swing shift

Since I work the the swing shift, all I get to watch on the TV is infomercials.
That's OK, though. I'll never buy anything from the TV unless they were offering a set of press on gold teeth that have cowboy boots and oil rigs on them. I would buy that.
The one thats on now is for baldness pills and cream and plugs and a rug.
The guy is really bummed that he can't ever connect with a chick, because he looks like her dad. I understand that. it's a fact of life that some young people tend to look older than others.
Lots of guys look really hot just bald. Skin heads are kind of boring, but they look pretty cool, like jocks with better boots and less education. The American Bald Eagle is attractive, and so is the mascot from the electric company that's a giant anthropomorphic light bulb/human.
With male pattern baldness, it's kind of tricky to not look old, so just look FUN! Widen the horse shoe shape wider like a medieval catholic priest, and wear sweats with no underwear, a hoodie, socks in sandals, start a drinking problem and ride a bike thats slightly too small. mmmm, WOW!
Don't just let it grow long in the back, with the horse shoe pattern unless you're sporting dreadlocks, then you can work in a record store...or at least own a record store and tell everyone you just work there.
How about literally pouring a chrome dome?
People with real chrome domes would do well to find a lover that is really vain, so she can forever look at herself in his headgear.
I think the fashion should go back a few hundred years, and bring back the skull cap.
It would look great, and come in colors, polar fleece, and maybe denim.
There are plenty of variations, from a do-rag to a yamica. I bet we could make one that is fun to braid or attach lights to.
I bet the punkers would have skull caps sewn together out of frikkin bike tubes,
and have patches and lighter tops all over them. The hipsters would drape them over their bike seats and congratulate each other on how contrary they are. As clowns, we already have skull caps.
If you don't know what a skull cap looks like, think of "Ming" from "Flash Gordon."
"Ming the Merciless" sported what looked like an outer space Anton Levey, with the black, shiny leather. Don't wear that one unless you're an executioner by trade.
That just looks evil.
I think that if the trend caught on, dudes would find more gals that are willing to trade spit, and the ladies would have more to choose from in the dance floor gene pool.
Thats just off the top of my head.