"Costume event or Portland?"

 "Costume event or Portland?" It's a thing that has evolved about our town. An ongoing conversation visitors have that rarly includes us. Sometimes theres a costume event like comicon or halloween, other times it's a regular Portland person expressing thier freedom to dress themselves without any scrutiny from straingers. I snapped this today. I'm gonna guess Portland. Here is why !. It looks like clothes not a costume. 2. This person looks like this every day. I seen them many times. 3. They arent performing. They are just having thier life. So thats how ya tell. 

earworms

 I'm at Eagle Eye. Someone just said, "Hey Dingo, I bet you get tired of hearing the same karaoke songs over and over...Dingo..DINGO!" I pulled out my ear buds. "I'm sorry did you say something?"

Milton

 That hurricane is headed right at my Dad's place. I think he will be uneffected. He stays underground (6 feet). Who is the one naming these things. "It's a monster storm, lets name it after a kid who gets his lunch money taken. What was the last huge storm? "Wilma" I guess they thought it needed the name of a Flintstones vitamin.

zz maybe

 Last week my friend (I was on Portlandia with) called me asking for a never ending hankerchief. It's a clown prop. His job is entertaining rockstars and he had ZZ Top with him. I don't know why they needed that. I told him where to get one and then asked him "Please bring ZZ to the Eagle Eye." I need that for the social media angle plus it would blow us all away to meet them. He said no promises but he would try. Then I went to KJ Dan and said "ZZ Top may be arriving in the next hour Please be singing a ZZ Top song when they come in." They didn't show up but my guy now knows I wont card any of his clients if I have several of thier albums.

I'm not the entertainment...until last call I guess.

 Last night at the Eagle was so surreal. I did a rock show with my exwife and she got to meet my work bestie Seala. We did our nightclub act. We were the middle band and our set was all about being divorced. We love doing what we do best...slay audiences. Olive overheard one of the crowd saying "That was amazing, they are great, very entertaining but now I need a nap. That made me tired." LOL I'm guessing thats because normally when a band is playing there are moments when you can talk to a friend or eat or whatever. When the clowns are on everyone shuts up and pays attention because stuff moves fast and it's all designed to retain audience attention. Earlier we had band practice but spent half the time talking about our romances.Later my new girlie friend showed up bringing me some food and that added to the surrealism. I'm seeing lots of people show up from here on Facebook, People who read my page. Thanks for comming. I keep hearing "Go to the Eagle Eye, Dingo Dizmal is working the door." I sometimes remind people "I'm not the entertainment, KJ Dan is." I been giving my own friends money to tip the KJ when I don't see them doing it. A street person gifted me some beer. I don't drink beer and outside alcohol is contraband where I work so I took the 6pack down road. I chase street folks away on the regs but I'm very kind and non judgmental. I appreciate the gift. It seems like Sunday night is turning into Spanish language karaoke night. The last several Sundays have been a Spanish lesson. I translate for the KJ even though I don't speak Spanish. Saterday night was really cool because there were lots of black folks. They were watching "Dirty Ethan" a fellow Texican mixie like myself slaying the song "Bandz a make her dance" with his stunt African American Katie. They do the song all the time. I knew what was comming. Dirty E raps powerfully while Kate twerks until an N word comes up and Kate triumphantly yells it. Those tables full of people lost it. They were beside themselves. I love that they got so much enjoyment out of Ethan and Kates bi racial co-operation. I like Sunday nights because I have time to connect with the security guy across the street and update my coworkers on security stuff. At last call I put my ID scanner device away and pulled out my guitar. I played the song Deloris for the last 10 patrons. The looks on thier faces was hysterical because they never see me perform anything.

Hocus Pocus

 I got flowiz from JEM. One of my favorite people from the Essential Elements days on Hawthorn JEM was in town. Jem and a bunch of friends were at Eagle when I got there.

JEM gave me flowers. Sprout was there too being an amazing human cartoon. I shared many a stage with Sprout. She is legit. She sells every song full throttle. AJ said "Wow Dingo, I love that table of Hocus Pocus you have there. They all love you" I was about to say "Wait a minit Bub, Who you callin Hocus Pocus. Then it dawned on me. All 5 of them were witches.

How did they know eachother? Beltaine.

I'm on the job though. I won't let these charmers distract me from my appointed sentry duty. I went outside. Ashtrays empty, no bandits and two guys talking. "Excuse me Gentlemen." They know who I am. "Fellows, do you feel secure?"

LOL Asking them that, made them instantly apprehensive. "Why Dingo?" I said. "Because I'm security this evening and i want to make sure yall secure. Do you need a footrub, a pay raise, a soulmate, an umbrella, wanna tell me your feels and have me reflect them? Need a blanket?" They assured me they were secure.

I went back in.

Earlier in the night I had got some sad news from my North Star (vaguebooking) so it was a delight to have good friends around.

It was also fortunate that the scariest people in the room actually respected what I asked them to do. I was lowkey expecting to get my bell rung asking all 4 of them for ID even if they are only there for the ATM.

The shift went smooth as a sneaker full o puppy poo.

At the end of the night a cute witchy girl offered me some smootches. I'm not getting paid to makeout so I counted it out like a shot "1 1000, 2 1000, 3 1000. Delightful Mon Amour, See ya later ok?" It's a wonderful perk of the job but I have to treat it with respect. It's an unfair playing field. I'm sober. I call it a "snapshot romance" and leave it alone. If anyone calls me the next day then thats a different conversation. When they are toxed, I'm hands off.

LOL It was a foggy ride home on that electric bike but i was already discombobulated by Necky McNeckerson kissing me up like that

. I'm calli'n this nite a win. bessos Y Flor

earsplit doorman

 Crazy things I overheard while cleaning ashtrays. B.t.w emptying the ashtrays is critical with this job. Housless folks patrol the area and if too many cigs build up they invade the space. I feel for them but I can't have them anywhere around the punters. I keep the ashtrays clean as possible to avoid "unpleasantness" In those times i get to hear Portland talking. 

Convo at (outside) table 1 :"After midnight roommates arent required to speak to one another while passing in the common spaces." I dropped in on some roomies having a drink and a quick house meeting. Makes sense. You shouldn;'t have to talk to someone when you are half asleep. That a solid plan. 

Speaking of slumber, folks at a table 2 were discussing the last nights orgy and questioning an occurance "I fell asleep at the end and then woke up to someone "visiting" me in a gentle but very sexual way. Is that sexual assault?" Since it was why the person was there and also a pleasurable moment it passed the test.

Table 3 "I collect antiques and as a result my house is getting destroyed by moths and a plumbing problem that happened during that last cold weather disaster last January." Pipes broke, flooded the ground raising the humidity of the house, Antiques erupted moths and beetles. The moisture is ripping the front of the house off and providing an inviting climate to vector pests. This guy measures his house movement like we measure a kid growing by marking thier height on a wall. He showed me his water meter movement, Its clockig water even when he isn't there. In researching his house he found an artice from 1960 about the former owners of his house playing "Russian Roulette" resulting in a man shooting himself. He said he always felt someone lost thier leves in his house.

Table 4. Hugged me. They were upset about my divorce. They asked me about Tavern stories you may have read. They been following my writing. "You tell stories that make us feel like we were there. Tonight we decided to just actually be there." That was music to my ears. Sometimes folks mention stuff and I ask. "How do you know that?" And they say. "You wrote about it silly." lol