beat off

http://www.sol-i.tv/Spit/Stix.html

This fella is my friend, he teaches drums, if you really want to know not only drumming but the skinny about show biz and the music industry look him up.
Iv,e only heard him tapping on the bar recently but his old band and his friends bands were the sound track of my delinquent days back in Beerstain Texas.
We both seemed to have moved on to new things well.

Frang writesin from Indo

Y'know Franc was a clown in our show a few years ago, he and his lady Naya went to her home in Indonisia. He writes in with updates of his adventures.

CLOWNS!

ZE FABULOUS FRANC IZ NOW ZE FABULOUS FARANG (FARANG = HONKEY IN THAI)

ZE PEOPLE OF BANGKOK ARE A STRANGE RACE, VE THINKS. ZEY DON'T LIKE TO
LOOK YOU IN ZE EYES - ZEY DON'T LIKE TO SAY ZANK YOU OR HELLO OR
GOODBYE AND ZEY ARE APT TO SMASH INTO YOU ON ZE ZUBWAY AND NOT SAY
ZORRY.

ZEY WORSHIP ZER KING LIKE A GOD AND WEAR YELLOW SHIRTS ZAT SAY "LONG
LIVE THE KING". IMAGINE MR. BUSH IN A GIANT POZTER TWICE AS OFTEN AZ
ZER IS A STARBUCKS. AND SHIRNES.

ZEY PIT LITTLE GIRLS AGAINST EACH OZER IN KICKBOXING MATCHES IN ZE
PARK. ZEY EAT FROGZ AND EELS AND DRINK ZEY BLOOD OF SNAKES.

IN OZER WORDS - ZEY KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN. ZEY EVEN HAVE A WORD FOR ZE
PRACTICE OF FUN-HAVING - IT IZ CALLED 'SANUK'.

ZO WE HAD SOME SANUK IN BANGKOK'S DISNEYWORLD STRIP OF WHOREHOUSES
(ZANK YOU VERY MUCH, FOUNDER VIETNAM WAR AMERIKAN GI'S ON R&R). ZE
INFAMOUS RED-LIGHT DISTRICT IZ NOW VERY MUCH A WEIRD FREAKSHOW OF
AMERICAN FAMILIES AND ELDERLY GERMAN TOURISTS ZIPPING SRU BAZAARS
BUYING FAKE POLO SHIRTS WHILE WHORES IN BIKINI'S GYRATE DEESTRACTEDLY
IN GO-GO BARS AND HAWKERS OFFER AN ARRAY OF VAGINAL TRIKZ ON DISPLAY
UPSTAIRS.

ZO MY FABULOUS ZELF HAD A LITTLE FUN WIT DE MUSCLEBOUND AMERIKANS -
MIMING ZEM AND COURTING ZEM FOR ZE DELIGHT OF THE THAIS.

ZE LOKALS LOVED IT. ZEY LOST ZAT COOL DEMEANOR AND DANCED AND
BALLYHOOED ZE NIGHT AWAY VIT ME. ZEY - ZEY ZEY LOVVED ME!!

I ZINK ZEY ENJOYED ZEEING A FARANG BEEHAVE A BIT DIFFERENT PERHAPS...

O.K. That's enough Franc...





We're using a visa run from Indo. as an excuse to do some backpacking
through Thailand - a strange and beautiful country. All the cool stuff
we admire back home - recycling, re-using materials, design inspired
by nature, the art of fun - it's all very ingrained in the culture
here. The originality and fresh aesthetic sensibility is impressive
especially in the use of natural materials like bamboo and wood and
also adapting existing technological techniques (like t-shirt screen
printing, for example). The young bangkok designers here make these
wonderful one-off artworks of unique t-shirt design, mixing ink on the
screen and using gold and silver ink. Very impressive - that's what we
keep saying.

People say that Bangkok is a crazy gridlocked mess of a metropolis -
but coming from Jakarta it's as green as a SE Asian Portland. The
other great thing is that there's a middle class. Jakarta is 80%
poverty and 10% super-rich. It just don't feel right.

Anyway, wish you guys the best in Portland-land. Looks like all is in
full swing over there from your blog and your new little human looks
like he's forming beautifully as a little human being.

All our love,

Justin and Naya (AND FRANC)

Like what we do? Donation bucket!

The First,last Last Thursday.

That is, the First Last Thursday of the last year we live here.

Now it's quiet, the last of the clowns have gone to bed and it's just me up late counting things.

We talked well into the night about how the show went, what worked and what didn't, it was fun.

We also went over Pinga's video stuff, it was a blast, in the footage, he is on the roof taping downward onto the porch.

Our doggie Banjo was sitting on the top step watching everything, she didn't know about Pinga and his eye in the sky.

Any other dog would surlly run around if her house became swelled with food, people and other dogs, she just satthere, knowing that she was told (by me) to stay.

There she sat, even being stumbled over by wayward cirkus teen Zeela and never moved until I came on the scene and told her she could go out and into the yard proper.

Bizzy Bawdy , Clorine and Will looked great and Sprout was...interesting, they did a wonderful job hosting Shmanarchist Idol out talent show. Leapin Louie Lichtenstein was there doing rodeo cowboy tricks and all ages of armature stars did acts for thecrowd.

I just watched everything and moved around from parts of the yard to the street and beyond.

Rabbit and I made some runs down Alberta doing tricks on tall bikes, I did a trick where I aim at a crowd yelling NO BRAKES! when I get close enough for them to hear me talk, I say “Just kidding I have brakes and steer off.

The word of the day was coined by Mr. Will Workforf Ood, it's “Thai- a ria,”, Thats what you get when you sample the food from the streets 4 Thai places and Alberta street's many Taquarias.

I didn't make much dough selling hot dogs but I plan to be out there selling for a few days so come see me in front of the house.

I'll be selling dogs, playing guitar and maybe even playing a few games of D&D.

The two Russian fools we are doing a show with this Sat, showed up and played some super cool tunes, we stuck one of them on the shoe bike and he rode up and down the street with a bull horn and some fliers promoting the show, very funny.

The only downer came from the new condo across the street, Now get this,

Those people loaded a giant band, sound system onto one of the condos, creating a shotgun speaker right into our yard.

To make matters worse they played covers of 80s soft rock, they filled our yard with music that sucked when the original people wrote it.

It was so insulting and embarrassing for me and the people performing on our stage, why? because here we are, a community gathered on a stage playing our music and telling stories, it's a real organic experience...it's alive.

then across the street we have this forced, group of bullies high up on a terrace away from the community basically saying” F you all we got lots of watts and no interest in your grimey community”

Soon they will get the community they want because we are all leaving soon.

There was a pretty cool burger joint across from my place but I hear the coked up owner of a local restraunt decided to have the city code inspectors on speed dial and kept the heat on until the guy took fish off his menu and then eventually he had to tear down and move on.

Iv'e come to dislike moving around on my street, I can't afford anything anymore, the rent is high and everyone looks alike now.

I'm not worried about it, I have no problem leaving a community thats homogenizing, I'm gonna take the tribe to a new community and be part of the next wave of fun.

grease from an oil rig.

I'm thinking about the ocean, I grew up on the Gulf Of Mexico and have a lot of respect for the natural world. I have so much respect that I leave it alone.
At a young age, i saw my beach get crowded with concrete and steel hotels, the offshore become a parking lot for oil rigs and in between, more and more cars.
Nasty stuff would always wash up on people who swam , we kept a coffee can full of Kerosene in the van to scrub off oil that I was told was a natural occuring phenomina.
Now I know it was grease from an oil rig.
I have to sell seafood at my job, and because I'm really good at my job, I sell a lot. My boss thanked me for selling so many plates of mussles and it made my heart sink, I hate being part of theproblem.
I think about all those floating factory farms on the open ocean, methodecly clear cutting the ancient bounty.
Will Workforf Ood worked on one of those in Alaska and has nothing good to say about the expierience.
Natural mass extinction events have happened a lot, we are one now, so how much should I care if it's what naturally happened.

The only thing I hate more than dogs...

Is puppets!
This duo of slack jawed ankle bites caught me on my way to get some popcorn, I soon had them singing to the tune of Dingo brand music.

I don't know what that means...I'm may be talking out my rear like a doggone dummy..

mopwater pillows!".

If you are gonna get a copy of Street Roots from your local homebum this year nows the time to do it, it's a good story.
They are giving grief to the city about the "Sit Lie ordinence" in effect, I can just hear them in my mind "Hey man, I live here, where do you want me to sleep, in the dumpster? I don't want mopwater pillows!".

Now stepping over a lazy, able bodied sack of crap is one of my least fav things to do but some people just have some hard times and I love supporting people out there selling papers.

kong

I sold this painting and then found myself without a Kong so I repainted it but instead of the sepia tones I used all black /blue shades, it's the first painting I ever did that I stepped back and said "Bitchin!"

I like it, maybe soon I will have a dashboard cam to show you all the cool stuff Ive been painting.

Wow, I guess I'm up.

So far so horror, Iv'e been having a piss poor day full of distraction and unpleasant sounds and events, typical day off stuff.
My spirtis were just lifted a little in the time between loads of laundry and Dawg Snax production.
I went into the office, clicked on the TV and sat down to look for my untouched, cold coffee I baught two hours ago before "The Distraction events".
PBS was showing an opera, Chinese composer Tan Dun's "The First Emporor" featuring Placido Domingo.
I love classical music, I don't much care for the screetching opera stuff plus I don't much care for the "human interest stories" I wanna hear the band.
I was looking for my drink and my ear caught the sound of the Tenor singing.
I looked up and there stood Mr. Domingo in full Chinese garb and with ahuge stage set.
There was a guy singing in a Latin based Germanic tounge (English) about chinese emporor issues, A modern piece with very old tradition, it was greatThe screetching singing part still made me tired.

Loch Ness Chicken

OKOKOK a man claimed he wanted to buy this painting for a hundred bucks, we wrote a big SOLD sign in red on it's lable and there it sat for a month, I called the guy and he had a story but told me he would be down.
He Flaked on me despite the fact that I dropped the price from $150 for him.
That really sucks for an artist when folks do that.
Browsing is browsing, maybe if you don't really plan to get a painting don't act like you can't live without it.
His loss is your gain, you can see it at the Concordia Ale House, have some beer and get a hunk of art.
I wanna see someone with a killer trade for this painting.
Whatchaa got?
Like what Olive and Dingo do? Here is the virtual tip jar.

drunk hurricane

Last night at work, a home bum woman,casualy walked in, looked around, and when she thought nobody could see her, she pulled a straw from her purse and helped herself to a costomers pitcher ofbeer.
When confronted, she spat "What are you gonna do about it?" through an old toothless mouth.
She wanted a bed for the night ala Portland Police Department.
She was escorted to the door where she promptly began panhandling right in front us.
She was rad, single minded like a drunk hurricane.
I dubbed her "The Mosquito" because she was a female, desperado with a straw just like the common Mosquito, the blood sucking ones are all female.
She came in later asking to make bills out of her handfuls of change.

I'm down to only two days a week working for the bar, the rest of the time is all about paintings and selling Dawg Snax and hot dogs for my rent money.
Another cool thing that happened recentlly was Skid Mark from the Drop Out Bike Club, he just hopped around the Clown House yard like a grizzly hummingbird, moving from bike to bike, inspecting and repairing out sieriouslly drunk-hole damaged bike fleet.
He got the General Lee rolling and Dude is comming back to fix other favorites.
In the middle of all that, he found an automobile steering wheel that he's sticking on a tall bike...coool!
We are still looking for talent for out Last Thursday/Art Hop special talent show Shmanarchist Idol, come show us your stuff any wed after 3 and before 6

this is how two fools, two kids and a dog make lunch

At the Clown House anyway...

I like looking at Chlorine's skull in this shot

Caffeine

Y'know what my wife Caffeine did thats sooo cool?
She taught our baby some words in American Sign Language, that means the boy can tell us stuff with his hands that he can't yet say by mouth.
GOLD STAR CAFFO!

will

NTERNATIONAL APRIL FOOL'S PARTY CARNIVAL Saturday March 31st 8pm - 2:30am Rotture - 315 SE 3rd on the East waterfront APRIL FOOL'S PARTY

I just went to see the venue last week, it's gonna be great, expect a mermaid lagoon, three stages, a lounge as well as a frikkin parade!
Below is what ringmaster Noah has to say about the event.
Dingo-

Rotture 315 sw 3d on the East Waterfront.
NTERNATIONAL APRIL FOOL'S PARTY CARNIVAL

Saturday March 31st
8pm - 2:30am


STARRING: MiruMir, Trashcan Joe, Here Comes A Big Black Cloud, DJ Dimon,
The Alberta Clown House, Professor Gall, DJ Global Ruckus, Chervona,
John "Elvis" Schroeder, Krebsic Orkestar, Noah Mickens, Krystal Z, Paul Clay,
Pointblank Selector, Travis McAlister's Oomphadelic Soundsystem,
Infamous Dangerous Psychopath, Spitting Seamen, Alex Magic, and tons more

$10 at the door, $7 in advance
21+


The Council of Fools has sent out a clarion call for all of our number to assemble on March 31st, so we can be together to celebrate the Fool's New Year when midnight strikes.

At 8pm, we are gathering outside Rotture for a parade and pre-show starring The Alberta Clown House; then opening the doors at roughly 9pm and letting in as many fools as the place can hold. A`profoundly foolish line-up of music and oddball performances culminates in a countdown at 12am, and we'll keep the scene lit-up well into April 1st with a late-night dance party.

Our main stage will be held down by prominent fools from all strata of the Portland underground

MiruMir, Russian rock ambassadors from the Communist Afterparty - www.myspace.com/mirumir
Here Comes A Big Black Cloud, party-crashing visitors from a distant world - www.myspace.com/herecomesabigblackcloud
and Trashcan Joe, hobo souls from the scrap heaps of old-world America - www.trashcanjoe.com

And we're filling the rest of the bar, from the staircase to the ladies' room to the smoking patio, with a head-spinning gaggle of performers:

If you attended our chaotic open audition at The Know, you'll remember old-time booze singer Professor Gall; and the Infamous Dangerous Psychopath who played the double-nose-recorder. Other acts on the side-stages and throughout the venue will include gypsy brass band The Krebsic Orkestar, singer Paul Clay, gypsy pop band Chervona, nightmare raconteur John "Elvis" Schroeder, international scoundrel DJ Dimon, Travis McAlister's Oomphadelic Sound System, a demented puppet show from Rale Sidebottom, femme fatale Krystal Z, and just tons of other people.

It's the most astonishing collection of nutcases assembled in a single room since they brought the curtain down on Dammasch, brought to you through the combined efforts of the same crew of zealous Russian party evangelists who brought you The Red October party at Slabtown, the Ararat after-hours, and Gypsymania; and the man behind Batty's Hippodrome, Societas Insomnia, and Cicuri Curajul.

And it's not too late to get involved - if you'd like to contribute your foolish performance to our little Bedlam, contact Noah Mickens at radonpdx@yahoo.com and he'll make sure you get in the door and onto the schedule. No non-fools need apply.


"What is a fool?" the newspaper man asked me.

It's a deeper question than it might seem to be. I don't want to bore the
reading public on such a festive occasion, but please do consider that The
Fool in the Tarot represents the number zero, and thus the very center and
origin of all things. We of the Fool's Council believe that life can be
lived on this path, which begins with a single courageous step that leads
all the way down, only to deliver us each time to the tools we need to
recreate ourselves, more wholly realized in our own image. But far more
important to a fool than his own success is to spread misrule and merriment
throughout the world, like a Pied Piper leading we children dancing over the
cliffs of reason.

Follow us.
Noah-

If this seems like a great way to spend the night before April Fools day contact me at fastclown@veryfast.biz
you can get tickets from us for $7

Jousting cam!

here is what the Jousting Pole sees, just click the above title.

Dingo mask

Print this bad boy up and get down like the clown!

ok thanks to Firefox I again can post blog stuff yaaaaay!
The bar I work at has changed ownership, the new guy is really cool and he seems to be pushing the ship in profitable directions.
If you see this and it's Tue. then I will be bartending tonight, then it's 5 days of working for the Clown House untill I again become the beer minister.
This spring I plan to do more busking downtown as well as night club gigs and special events.
I sure would love to do a gig with the Rollerderby (hint hint)last time they were afraid our bikes would hurt the special floor.
Did you know they coat the floor with orange juice to make it stick to the skates?
I may have made that up.

I'm Back!

ok I found out that the ideal time to use the computor at the Star E Rose Cafe is around 3 in the afternoon.
A kid with coke bottle glasses was online doing some pbs game, I luered her away with my trusty flashlight and went on myself.
Today (moments ago) I woke for the first time in a long time. on my own, no baby screeching of clowns tuning hand made insterments, no dog pushing me off or walking mud clots into my bed.
I still woke to terror, someone had some food cooking, unattended on the stove and I sensed it all the way upstairs and in the closet that I sleep in.
Many years ago I woke to the same feeling in Dallas Texas and then again a few years after that in Minneapolis when my house was on fire.
I ran downstairs and turned it off, it's hard to tell if someone is home or not, the house is big and has many hiding places.
The Ale Housethat I work at has a new owner, nobody knows who it is or how long they will be keeping thier jobs.
If I get canned, I'm going to the streets this spring to busk Portland, it never made much money in the past (playing music for money on the streets) but now that I'm sober, I think I can turn it around.

We finished the frikking movie!
In the rain, by the river near the tracks we finished the movie (working titled:The Robbery). It was wet, we almost got beat up by an impressively huge Rail Road policeman, we made him laugh so he just told us to get lost and stay away from the tracks.
Yup, it's funny alright, I also dropped off a few drawings for Pint glass design over at the Widmire Brewing company for a contest, hope I win.
I'm praying for my friend Heathers dad who was in surgery (you don't have to subscibe to organised religion to pray, it's the only part ofthat childish malarkey that I do believe in) I'm also praying for us to find new digs after August and that we make it to Texas and back in alive for my dear sisters wedding in April.
Who can take care of Banjo for a week?
Well I'm going back to the grind, my coffee is done and people are calling me away to solve problems and deal with stuff.
I was going to take a bath and ponder:
Why do we even wash towels when they are only used to dry clean people?

Computor dumb

So Ive been locked out of my blog like a twit, and it sucks!
I'm now at the old Star E Rose Cafe on Alberta street tapping to you at what is to me, dark thirty in the morning.
When I upgraded the Blogger account for some reason itmade it so I can't post.
I get to the create post part and there is no text curser, any idea why?
This day finds my sleep at 4/24 due to work and baby and I'm up even earlyer because we have to finish a movie.
My little girl is rideing the bus to school alone today for the first time and the little one is really noisy.
We are working on a new yard show as well as getting the house ready to give back to the landlord in Aug.
One of our friends found a church off MLK we may be able to buy and live in, Caffo has to lok at it and crunch some numbers.
I'm also looking into he idea of a fleet of grease trucks for us to move into.
Chapters turn, new things replace the old and new ideas keep the world turning round.
I have sold a lot of paintings at the Ale House, it's nice to have a few coins to rub together for a change.

Computor dumb

So Ive been locked out of my blog like a twit, and it sucks!
I'm now at the old Star E Rose Cafe on Alberta street tapping to you at what is to me, dark thirty in the morning.
When I upgraded the Blogger account for some reason itmade it so I can't post.
I get to the create post part and there is no text curser, any idea why?
This day finds my sleep at 4/24 due to work and baby and I'm up even earlyer because we have to finish a movie.