I am from Texas

I woke up this morning having a wonderful, romantic dream about sharing company with two hot clown babes, As my eyes opened I realised the damn dog was licking my elbow and that turned out to be a great way to wake up...screaming.
I took the tall bike out to deliver Dawg Snax (Wheat free, hand made fresh by me). As I hit the trail, the traffic got me to thinking about the sprawling hell I came from, San Antonio Texas.
Talk about a place that's, for some reason, very proud of being stupid and uneducated.
"Hey boa, I bet choo thank yer really smart with yer big city ways huh? We don't do stuff like that round here. This ain't New York."

"Um... I just said Jesus was a dark complected Jew, and the nicotine patch would probably work better if it wasn't on your eye."

They squawk about it being so hot that they have to give the chickens ice water to keep them from laying boiled eggs, but they don't put it together that thousands of miles of pavement sure make it hard for trees to grow and give them shade.
I like Portland a lot. The traffic is a nightmare for folks who drive a lot, but I haven't had a license in a decade, and the only car I ever owned was a van that never went anywhere.
I do thank Texas for giving me so much to make fun of (dark comedy), but I'm really angry that my countrymen are so proud of G.W., and of the backwards way they vote against their best interest, just because he claims to be Texan.