Of mice and dogs

It has come to my attention that with the season change, so change the tri-yearly migrations of the domestic mouse. We have had a surge of the little critters charging in now that it's getting cold.
Now lucky for us, we have a friend who gets the job done.
Banjalangadingdong Rodriguez (a.k.a. banjolina jolie, Talibanjo, fuzzy lizard, banjalina Rodriguez or just plain Banjo) is the dog who works the clown house beat here in Portland. She is always looking to protect us even though sometimes she is lazy and when someone knocks she just yells at them from the couch upstairs, most of the time she wants to be where the action is.
We got her as a pup, someone dropped her off and I right away I got rid of her. I didn't want my wife Caffeine Jones find out.
I didn't want another mouth to feed...I didn't like the mouths I had (kidding).
She did find out and told me to bring the dog back so she could "Take a look".
We ended up keeping the damn dog and that's who now is the "mouse hound" of the clown house.
She started out totally freaked out and afraid of men, traffic, small rodents and once her own fart.
In time we taught her some valuable tips about living life as a humans pet and her allergy to wheat is the inspiration for Dawg Snax (our company) we made the treats and they were so much like doggie crack to all dogs that I made it into a business.
I owe a lot to Banjalina, the dog treat biz allowed me to create my own uniform and I make half my living delivering treats on a tall bike.
In the beginning, the treats are what made her want to learn tricks. Her "Doggie Door" was a bunk bed ladder propped up against the window with a treat on top, so eventually, when she wanted to go in or out she had to climb, and it's amazing how a dog responds to gentle cigarette prodding.
She jumps through hoops, corrals other dogs and can find our kid anywhere in the house or yard.
I won't tell you her lexicon of command phrases because I don't need anyone (besides Caffo and I)telling her to do things, that ruins her training. Besides, if you don't do the command and reward in the correct order she has instructions to "Eat the Face girl!"
She is in the act now, doing the hoop jumping and clowning with me. She no longer fears her farts or rodents but she has a healthy respect for traffic, she got loose on her birthday last year and was struck by a GIANT SUV WITH ONLY 2 PEOPLE AND ZERO CARGO, (I hate cars so much) she had just eaten a Dawg Snax Birthday cake and was having the time of her life when she almost lost it. She is better now only sporting a crook in her tail to tell the tale.
Nowdays, I give the command "Earn yer livin" and point to a dark spot in a closet or recycling bin, she darts in like a garbage truck off a cliff and 1 out of 10 times comes out with a mouse. She has gotten 3 this week, Caffeine got one and Blair the clown caught one in a shoe.
The shoe mouse was taken way out to the west hills and let go to bother the rich, the rest became food for the toilet.
I wish we didn't have to kill them, they don't bother me at all. The best they can do is lower the property values and the worst is when they are found by stupid or lazy people then awful poisons are broken out and all living things die.
Banjo is available for rent on the whole mouse duty, she works cheap too, just get some Dawg Snax and Banjo and I will deliver them. She will catch a mouse, you feed her a snack and I'll take the rodent for deposit on a rich persons estate.