Friday, November 30, 2018

Last night I was kicking it with a couple young bucks from Japan.

We don't speak the same language but they communicated really well that they wanted beer. I decided to take them to get some beers. On the way, one of them was telling me he is way into lap. I didn't know what lap was until he started scratching and beat boxing.
He said he is in a rap group called "The red gang". I quickly had to tell him "So, do you gangsters commit a lot of crimes?" Him; "NO NO NO not criminal."
"Good to know kid. dig this. We are at 39th and Powell Safeway, maybe not the best place to tell anyone you are in a red gang."
They were in the store a long time marveling at the scale of the Safeway food mall.
Our actor guest never made it home last night. Not surprised he is a really hansom charming fellow.
The Japanese men got themselves some good beers but only drank a couple because apparently they also tried grass for the first time with a clown.
That limited how much beer they were gonna be into but they did have a great time chilling with me on the porch.

olive and dingo gifs

Thursday, November 29, 2018

My Mom had a value that stuck with me all these years.

She didn't want any son of her's leaving his wife hanging because he was too shy to buy her tampons.
I never worried about it at all.
In fact, we used to have a pneumatic canon that could shoot 80 tampons (shucked) at a time.
That would lead to situations where three male clowns would be arguing about how to get "the most bang for the buck".
Walgreens: "Nothing should be banging with that product sir."
So once again duty calls. I'm more than happy to go procure some vagandages for my beloved mate.
That's where my prowess ends.
 If she didn't tell me (or i forgot) what kind to get.  I'm stuck making a choice that can be miles from correct.
The only thing more fun than being a dude standing in line with a box of tampons is being a dude standing in line to exchange incorrect tampons. Yeah everyone else in line knows what went down.
My choice this day: Pink one on top-right.
The lower ones show the lady making a "Staying Alive" disco pose and the woman next to her looks like she's falling out of a boat.
I pick the top right one because it lets her actually leap around gracefully...also it's hot pink...and technically the most bang for the buck.

talking to someone in "actorspeak" works for us

We live in a house that rents out fancy rooms. I learned that the man staying in one of the rooms right now flies in from LA to catch his kid's HS sports matches (being vague for his privacy).We wondered, who can afford such expensive commuting.
So getting home today we met him. I recognized him right away as an actor from the TV. I don't watch TV so if I recognized him that is a clue to how he can afford the travel. Super cool dude, so glad he uses his money to support his kid.
We talked about Belgian beers and kid raising but it soon evolved into an hour in the kitchen talking about camera shots, his directing career, editing tricks, acting motivations etc.
All this is in our wheelhouse as well so we were riveted.
It felt like it should have been an acting podcast. I'm not a sports fan but i do like any school sports.
Maybe we can talk him into letting us go to his kids game. If so I will be in the clear to take a selfie and you can decide if and where you seen this cool cat before.

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

"Catching up" isn't the same as it once was.

 Last night we got to catch up with our friend after a long time and many life chapter changes. 

As we went over the past few years we kept saying "Yeah, I saw that." about each other's life, art and health. 
This makes me question if we actually were actually catching up. We were only physically separated but online, none of us missed a beat. We communicated and have been encouraging to one another for the whole time. Now "catching up", means getting the full story and actually hearing each other giggle.
We are so glad to have our friend back.

Monday, November 26, 2018

well known clown I am

People know who I am. Part because I'm an entertainer who rides around 10 feet in the air on a tallbike, but also because I been here 20 years.
I'm accustomed to not having to introduce myself as much as ask other what their name is.
One thing I find goofier than assuming everyone knows who I am is the opposite. I assume they haven't a clue who I am.
So when someone is giving me the  "Whoa it's really him" business, I introduce myself.
"Hi I'm Dingo. I'm a clown."
Then the fluttery tude goes out the window.
Suddenly I'm the dummy. lol
"I know who you are Dingo." LOL
Good ice breaker.

We got up way early today

O was feeling ill so I cuddled her to sleep early. We both passed out. I got up at 6, it was still dark. Stove said 6:00 as I made coffee. Olive got up feeling much better and started putting her clown drag on. Then she discovered something important. It was 6 pm. We only slept a couple hours. We are 14 hours away from needing to be making these moves. Time warp.

Having my morning coffee and doobie tonight on the porch. A couple from Japan who are staying at our place just walked up from an evening on the town. I felt a bit self conscious stinking up the place. We hadn't met and I know the pot is highly illegal there. Then they put me at ease. Dude gives me the slow smile and nod then pulls out a spliff of his own. They are here for a cannabis safari. LOL. They have Portland themed shop over in Japanistan. My new friends are all loaded up with Kush, voodoo donuts and coffee fun.

Friday, November 23, 2018


We live in a house that rents out rooms.
Right now both the rooms have people from the exotic country of...Washington State.
They are here for Black (no sales tax) Friday.
I wonder if the savings cover the price of the posh room?
Olive and I forgot to put the heat on twice this month.
It's not our style so we fumble that ball sometimes.
The first time the rooms had people from Winnipeg and Ottawa. They didn't seem to notice one bit.
The next time it was Miami and Mumbai India in the rooms. They noticed a LOT for some reason.

Thursday, November 22, 2018

fixing a wall after work.

falling out and hangin round.

Grateful for my wife.

Grateful for my wife. 
I just heard some women (staying with us) from Asia, "Olive doesn't wear bra. While we are in the United states we won't wear bras either" "Agreed"
 So we are all just sitting around not wearing bras and being grateful.

Sexy situations happen to me a lot. It takes great discipline for me not to mention such situations online. I learned from experience that It's hard not to come off wrong. It's also a great way to potentially lose said situations. 
This dining room revelation is different because I don't count it as a sexy situation. 
This is about freedom Yo.
If they are not allowed to possess untarped breasticles, then I'm darn proud (standing in diningroom table waving US flag) they get that freedom here.

Things these folks from Asia have been able to do at our house (that they can't at home.)
1. Critisize their/our government leadership.
2. Try pot
3. Own breasts.
Not bad. I don't mind being known for that. 
Things our new Friends noticed:
1. USA women often don't wear bras.
2. Nobody seems to give a shit (I'm paraphrasing the broken English).

I had to clarify, Portland and Eugene people won't care. Minneapolis is hip BUT many parts of the USA are not gonna have it. Even here in Portland there was a church at the last Naked bike ride who were making a concerted effort to talk people out of naked and into Jesus.
Rural religious folks who were brought up literally demonizing sex and objectifying women just aren't gonna be cool with it. Bralessness would get the same reaction in the bible belt that it would in Afghanistan. I had to warn them for their own safety.
Our neighbor's shutters have been permanently shut ever since the day they were doing dishes and saw a lot more of Olive than normal. lol. Oops.
I'm around boobs a lot more as a kid clown than a cabaret entertainer.
Boobs aren't the star of the show but they are very common in the romper rooms. I'm desensitized since way back. Been doing adult and kid clowning for 20 years.
The last thing I ever want to do is have a Mom follow my line of vision straight to her chest while she feeds her kid. I make sure to be looking anywhere else when they whip out the teat. Sometimes I look through them. 
That said, we get hit on by a lot more women in the kid world than the nightclub.
It's a great town to be a clown.
Also staying in one of the rented rooms is a newly married couple from India. They are esteemed cancer researchers. I love the delightful accent as she hollers at her man across the house. 
"We have only been here a few hours, why do you suddenly need excuses to be in the dining room... of a house you've never been in?" 

Sunday, November 18, 2018

This just in from The Land of the Rising Sun.

Some of you may recall my story of meeting the couple from Japan who were staying at our house. 
We had rad adventures considering the language barrier. While here, it was clear, my "Homie from Kobe" Gen was obsessed with the idea of pizza. 

 Not a lot of ovens live Japanside. Well Gen just sent me these pics. He banged them rocks together and presto. Dude made a pizza pie from scratch just like I showed him. Rock on Donkey Kong! I hope he didn't use a microwave oven.

Someone auditioned for our clown gang yesterday.

 We said, "We would like to see a lot more of double your weight and height a few times and try again."

Friday, November 16, 2018

lovely tip

I got this lovely tip yesterday from a parent of a fan (who has long since outgrown us.) Folks used to bring the teacher an apple, I'm not a teacher and Portland parents have very green thumbs. 

This stuff is so sticky it sticks to the wall. Dad knew what he was doing and managed to keep the budmold away as well as the pilferers. 
I actually got two of these yesterday. I got another mason jar of chronic from a different parent. 
This is why I love October. 
Everyone is harvesting those cannabis trees they grew all Summer. Thanks! I love a treat that comes with instructions.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

working hard.

car alarm

My neighbors car alarm is going off. I look outside and discover she don't have a car alarm. The prowler is just honking the horn, flashing the lights and yelling wooooo wooooo.  wooooo wooooo-wooopwooop neenawneenawneenaw weeeeo weeeeo woop woop.
I love D.I.Y. culture.

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

"What is, Keeping hair sculpture dry?"

"What is, Keeping hair sculpture dry?"
I just imagined this as a not-so-distant future Jeopardy clue. "Why did President Trump snub fallen WW1 troops in 2018?"
HEY! I just noticed that the Jeoprardy music is the same tune as I'm a little Tea pot. LOL #whatsupwiththat?

theremin doing an impression of a car alarm

I thought someone in the neighborhood was playing the saw. Then i realized it's Olive exploring the highest pitches of her voice.
Sounds like a theremin doing an impression of a car alarm.
I'm outside and it's pretty loud even though she is inside on the third floor. It must be coming up from the vents. lol I love when she sings covers of heavy metal songs. Olive makes Judas Priest sound like a Disney movie.

Retraction alert.

Retraction alert. I made a mistake yesterday. Hi Gang, it's yer old pal Dingo the clown. We often are compelled to do the same material over and over because we know it's safe. 
New stuff is hit or miss and can come with some mistakes. 
We won't get to stay the People's clowns very long if we make a lot of mistakes. 
Yesterday we were doing a wonderful tea party to a packed Know Thy Food cafe. 
Olive and I were involved with some goofy banter where we were telling jokes. She did her three jokes and then it was my turn to close the deal. 
The plan was for me to go with a non-sequitur. Knock Knock, who's there? Banana. That's it. 
My daughter made that up when she was three and it was a riot to her. In the lead up to the joke, my mischievous brain was coming up with lines I definitely should NOT say. "banana hammock" came to mind. 
Then it was my turn. All was going well until the punchline part. Knock Knock, who's there? Banana, Banana who? ...and I stupidly pronounce "Banana hammock!" 
As that rediculous phrase was falling out of my face, it spilled out in slow motion. I had plenty of time to wonder how this unfortunate moment came to pass. 
"Banana hammock" went blissfully over the heads of the shorty's and many parents were looking at me like Olive was...with some curiosity and concern. 
They quickly seemed to forgive me and we moved on with the show. I'm sorry I said "banana hammock" Yall. 
We are going back to the same place today (Know Thy Food cafe) for our weekly 10:30 storytime show.
 I promise to keep my language on task and out of any innuendo that is too obvious. Thank you Portland for being so forgiving. ~Dingo
 — at Know Thy Food Cooperative.

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Canada in the house.

We stay in a house that rents out rooms. I'm delighted to hear some hallway introductions.
They are just realizing they are all from Vancouver. "Neighbors at home and in the States!"
They are a pair of 20 something women who are exploring the world and a 30 something couple on vacay who brought their bikes with them.
Everyone is dialed into all the things to do in Portland so they don't need "single serving friends".
This house wouldn't be renting rooms if the owner (who lives here too) hadn't been in a car crash.
Massive med bills messed up her nest egg.
Gotta rent rooms to keep the bills paid but what an amazing spot she created. Living in a nice crib keeps our standards up and diplomacy is what clowns do so we are way happy.
We are perfect for this real life sitcom.
I'm glad the clowns have this opportunity to be (or not to be) sin

Why You Don't Want X-Ray Vision

Friday, November 09, 2018

Prioridades This is the track I'm into right now. No idea what they are saying.

I really like the music in this one. :)

My wife likes to give me little quizzes as I pass by.

My wife likes to give me little quizzes as I pass by.
 "Hey do you know what a walking foot is? 
I say "Yeah I had a bit of the old walking foot back in 90, thank goddess I got picked up by a country doc while hitch hiking or I never would have got it looked at boy howdy."
        "So you don't know..."
me: "No."

Thursday, November 08, 2018

chilly morning ride home

Great day for a chilly, brisk ride home from work. 

This morning before our show I walked into Henry Higgins bagels.. I ordered coffee and a bagel, tried to pay, as usual they wouldn't let me. A large group of 20 somethings were sitting at a table nearby. As I waited, one of them noticed me and started talking about me like I couldn't hear them. "Oh I forgot to tell you (to a friend) Portland is the kind of town where famous people walk around and visit shops like normal. look there, That's a famous clown called "Oliver". LOL! I wasn't about to correct them. My order came up and the barista didn't miss a beat, "Order for Oliver!" and handed me my loot.
Teens at burger joint drive thru: "Dingo, can i please get a free balloon, it's my birthday." Me: "You bet!" I don't care how old you are, be polite and I'm happy to break my stride.

Wednesday, November 07, 2018

Interesting night last night. I was doing my thing (watching soap box derby videos) and suddenly my social media feed was crowded with election results.

 It looked like the end of a Star wars movie. 
Cheers and hugs and music. A lot of villains got vanquished and the nation's character was healed a little bit. 100 women elected as reps, queer folks, black folks, Natives and Latinos, all kinna folks who never get a say got elected. 
The bigoted lady who wouldn't let gay folks marry was trounced by a gay guy. YES! 
I raced upstairs expecting Olive to be elated. She wasn't. She had results feeds up too. 
She likes the wins but the losses were sobering. People still voted red despite Trumps fear-mongering and racist easy tricks. Voter suppression and gerrymandering are still huge problems. 
Also the top of the Dem party are as beholden to banks and war profiteers as the Republicans. Pelosi and Booker are far more likely to side with pharmaceutical companies than grannies. We shouldn't be voting for "superdeligates" ever. Est. Dems aren't as manipulative as the reds but they are just as greedy and happy to not fight for things. 
They are masters of snatching losses from the jaws of victory. We don't need people who get paid to lose. 
For the thousands of kids we see every year to have a good future to inherit, we need more than a blue wave. 
Everyone needs to be informed and progressive to keep the country from slipping into chaos and environmental upheaval. Olive did end with a good note. Everything we voted for passed. I'm glad we are in agreement with a majority of our neighbors. I'm sorry for the folks who didn't get what they wanted. I don't have any ill will to folks who voted against my wishes. You followed your trail of conclusions and did what ya had to do, just like me. Big biz lost in Oregon, it's still a blue state but people need to be involved. 
Politics are NOT like sports teams. Ya gotta do more than cheer. 
Even leaders we voted for need lots and lots of over-site and watchdog groups to keep em shooting straight. Thanks for participating in democracy everyone. Congrats to all the "justice democrats" who won.

Sunday, November 04, 2018

I got something useful from the republican guy running for governor.

He got a lot of money from big biz (presumably to let them pollute, sell off our delicate environment and privatize public spaces) but the money took the form of ads on youtube. I like the ads because I do kid songs.
 What the lady is saying is manipulative but the "meter" she says it in is perfect for us to put better words to. It's really good. This rhythm scheme is right in my wheelhouse so I recognized it right away.
 It's so easy to follow I could regurgitate that hideous rap from memory after only hearing it a few times. It works. 
I think it should be better used teaching the alphabet or road safty. She isn't looking for informed folks, she is singing a lullaby that is easy for "low info" voters to follow. So thank you human nightmare for that. Can't wait to re word your manipulations. I really hope you don't get elected. Got kids? I suggest holding your nose and voting blue. Then infiltrate that mess as well. It takes a village.