We all love SKYE BLUE!

She fills the house with food, figgers all the bills, makes costumes, doles money, gives jobs and back rubs, this lady ROCKS!

Ollie guards the horses...

while I make flyers for the next show!

YAY BAR FLOOZies

The two gals who always grab my ass at the Open Mic at Ladd's Inn.
That's where we are most Thursday Nights after hosting our own Open Mic.
That's Mike Spriggo on guitar, he is my favorite singer, here he terrorizes the Statler Bros, song "Flowers on the Wall".

Ollie and I made some friends last week.

We met at Angelo's on Hawthorne one night.



One is a cigarette fairy and the other a baker who likes to get baked, turns out they live three houses down and wanted to meet us.

found online

Belmont open mic

Topher busted a clock

He took apart a clock I no longer needed and made a mic that hooks up to my bike.
It worked until he busted it.

OPEN MIC TONIGHT 7PM

Muddy Waters Coffee House on Belmont SE

last night

My kids were here and my boy left me frazzled and weakened, he is a handful.
Caffeine Jones was happy to help me and she rescued me while dealing with moving, what a nice lady.
I love it when I tell someone I'm beat up by the challenges my two year old brings and they dissagree with me.
Especially if they don't have kids thats the best, they have lots of answers...bad ones.
I'm looking at people I admire and how they deal with anger, I have to.
The kids moved with mom to some new digs, the dog has a new big yard and they live closer, thats great I love my kids so much.
My daughter has motor skills, language,she can negotiate and she gives me hope that the boy will someday be my best and brightest leutenant, as for now he is a hurricane.
The boy spilled so much milk (that I cried over) my room is not vegan, it took a long time to get it all cleaned up.
I cleaned my room and then for some reason didn't stop.
I tricked my pad out with lights, paintings, and a must...clean bedding.
In no time it was decked out, cozy and ready for company.
I called a girl I like a LOT and stupidly only said, "Hey I'm calling to report that I have clean sheets" she said "OK" and we hung up.
She called back and said "Tell me what movies are playing on your cable tv."
I looked, I have 10 or so movie channals, I could only fortell what movies were on at the moment and they all sucked.
I didn't know that later that night a string of baddass movies would come on.
So I didn't have a good report on movies and she unfortunately decided not to come over.
The thing is, I had spent hours making my nest cozy for her in particular, with the idea of spending quality time.
She declined over my not knowing what movies were, I felt like the visit may not have been much fun after all, I guess she wanted to miss the point.
She missed out on super fun, circus, movie, massage, lust night!
I had a great time anyway nyaaaa!.
I hung out, made some money and then spent the whole night watching movies in a cozy room.
I really should tender myself to people that want to hang with me and that appreciate me.
There is a house full of women down the street who love Ollie and I.
We have been flirting with them for a week or so, they were getting ready for bed and we don't know each other well enough for the date I was looking for.
I talked to them briefly, had some good conversation plus they gave me a cookie!
I did art, hung out with Ollie and Skye Blue, worked on the show and concentrated of self comforting as a hobby.
I had a great night.

troops (click here) everything I like about COPS and Star Wars

Today my kid turns 10

Happy birthday RPM!
(tearing up)10 years little girl, and what a fine young woman you have become, I'm so proud of you.
You are funny, strong, athletic, smart, you can do math better than me and you have never been to jail.
I loved the day you asked me what a "Wallmart" was .
Now the thought of waking up TWO bus rides away from my baby every day is an anguish that I wouldn't want visited on any parent.
For your first four years or so, the two of us were together 24-7, you taught me how to settle down, you saved me from jail and alcoholism, you tought me how to use my manliness for things I never thought possible.
And your brother...well we love him.
I love you little girl and we are gonna have a great weekend.

SYMPHONIC @ ON AIR Saturday, April 19th, 2008 10pm till 4am or later... 1300 N. River St. Portland (underneath the east side of the Fremont bridge)

This is my friend LULU, you should go to this event she is holding.
SYMPHONIC SATURDAY APRIL 19TH, 10PM TILL 4AM @ ON AIR WAREHOUSE THEATER...
Turn Style Productions presents "Symphonic", a music inspired art event, April 19th at ON AIR. With live music by Reid DeFever - former percussionist of Soul In The Machine, Zita - annonymous-i, and Andi Lou. Fire acts, contact juggling, hooping, burlesque, and belly dance by performance artiststs like Revolva, Synergy, Earth DescenDance, Ivory, Baby Le'Strange and more. Later on our favorite local DJs will move you. Stick around for Micheal Gabriel, Jacob Poe, Mr. Clean, Kepi, and Bubbles. Alos, lights by 1313 Effect. Show starts at 10:00PM with sounds from Lady Groove's funk collection. Arrive early and browse our gallery with visual art by Toon, Keese, dang, and Phonique or make it your after party till 4:00AM or later. $10 at the door 18+ only. Food, drinks, and merchandise for sale. More artists TBA. Hosted by LuLu. ON AIR is located at 1300 N. River St. in Portland, underneath the east side of the Fremont bridge. For more info please visit www.myspace.com/turnstyleproductionspdx or e-mail turnstyleevents@aol.com.

I'm on a quest for the perfect moment in the perfect show,

Heres the "Behemoth" on the day I bought it and some amps, look how well they stow on the bike.

It's all here in Portland, this place has all the people, talent and skills to build a global shitball circus, I don't need that much to be happy.
I'm only looking to make a show thats profitable enough to buy all the crew houses and have a castle for me and whomever Mrs. Dingo is to rage in,...oh..and it's gonna need to be surrounded by a roller coaster and have a pipe organ in it, then I'm good.
My plan is to start the night club show quiet, minimal, primitive dark primeval with finger painting cave clowns doing fire and drummy music and build it to tell some of the story of mankind in circus acts.
!.primal (sticks, stones, fire)
2.Middle ages (knives, art, fools with food, plague.)
3 Victorian. (escape, spiritualists, shadow puppets, blue grass, sexy tricks)
4 Current moment in time (electronic music, glow in the dark, big rock n roll finale)
We will end it an hour and a half or four acts later as a giant technicolored explosion of humanity (and humanity in pantimime animal costumage) we have a good story with a bar fight, magic, monsters, a mess Wanna hang with us?

photo's off the tall bike, on Belmont street

look who got here!

cute kids outside the Clinton st. Theatre

He told this young lady's boyfriend that she was leaving him because he was crummy in the sack.
He told the guy that he would be making out with her from now on and if he didn't like it piss off.
The guy appreciated the gesture and they kept friendship, the ex is now stalking her.


In related news the victor in this love triangle was out of options in the housing/job rat race bullshit.
Stupidly he has joined the military and is shipping out to boot camp in May where they will teach him to be cannon fodder in Iraq.
I squirted a fat load of watergun at the top of the kids head to show him what"s to come.
Ollie and I were freaked out that his head drank all the water, there was no splash and it was a "super soaker" round, hope it works with lead..
I told him about how my criminal record kept me out of Iraq in the 90s and how glad that happened.
They called me a Goth/cowboy" awwww.

AD BIKE!

Don't call the number on ad bike, it's a dead line for some reason.

"Skunk" and "Rabbit"

They are "Bucket"'s biggest fans.

checking for clones

sorry about the blurry photo, I was running.

I got a call at 2:30 am from some friends in a condo far from my place.
""Dingo, this is "Her" "She" and "Him" and we are having a toppless party, ya gotta come right over Dingo ride your bike!
Just when i had finished my bowl of Bran Flakes and thought my night was over, I was getting my jacket on and heading out the door.
On the way out, I grabbed some organic peanut butter and some slightly questionable grape jelly.
It was exciting in my shaking hands and belly, I do stuff like this all the time but it always wakes all my senses.
Powerful Sex, Falling in love, engaging in single combat, jumping off a rooftop on fire, all places I can do magic from..as well as Peanut butter and jelly booby paintings.
Funny thing about gut feelings, my brain and body knew that a tall bike just wouldnt get me there fast enough so without thinking a picked a jankey road bike from the hall and BOOM I was there.
I forget how lumbering my bike is.
Soon as I got there I had a wonderful view from the ground, a garage door opened and in I went.
First I photographed everyone's belly buttons to later weed out any clones or androids.




I started right in, finger painting with the peanut butter right away they were happy I brought it.


My back!

I took my time, so did they, the music was Hendrix.

Chocolate! A good time was had by all.

we are getting ready for the MCBF!!!

people don't give a shit about shit (click here)

We found out that boiling down human excriment can be a source of photo sensitive matierial, I'm just gonna buy glow in the dark paint but after the fall of mankind's rat race, we may need to boil our poo to get glow in the dark paints.

Clown House Kids:"Of course 350 pound motorcycle cops fall out of the sky ,we are with Dad."

We witnessed a funeral parade T-bone an oncoming car off Hawthorne street last Sat., a cop got splayed out in the street real horrorshow. I felt bad for him having been in a lot of motorbike wrecks in my life.
We never saw him get up, only the stretcher for him, bet he thought it would be a boring day.
It happened right near where I was walking with my two children, they looked a bit bored it wasn't until they saw me jumping up and down that they realized it's not normal for a 250 pound motorcycle cop to fall out of the sky in a loud, crunchy mess.

They were so unfazed I guess because they have seen heavy metal, screaming, scraping vehicles crashed by people in costume thier whole lives.


Bucket the Ferret was also unfazed, mostly because he was at home engaged in mortal combat with a rubber chicken.

ever meet my son Bruce?

Here he is enjoying a $250.00 yogurt bowl.