KISS BANK

OK, it was the last Last Thursday of the year, cold as a W.A.S.P.'s nipple, and silly as hell.
I (of course) had to work that night, but it's ok, at least I was sick.
Y'see, sometime in one of those early mornings, when I was standing around trying to put the baby to sleep, the cute little bugger stuck a finger in my eye.
It took two days for the babygoo inoculation to go from my eye to my jaw, to my neck, and eventually full blown babygoo disease. I have one eye swollen and glued shut, no energy, a headache, and little to no support (I'm kinda last on the list within my family).

That sounds pretty crummy, and believe me it was, but there were plenty of good things too.
First off a wonderful A.V. class from the local Catholic High School came by. They chose the Clown House as their yearly project, so the place was full of kids with cameras and their teacher, asking questions and documenting.
I pulled out our video camera and began doing a little documenting of my own...well, that is, I gave the cam to some 8 year olds and we will see how that goes.
More great friends showed up.
Caffeine was dressed as a pirate and looked really good, but had to build a baby cage while all the stuff was going on, it was a race to build it before kiddo's bed time..
We had friends taking care of our chiddrens, that was so much help!
Thanks Arolia and Heather and Mike!
I had asked someone to start a fire in front of the house to keep people warm while the band played. They did, but neglected to dump the water out of the fire pit, so it took Johnny D. a long time to start a flame. Loren tried to do his bow-and-string fire start, but all the stuff was too wet.
Caffeine had da pajecta shootin Three Stooges videos on the front window, and a crowd gathered in the cold.
Soon, after much work, the fire was hot and toasty.
Pinga was on his high stilts with a 1,000,000 candle power flood light and Bizzy Bawdy was in her cheer girl motley, looking great and dancing worse.
My throat swelled shut, my other eye started gluing shut. Then my bike, which was loaded with stuff, fell over, making a big mess, and I had to be at work a long time ago.
Stressed as usual, and feeling like crap, I tried to call in sick to work.
They told me that wasn't an option.
As I passed the small throng of onlookers to mount my bike, I saw three angels on the porch rail singing.
That was KISSBANK, and they were great.
When I came home hours later I found them in the bathroom, B.G. with pants around her ankles, they had Loren stripped down, as Will Worforf Ood took photos and laughed like a jackass. Now, to really picture the scene, you have to know that they were all piled into a bathroom thats the size of a small phone booth.
I was too tired to enjoy the sight, and just bitched at Will not to break the commode.
Eventually, I went down to where they were and decided to interview them.





Kiss Bank interview part 1
Dingo: Is Kiss Bank one or two words?
Rocket Montana: One
Brandi Gump: Two.
Stella:
(5 minutes of arguing)
Stella was tired and had gone home so I promoted Will Workforf Ood to Stella, but he wasn't listening anyway so he missed the question.
D: Where is your band from?
S.M.: Portland
Stella: a class m planet, milky way galaxy, Earth, Portland.
D: Thats a stellar answer Stella! What is your group's plans? are you touring?

B.G.: We are going to S.F. for a month without Stella, so we wont have the violin, then we will be going to Illinois to pick up our raft and float down the Mississippi to New Orleans.

When I found out they weren't going to be in Portland I crumpled up the paper and disengaged until they claimed loyalty to Portland, the greatest city I've ever known.

D: The Mississippi starts in Minesota, thats a long way to drag a raft, dontcha think?

B.G.: yeah.


D: What are your bands colors?
R.M.: Turquoise & pink stripes.
B.G. No they aren't!
S: --------------

D: Where is your band going, artistically? What are your goals?

R.M. to get like 43,000 hits on our “my disgrace” page, I don't want to be famous, I want to go to outer space & beyond. I want to learn everything & invent my own instruments.

B.G.: Anything I can touch. I want my art to stretch out like the tentacles of a sea creature or to have my dredlocks evolve into a single dred that looks like a beaver tail, so I can use it as a pillow when I go to jail...except I've never been in jail.

Stella: I want to incorporate more traditional Romanian pieces to my violin solos.

D: good answer Stella. What do you think about zebras?
S: They don't exist, but narwhals are important.

D: Wht kind of music do you play?
B.G.: Electric, pirate, gypsy, vagabond.

D: Have any of you ever seen a dead body?

S:.No thank you.
B.G.: Like a grandmother?
R.M.:Yes.



I couldn't get much more of that interview because they had a friend who decided to pull a “Get a load of Me” move and with each question, she spouted a load of verbal confetti that confused the whole thing. It wasn't at all team work.
It was a chaotic interview, which may have been kinda fun, but it was too far out of context, so I had to quit.

The next morning, all of us clowns went down to the basement and woke them up for a “real live band interview,” with cameras and everything.
The plan was for Will to be silent until Caffeine and I burst in with the heavy lights and camera.
Pinga snuck into the room ahead of us, and crawled into the bed with the girls (they were all in a pile). When the lights came on, Will was to start playing banjo, Caffeine was to intro the interview and Pinga was to ask the first questions, they were all to be about the same thing “do you want to sleep with me?”
Then Caffeine was to ask highly technical questions about their act, like “ how many megahertz is your amp?
Well, upon entering, my cable got caught on a wall, and pulled it down on me (pulled the wall down, that is). We lost the surprise, but still did some heavy duty waking.
Stay tuned for that one, soon.