Monday, August 31, 2009

Sideshow Speakeasy #14 wednesday!

Last week we performed for a huge crowd including two tables full of laughing cops and the City's Coroner. They bought the Ringmaster William Batty a shot!
14 shows and no two the same all while crazy ass downtown happens outside the big window!
Thanks for coming out Portland and making our little extravaganza a big hit.



1 SW 3rd
on Burnside

a nick-bag of entertainment

with special musical guest






man about clown

with your hosts

It pisses me off that I gotta forgive people or risk my own health.

My religion is science so I looked out I shouldn't stay mad because it's a systemic overload to the body.

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Your mother criticized your parenting skills. Your friend gossiped about you. Your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness and even vengeance.

But when you don't practice forgiveness, you may be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Here, Katherine M. Piderman, Ph.D., staff chaplain at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn., discusses forgiveness and how it can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.
What is forgiveness?

There's no one definition of forgiveness. But in general, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentments and thoughts of revenge. Forgiveness is the act of untying yourself from thoughts and feelings that bind you to the offense committed against you. This can reduce the power these feelings otherwise have over you, so that you can a live freer and happier life in the present. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.
Doesn't forgiving someone mean you're forgetting or condoning what happened?

Absolutely not! Forgiving isn't the same as forgetting what happened to you. The act that hurt or offended you may always remain a part of your life. But forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness also doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act.
What are the benefits of forgiving someone?

Researchers have recently become interested in studying the effects of being unforgiving and being forgiving. Evidence is mounting that holding on to grudges and bitterness results in long-term health problems. Forgiveness, on the other hand, offers numerous benefits, including:

* Lower blood pressure
* Stress reduction
* Less hostility
* Better anger management skills
* Lower heart rate
* Lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse
* Fewer depression symptoms
* Fewer anxiety symptoms
* Reduction in chronic pain
* More friendships
* Healthier relationships
* Greater religious or spiritual well-being
* Improved psychological well-being

Sounds Great Mayo folks with a funny name I like that!
I agree with all of the above list except the "Less Hostility" part.
I usually feel quite better the very moment after hostility is concluded no matter what the outcome.
Of course thats no way for a kid's Dad to act.

Friday, August 28, 2009

the bank robbed US?

WOW Bank of America loan sharked us last week.
Before going out of town I gave Olive $500 to put in her bank.
I have been saving up merch money for stage equipment and didn't want to lose an apron full of 20s to a house break in.
Well, turns out she had an over draft of a few bucks and because of it I lost my wad anyway.
Every time she used her card the %35 interest rate went up and by the time we got home we lost all the show's money, all her money and they said there was nothing they could do.
Three things piss me off beyond repair:
losing track of my children, losing my bike, losing my mutha flucking merch money!
Back when I was in the Corporate Circus I used to lose cash all the time (in the stands)and they used to get so mad at me.
I had to think about this... I did all that work just to help bail out a bank WTF?
I tell ya friends... as a kid, my hero and roll model was Conan the barbarian.
My first thoughts in any situation are W.W.C.D?
What Would Conan Do?

I have owned a real battle ax for many years now...what do you think would happen if a guy who has trained for years to stay on a tall bike even when attacked is angry enough and using a battle ax instead of a jousting pole?
I would have my money back as long as the dough was in the parking lot and nobody shot bullets at me.
I know it sounds idiotic but it's fun to fantasize about the slightly plausible scenarios.
I'm immune to pepper spray by now and rubber pellets have only gotten me angrier during past political would be bullets bringing this clown down.
A small car may be able to knock me out but a big car has no chance...that is without a gun.
Another hero was Jessie James until I realized what a racist prick he was...besides, I really find guns distasteful for combat and robberys.
In my opinion warring and pillaging are a knife and club kind of sport.
Dueling one on one is and amazingly great use for guns!
Yeah back to reality...I lost a ton of money and now I gotta just hustle some more sheckles and make sure my babies get taken care of.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose...My life is fun and exciting so I just can't get as angry as I used to get.
I live in the cradle creativity...I'm a Rockstar's Rockstar in fabulous, historic Portland!
My years of high adventure across this country have paid off. All the times enduring freezing cold, marching sick, being broke and fighting for my life have developed into a Utopian Renaissance for me.
There is more money out there, my shows are packed every night.
I was expecting...and even looking forward to getting all mad and running up to the bank half cocked and flailing but the rage never came.
I looked at my woman Olive...she smiled...I smiled back...I felt no anger at all.
That pisses me off!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Great way to spend a Saturday!

The ways of the Circus are older than the nightclubs, older than the
banks, older than the cities. These most ancient of performative
traditions have always existed just slightly to the left of the
Mundane World. Now, at the first flickering of the 21st Century, our
madcap clan is once again shedding its skin and remaking itself in the
funhouse mirror image of The Second Great Depression.

To aid and abet this latest glorious rebirth, Wanderlust has
established itself as the premiere circus operation in The City of
Roses. Helmed by Noah Mickens and Nick "The Creature" Harbar, and
drawing from a roster of performers, designers and technicians from
all the greatest shows on Earth we will not rest until the whole of
the world has been entertained.

And don't forget this Wednesday at Dante's
See me and the Wanderlust Bosses doing the Sideshow Speakeasy! - w. Ashcan Orchid, Mighty Mighty Acrobats, NagaSita, and Barnaby the Bear!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

For your records...

What I'm eating...
Quinua, tomato, cucumber, feta, onion, dandylion leaf salad it's RAD!
then it's garlicy pesto pasta.

What I'm watching...
Red Dwarf bad ass brit-com in space!

What I'm avoiding...
second hand smoke, MSG, Corn syrup, prostate exam.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

My woman had my back!

I had some depressing events in my life that really got me down. I stupidly decided to deal with it by eating a lot of ice cream.
I was a glorious alcoholic for many years and through much tribulation I have been sober for years.
Now that I have stopped drinking I guess I'm hard wired to crave lots of sugar when I'm down.
My kids were with me as I had a Gall attack. I was messed up with cold sweats, nausea and an amazing fever.
It scared my kids to see big bad Dad down ...but not Olive she had my back.

This wonderful woman fed and read the kids, found me medicine, fed me, cleaned me and kept her hands and lips close.
The kids still managed to have a good time and the next day they took off with their Mom to go boating.
Then in walks our housemate M.B. with her friend Steff.
The two walked in the door and immediately began shedding clothing. It was a hot day and the house is dark and cool.
By now I'm used to that show sometimes I feel like the luckiest man on the planet.
We all got in front of the fan on the floor and I hoped the room didn't smell like my G.I. tract. I spent the day laying around with three half naked, super hot 20 year olds and all I could think about was "please Dingo, don't ass explode on your friends".
This cowboy needed bed so a slugged off to our room.
It's funny that my whole body was incapacitated for two days but when Olive came for her doc payment my penis wasn't sick at all.
Fun time was temporarily as you might matter how attractive the girl on your tummy is...stomach don't care about's thinking about... churning and farting and sharting!
Y'know that feeling you get when water goes up your nose?
That was my whole body, it was awful even with all of Olive's loving.
Olive didn't even freak out when I thrice shat myself in bed.
The worst part was... every time I shat myself it was a surprise because i was so knocked out I kept forgetting what was up.

Now my diet is again changing; none or little fat, raw greens and more sleep!
I'm so glad the show got canceled tonight... I challenge you to tell me how I can be funny with human excrement running down my leg...a boner...hunched over and with no facial expressions.
Olive had my I'm getting better so I can have her back!

pretty cool bike in this episode of Hells Kitchen!

That chef is so Punk Rock!

Tonights show cancled

Bummer, the venue isn't as ready as the owners would like it to be...I guess a construction effort took longer than expected and they don't want patrons stepping in nails.
I'm disappointed and all but also relieved...I'm sick as a dog (that is sick)today and I have been trying to get my health back in time for curtain @10pm.
Next week we are at our usual home stage Dante's sorry yall!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

I became 40 today!

I didn't think I would make it this far.
I woke to great sensations and a bounty of fruit and bread.
Now I'm 40 and Olive is 20 needless to say, we are both fascinated with each other emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
I'm out of herb but Olivia always has her hands all over me so I'm fine.
We took a relaxing ride then walk to "mile post 5" a huge art show in SE Portland, we have friends who have incredible installations there. It was fun and you should look it up and go if you live in Portland.
THEN... then my day got sucky.
I got ripped off at a yard sale for a shoddy $20 PS2 game.
I never play video games other than the ones that come with a lap top but I decided to get myself a toy since 40 year old culture is a mystery to me.
A fella named Chad Larson (aka DJ Gravylegs) sold me a $20 video game that he said worked fine. He seemed like a great guy and I liked him right away...i trusted him.
I had to go to a pawn shop and buy an additional $60 worth of games , controller and memory card now I'm at $80.
I was so happy when I got home and it turned to sadness when I realized it didn't work! I looked it up on the internet, took it apart...and lets just say I ended up with a grocery bag full of junk!
I went back and asked for a refund but the dude told me through a friend (whom I also liked a lot)sold "AS IS"!
I was shocked...I wouldn't want my name on any bad customer service ever!
You never know what people have myspace profiles and can post bulletins about how crappy you treat the world.
The funny part is... I was going to hire his DJ service. Glad that's never gonna happen!
See how it is, ya burn a clown for a little $20 and you may lose quite a bit more hahaha!
After calming down with some car lovin I went and bought myself a brand new PS2.
Tim was the sales associate who pulled my new unit out of the glass box.
I told him all about Chad Larson (aka DJ Gravylegs) and he decided to go coupon clipping for old Dingo.
It was marked $129.99 and he got it down to $99.00 HAPPY BIRTHDAY D!
So I saved what the scoundrel burned me for plus some...I needed that.
now I'm watching my old lady play "Call of Duty." Tonight she is making me spaghetti and Buffalo balls con pesto y queso and a mango eaten out of her sweet ass.
I feel pretty good for riding "Over the hill" on a tall bike, I got healthy kids, a wonderful partner, and my ex wife turned sister just handed me a divine birthday present.
Dawg Snax!
Remember our family owns a dog treat company and she is doing so well leading tours of haunted Portland that she handed the company back to me.
I'm going to use part of the new income to increase my child support payments the EX is gonna shit herself.
Ooohp, Olive just died on the screen. Guess it's my turn. Gonna go save the world from ze germans! Hehe :)

Monday, August 10, 2009

funny nixon tapes (click)

The day the dog witnessed "The Rapture".

Once upon a time there was a dog nemed Capt'n Fred.
He was on a side show bike rodeo gig in Washington State when he witnessed a miracle!
The truck he was riding in passed a car blasting Contemporary, Christian, Country music.

Well the Rapture must have happened because the clouds darkened and the car behind suddenly burst into flames from within...they must have been "On Fire" with the Holy Spirit!

...then the car exploded spraying the flaming bodies all over the surrounding terrain.

Cap'n Fred was fine with that out come.


Trip to Long Beach Washington...let it load and then use the "down" arrow)

We made it out to Long Beach Washington and had one HECK of a swell time.

For starters, we gotta tie all our bikes to a truck, load our stuff and leave Portland.

I was told the dog I would be riding with likes to fart...I told him that I just ate a vat of boiled cabbage and BRING IT ON HOUND DOG!

We wuz packed so tight, i farted and it took 20 min. for me to eventually smell it.

Circus tent was pitched next door to the Cop Shop.

The pile of bikes on the roof caught (and killed) a bat. Capt. Jay ate it after playing with it for an hour.His special Hillbilly genes keep him from getting rabies...or he now has rabies.

How they roll in Long Beach.

Pin Up Girl contest!


In the museum.

My Fave! Charlotte Treuse,

The prize!

The Winner!


She loves my smell.

Lucy Daggar

The Dicers

Baby Le'Strange

Sadie LaGuerre