The bike craft fare

I just got back from the fair with the Museum of Apocalyptic Bike Weaponry. It was, as I overheard some one say, "About time for a gathering in the bike community, Portland wanted it."
Put on by the lovley Jonathan Maus, the fair had lots of great stuff made out of bike parts.
Captain Insano was the only other clown that could make it at 3:30 to get to the show, and that was fine. We loaded up the bike trailer (made out of an old bed), and hitched our bikes up.
The call was for all of us to wear our regular clown faces, but instead of clown clothes we were to wear suits.
Well, at the last minute, I went to the prop locker and pulled out my "Goin ta court suit" and found it was way too frikkin small. So, folks, learn from my mistake: when you get your court suit all full of mud and rubble, don't throw it in the washing machine.
So, we had the bikes loaded and ready, and I looked at Captain Insano and said flatly, "Neither of us know where the hell we're going, do we?"
He just smiled and said, "Nope, don't believe we do, Chief".
We got on the road and decided to get close before we started asking a lot of questions.
Crossing the bridge, we ran into a fella with blue hair and a giant grin.
I asked C.I. what the dude's name was. I think he said Larry, so I started calling him Jason. Turns out his name is Jason, great guy. He neglected mailing a letter just to show us where the gig was; he only got us lost once.
At the show we saw the "A" list of Portland Bike culture, and a bunch of stuff they made.
We went in, and Jonathan was cool enough to kick us down a large table to dump a pile of weapons on.
The woman from Willy Week came over and shot a rad buncha pics of us. She said she would send me some to share with you and I did an interview with Adrian who is doing work on the same story.
The band for the event, theTrash Mountain Boys, didn't have a mic. I accidently tipped the counter guy because I didn't know he was too lazy to get them a cord. But they still were pretty good. It's the same instrumentation as what we use, so I really liked it and could relate to the problem of an acoustic band in a big room of noisy-ass bike freaks.
I want to do a gig with them, they're great! And I don't just say that because they mentioned us in a song, I really do like them.
The Sprockettes showed up and had thier sizzling calender and Rev. Phil hawked his movie and bellydanced with me.
The tech guy DAT pulled up our movies from the internet and played them on a flat TV (swear ta god the friggin thing was a flat TV).
Everyone asked how we were doing, they were talking about the house crap going on (by the way, Thanks Hammerhed for showing up in your work truck and carting away boxes of trash that those other folks dumped on us.) I thought they were talking about the impending son that's about to explode from a crotch near you next month.
They were very sweet.
CAROL WAS A CLOWN TONIGHT AND I AM SO HAPPY.
You wait and see, folks, I expect great things from Reddish the clown, I won't give away what we have planned for the 15th of this month at THE KNOW on Alberta, but you will be amazed...or at least mildly amused by the whole spectacle.
When it was time to leave, again it was C.I.and who were the cargo transport. That part of the trip SUCKED. We rode the heavy trailer (boxes of axes are really heavy and home is all uphill) into the night. I hoped I wouldn't have to explain to a cop that our bike lights were buried underneath our box of weapons.
C.I. hauled the weapons on his tall bike up to the massively big hill near Fremont street, and then we switched...I just walked the thing to the top. I'm a really powerful man, strong as an ox and twice as dumb, but pushing that load up the hill almost made me black out. I was panting and calling out for my mother. C.I. just walked next to me, carrying on his conversation as if I wasn't in need of an ambulance.
There's an idea for ya: for people who need an ambulance but don't want to support car culture, they can call a bike ambulance. Instead of Emergency Services they can be called Eventual Services. Instead of calling 911 they would just shoot up a boat flare.