still sick yaaaay!

I'm yellow (lol) I'm a Simpson character and boy is it itchy.
I guess the stone thats stuck somewhere in my guts has been leaking another direction than usual and the result is, my skin is filling with poison YAY!!!
It's a life changing thing friends let me tell ya, I'm in hell, it's true but I laugh every day and have tons of plans for the future.
I almost didn't though for a second, boy am I glad I thought things through.
y'see Life has been torturing me for some of the time and pleasuring me the rest, no gray zone, it's hard to make sense of it all.
A monk came by yesterday to minister with me, we have been semi secret friends for about 7 years.
Back in the day he would help me deal with the public so I wouldn't lead people wrong, we are pretty tight now.
I wont tell you what kind of monk he is, but he is really a monk, trust me.
We sat together and one of the first things out of his mouth after "Greetings brother" was "You aren't spilling your seed are you?"
I was like..."I beg your pardon?"
"You cant masturbate or have an orgasm with a woman, you'll lose valuable Qi man."
We looked down at our feet, there were about 4 condom wrappers and some confetti.
"Sorry my body hurts, my soul hurts, my mind is tired and I have no more tears left, I can't eat anything that would turn a napkin clear, can't have Potatoes, Pepper, salsa, Pizza, Burritos, my kids may as well live in another country and my wife is now "The X", I'm afraid the only fat I can put in my mouth is the kind you don't swallow."
Still, I told my buddies here at Sky Tower that I would abstain from sex like a good young republican pretends to.
He leaves and 30 min later I hear a sound that struck right through me...Bonaroo's voice downstairs.

Well so much for that plan,all her stuff fits in my stuff perfectly...I tried brother I did.
Funny thing was, earlier that day, I had cause to go round Burnside (near the Skate park) to carry our house computer to a fixer.
I rode all the way there. it was downhill and that blew me away with fatigue, I was itchy and sore and I was looking at the trains.
I thought (with a smile)"This is a good jump off point, It's not like I have a lot to lose."
OK I'm sure Will would be mad at me for not doing it in front of him so he can say "EEEEEEEW!"
I could just dive in front of the next train, smear my sorry ass over the next six miles and I wont have to pedal back up the hill."
I'm so glad I didn't react stupidly, Bonaroo came over within hours and you better believe I was glad I didn't go dancing with the trains.
I have never begrudged anyone a suicide, I think that and homosexuality are the key to natural human population control.
Yeah sick sucks, madness sucks, and having my body sent to Texas really sucks, Bonaroo gave me a bunch of hours of vacation from this bad time (Thanks lil ass).
I spent the night fitful in sleep after my friend left, i was again alone in the dark with the intense itching that comes from my body storing waste in my cells.
As soon as I woke up and it was light out I got dressed and shot out the door to the free clinic, I wished I had that computer to check things better.
I had gone there 6 months ago and I knew what day they see people.
I bussed down there and they told me they didn't see anyone until 1pm, so much for bright and early, I had to haul my busted butt around town and wait for the afternoon.
I went to the library, YEAH.
Since the fall of my family and the Clown House I have had time to do things I never could very much like read, take busses and be sick.
I looked up toys I had as a kid, it was fun.
When it was time I hobbled myself to the clinic and waited about an hour or two.
I knew if my strength lasted long enough to get there, they would fix me up good like last time, I was ready to pay extra like last time too.
They called my name..."Uh..sir...says here on your form that you are over 30 and rent a room?"
"Yes thats right"
"Um sorry, we can't help you, your too old, heres a list of other places you can maybe go."
I was really wishing I had looked at the web site now, as I looked at the paper I noticed it was all in Spanish.
"Oh sorry Dingo, let me get you an English one, as he looked around I read the Spanish one.
When he got me the other one it confirmed what I had thought, those others wont take me either.
I would have to be a junkie or a woman or from the Baltic countries or a black woman from Baltic countries with gambling problems.
I spent the next few hours lost in Portland trying to find the bus that goes where I live.
See downtown is a clusterfluck of construction and it took a lot of marching to find my way.
Dig this, finally, to get the bus home, I followed signs until one told me to board a bus going the opposite direction from where I was going, then it righted itself.
Once home I called a voice that still sounds like a friend no matter how surely she speaks to me, Caffeine, I had to let her know I'm too much of a mess to hang with my kids.
I wasn't this lame when I was a drunk ....I don't think i was anyway.
She gave me good advice on where to go and how to deal with this.
Will and I went shopping and tomorrow I get to have this for breakfast:
Distilled water mixed with sea salt and epsom salt in a glass,
a grapefruit peel and all,
as much olive oil as I can take,
That should set me to convulsing and going through some hell and if I'm lucky, the rock will move and my skin will return to it's normal Texican brown
Thats some heavy stuff huh?
36 hours or so in the life of a chaos clown.