Monday, November 07, 2005

Morning has busted

I woke in a cave, to the sound of a gaggle of gibbons (that's a kind of monkey). Last night I slept in caffeine's room, it's in the basement and really hard to wake up because it's so dark but this morning it was really loud. The home school classroom is right next to Caffo's room and the screeching kid noise slings right over the partition into this tired clowns ears. Other parts of my body were waking me up anyway so it was no biggie (I should re-phrase that)
I had a dress on when I got up. I didn't question it as much as I questioned how this could happen when I quit drinking a year ago. I don't think I got "lucky" so I can only guess that in the night I must have been cold and put on whatever I could find in the dark.
I don't see any reason for men and woman to have separate clothing, I get no kicks from lady's garments but older lady's apparel is always colorful and ready to alter into clown clothing.
One time Caffeine insisted that I wear a pair of T backed underthongs that she had. It was so I would learn how uncomfortable they are. We had a gig that night and I wore the nasty things under my clown outfit. BOY DID THAT HURT!
It may not have been so bad if they were my size or shaped for dude plumbing. I told some yuppies what I had going on under my duds and they failed to see the humor.
I guess the sexes should have different kinds of clothing, if anybody wore anything, anytime, then the transvestites (sounds like a rock formation) wouldn't get any thrill from making the jump, I'm just guessing. When I was a youngster, my dear Mother in Beerstain Texas used to think that my mohawk hair cut and porcupine looking leather jacket was my way of looking different, she would say "You look just like those other spiky Bozos, yer attempt to be different only drew you into the fold of another convention hahahahahaha! Then she would fly on her broom stick back up to the volcano she lived in.
I wasn't trying to look different, I just felt comfortable in giant boots, colorful hair, lots of metal things and music that sounded like garbage trucks dancing on a pile of drum equipment, it was a short jump from punk rock to clowning, the clothing got worse and the music got better.
I'm up now and about to make my rounds delivering Dawg Snax, when I go around the hood nowadays I get to hear from my neighbors that they are getting the city called on them for minor infractions, the anonymous caller sure is prolific. All our oldest friends have moved away or are moving away and the culture here is almost gone. I think they are all going to St.Johns neighborhood. I should go that way next wek and call the city on anybody who's yard I don't like.
HAHAHA
I could get a fourth job and move back to the Mississippi neighborhood, then I could call the city and complain about the big lot that the city keeps the big trucks in. Maybe they would kill themselves like they killed the Clown House. I'm not bitter folks...I just woke up in a dress.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

maybe i am playing devils advocate here, but with all this complaint about being driven from neighborhoods by "gentrification", why do you not buy a house?

oh sure, you arent going to get a huge house right on alberta, but probably for what you pay in rent, you could get a pretty huge mortgage. then, you know what?, you are the landlords. oh yeah, you will still have the city playing thug for tightwad yuppies and nervous nellies, but it really cuts out a lot of the problem. and you know what else? rent doesnt go up. most people will list home ownership as one of the ways to battle gentrification on some level.

you seem to fit the bill -- in it for the long-term, serious family unit. you aint just some portland-sampling hippies or yippies or artists who may or may not be here in 2 years. (maybe i am wrong, but its been quite a few years already, yes?)

we got our mortgage on the income of just one of us, working as an assistant in a classroom.... in other words, crappy income. with all the jobs the two of you have, it seems like you would do much better than our sprawling 700 sq ft slice of heaven.

and think, if some aspect of your doggie biscuits and/or whatever home-business is legit (i.e. bullet-buying tax-reporting), you can get a teeny bit back for that. (and, hey, if its "off the books", then you already get a big tax break; all the better for us all!).

and hey why not look for commercially zoned stuff and open some kinda bike-related dealie on the premises, too. get a business loan (they like to give femmes loans, so i have heard).

just thinkin outloud here.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Homo!
Yeah, we applied for a mortgage this year, and were approved for $80,ooo, which, unfortunately, would buy us 1/2 a duplex...or a little house in Scapoose. We did find a duplex, and were planning to take it, but the community uproar was deafening. Seems our neighbors LIKE us, or something. Because I am a sucker, I met with the housemates, found out how much more they were willing to pay, and then negotiated with the landlord. But you are absoloutely right. 2 yrs ago, when we moved up here to Alberta, I had found us a cute little rent-to-own up on Dekum. I lost the toss, on that one.
So, we have signed a new lease, and are waiting for this housing bubble to burst (or deflate, a little), so we can get ourselves a place of our own, and PUT A BIG WALL AROUND IT, SO THERE'S NOTHING ANYONE CAN COMPLAIN ABOUT!
Thanks for the advise & for caring. Someday, I hope to be a homo, too.

Anonymous said...

well, if such a community home may someday exist, owned by bike-lovin' clowns, then count me in. i pledge $100 toward down payment, $200 if there will be a bike-bizness (semi-legit-like, so as it will stick). heck, if such a time does actually come, i think a real barn-raising, fund-raising benefit should be held. if nothing else, maybe it will pay for the first mortgage payment.

heres to dreamin. til then, best of luck with the world of rentals.

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