the fights, half the credit and none of the sex.
.
Bills can wait, kids are paid for this month, I bought myself some new socks and when the "J" called next, I invited him over.

Long story short, he dropped in, I put on a motorcycle cop, jacket, boots and helmet and nothing else (really),
I had a bunch of fun to the tune of La Gazza Ladra.
He wore a red dress and heels, we did the tango, I hate kissing dudes.
For a male he was ok!
I fantasized how cool it would be if I had a full time male lover, how terrifying I would be arriving on the scene with a heavily armed, tranny, clown at my side and fire and brimstone at my feet, too bad I'm not into guys, I'm just kind of being a team player on this one, or at least a vampire living on rats because the usual prey is retarded.
Later we took off to catch his bus and I hoped he didn't think he had a manfriend, i'm going back to the land of the curves.
The night before I told some homebums what I was doing (trying gay), I had them chant "YAY GAY!" over and over, I payed them to do that until I was out of earshot, best $2 spent that day.
They spotted us and yelled from across the street "Well are ya gay?"
"nah" I said, "Didn't take!"


thats 20 hours in the sex life of a chaos clown