I just had the privelage to endure one of the trials of life that whole religions sometimes spring out of.

I think the archetype is "travel to the depths of hell and then return ordeal" if i'm now stronger it is still to be seen.
I did a gig in my old neighborhood, I saw some folks I love a lot and I guess I didn't feel much love back so I went home like an idiot and poisoned myself with fat for comfort ,
I'm reminded of when I was a child and hung out with dogs, they know how to let you know they care when you return to the pack, my dog did that.
They are really happy to see you, I guess I saw connections that wern't as strong as I thought.
so I was upset inside but still Dingo the Clown outside I wished I could have hugged them but I can't inflict myself on anyone, it has to be mutual.enough babymamadrama.

After the gig on Alberta street Will Workforf Ood and I, on tall bikes, went back to south east.
He was pulling the big cattle trailer, all it had in it was some cardboard, a battle ax, a banjo,and lots of rope.
I did have a huge bag of bagels and a pile of merch, we sold almost all the stuff and tossed the bagels.
Our cargo moved around a lot during the ride, we didn't tie anything down, odd because we had LOTS of rope.
At Burnside Blvd. the banjo fell off an into the street at 14m.p.h. confirming my notion that banjos sound good in all situations.
That must be why we didn't tie anything down, we wanted to hear speed metal on the banjo.
I stopped and grabbed it before a diaper truck came and hit it, I played a few bars in the street and then tied it down kinda.
We got to the crib, tossed the props and went right out hussling the streets, I didn't want to think about stuff.
I hate to say it but an amazing hunk of luck happened when Ood's girlfriend went out of town, had she been here, Will would have maybe been around an hour and then left into the fair, at the gig i had him all day, we had perfect team work and grossed over $300.
Sounds like a lot but it's dough long spent, I'm sure you know that deal.
The streets around Hawthorne were mostly empty and hard to busk, all i wanted was yogurt.
After playing with some kids we set out in search of yogurt, couldn't find any, went someplace else, closed, I told Ood "I sure hope I don't go home and eat all that ice cream that I'm allergic to just because I miss my wife, girlfriend and children and dog."
He shook his head much like Howdy Doody.
I went home and ate the ice cream, the only other thing I had that day was a hunk of greasy meat in a tortilla and coffee.
To a guy with gall stones, thats really bad.
I got some laundry together and stuck it in the trailer while doing that, I felt the tang of pain in my side, but it went away quickly.
It was morning, early morning, I always go to bed late and wake up early, I went looking for a laundry mat.
Passed Belmont passed a few other streets and I found one, $2 a load cool, it took me almost a month to generate one full load of laundry.
Thats because I threw most of my clothes away along with my furniture at the old house.
I could feel a painful sensation in my guts, I remembered the ice cream and hoped that it wouldn't be a bad attack.
I also remembered the what and why about the ice cream, Bonaroo don't like chocolate and Caffeine don't like nuts so I sure as hell was eating Rocky Road, intentions are important, those intentions could make me real sick.
I know they don't owe me anything, I love them and care for them and this hunk of insanity is all my own I hope they can forgive me this self serving rant.
I put the clothes in and went out to the bike to sit down on a crate.
I occupied myself by thinking too much and looking at some newspapers that I didn't have the strength to reach for.
My sides were really stinging, my head was dropping and I was starting to look like a junkie, I needed yogurt or at least water.
It took being this crazed to find the cheapest, coolest laundrymat in town and then lose it.
I went into a "murder mart" but all they had was high fructose drinks, I never touch that stuff, I have enough problems, I couldn't use the saturated fat potatoes or pork derms.
Here is where it gets tricky and more surreal, 7 art cars pulled into the murder mart parking lot, If you don't know what those are, look it up, that was cool.
Cheap laundry, a nice community, art cars and I'm too crazed to enjoy it.
My eyes felt like they had dingle berrys hanging from them, my side was splitting and I'm not sure what I was looking at across the street.
I had to go, if I stayed there I would wake up in the hospital so I went to check the time left on my machine 27min. Damn!
I couldn't abort "laundry mission" so I decided to drive through it.
Let me tell ya friends, im almost more secure in the saddle of a tall bike than on the ground, as long as I can see I can ride.
I took to the road and the delirium began.
I stayed away from people or property, luck for all the streets were empty save for one insane clown on a tall bike.
In my minds eye I saw a man who was once my martial arts trainer at Ft.Rucker army base in Dothan Alabama, this man betrayed me and in my head I saw him training Dingo Dizmal the character I have desperately been trying to kill off.
He was rubbing Dingo's shoulders and telling him how to hurt me without killing me.
I yelled out "F YOU DINGO" while listing down Powell street and my eyes rolled into the back of my head for a second I looked for a bush to crash into.
I regained my balance and continued on, all i wanted was some yogurt.

Dingo would come at me with visions of happy times among family and I would just take it as his hand pushing my sides making tears stream from my eyes.
I was lost and dehydrated, crazy and falling apart fast, I had to get home at least, I was desperate.
I don't think I knew what was happening at the time, I was just rolling with the punches...i knew I had laundry.
I wondered into a Wendys fast food bathroom to let loose some bloody pee (sorry yall, this is real).
When I got out on the floor I looked at all the poison those people were eating and I could feel and taste all the fat and sugar in my body coming off them.
They had all just been to church, they were all fat, they all had fat cars.
I looked at my bike, it;s longer than a station wagon and 8 feet tall, if I made a "scene" it would reflect bad on the circus, so I walked out still speaking to the people like fish out of water breathes.
I left in disgust, got on my bike and staggered off I had no idea when I left to do laundry that my whole world would go south like that.
I eventually found my laundry mat, the art cars had gone and my stuff was almost done
Then it was a back and forth between me and Dingo, he was drunk and his hat didn't fit anymore, he was crass.
I was alone but had lots of weapons.
I had no way to fight him under those conditions, it really is blinding pain associated with Gall stones, easy to go crazy and almost impossible to kill a chaos clown that screwed me.

I was dizzy, far from home and not really knowing where my home was if there is such a place.
I couldn't relate to the people I love most and so I poisoned myself, stupid huh?
I pushed my sorry ass up all the hills that lead to Sky Tower, I found a store and bought myself some yogurt went home, pulled some artifact props out of the rain that was due and went up to my lair on auto pilot.

Heres the "Hell and back" part that I could never really explain but can indeed try to...
My fever woke me, my back was sore, sides splitting I needed water and couldn't get out of my bed.
I could hear people talking and laughing downstairs but they couldn't hear me yelling for help, the most I could yell through a headache was a hiss "Sombody help me please" over and over again I reached over with my hand found the neck of my guitar, I started pounding in on the floor *** ** *** *** ** *** but I don't think any of them knew Morse code or were looking for any.
I have a fever, I'm ripping at the seams, having this epic battle with myself and all I want to know is where the hell is Yoda?
I came in and out a lot over the next few hours, really sick.
It began raining just as the worst of it hit me, I tried to ignore the pain and visualize the rain washing the imbalances from my systems, it would have worked had this not been so intense, I guess it did work a little.
I found myself on the stairs leading out of my lair, I was wearing a skirt and a blanket, I took that opportunity to get into the shower, the hot then cold helped a lot, I left without drying off and went back to bed.
I made a few trips for short showers after that, it was a brief reprieve from the pain, in bed and in the tub I had to continually turn over like a weenie on a hot stick, it was exhausting.
On my third or so trip to the shower Skye Blue was in the hall and said "Nice skirt sexy"I looked at her and our other roomate and just said "Gall attack" she swung into action.
When I got back to bed there they were "team wellness brigade of death" Josea, Skye and Will all helping me out, Skye looked it up on the internet so she would know what she was dealing with, she rubbed my back, her hands felt like gunshots, any touch was agony but I needed it.
Will rubbed my feet with what I thought were ice cold hands, Josea didn't know what to do so I asked him just to cast spells.
He did, at one point I heard him telling someone "Shut up I'm trying to cast this spell!"I think he was talking to me.
I could still hear lots of rain, sweet Portland Rain, I love this town.
People spent the next hours coming and going to my room, one person would lay with me and pet my head and leave, then Will would come in grinding herbs into tea, lighting candles and overall doing some witchy flower Ood magic on me, he kept feeding me water, they all fed me lots of water, they even found me a straw because I couldn't lift my head high enough to sip.
Josea came in and kept me company and then Skye gave me a KILLER back rub.
They treated me really good, lots of hands on me , praying for me and with good intentions it was grand, I was blessed.
They left the light off once, I woke up and looked around, I'm not that familiar with my room I've only been there a short time.
I saw lots of dark angles hinted by faded light and the sound of rain, of course I thought I was on the island of Crete in the minotaurs maze.
Dingo the clown was looking for me he wanted to hurt me, I wanted to kill him, I was insane I drifted off into some deranged fever induced torment of my own design.
I hear I was making a considerable noise grunting and such, I said some things I don't recall, I guess I have some good friends, loyalty is hard to find.
I used to have to get drunk to sound that stupid.
I would wake up to see a face looking back at me, kind of creepy but that went away, I saw Will's face in my face lit by candle a bunch he went out and bought us some water and did my house chore, he really is set up for fixing broken circus bosses.
I woke up a few more times in pain but I could feel it going away, the fat that I was digesting was spent, the gall bladder was deactivating, the stones that were grinding into ducts were finding better places to be.
I will have to go through this again at least once, I have to get someone with an ultrasound device to break up the stones a bit and then I gotta pass them.
Boy howdy, thats the cowboy way!
I came out of the dungeon after fighting Dingo the clown with a few ideas, one is that you can only really blame yourself when things go wrong.
My name is Dingo so that would be kind of hard to get away from but the character better stay away from me for a while.
I walked in the yard this morning, the rain had stopped, my feet stepped into the mushy moss of the soaked backyard and I felt happy to be alive.
Happy to be a clown in a town that loves clowns.I love my blog, my friends, family and fans.
I think it's gonna be ok.
and thats 20 hours in the life of a chaos clown.