A song not to sing at the company party... “Fuck her gently”. Ya may see someone do an edgy song and get inspired. Maybe it’s a co-worker but probably not. Certainly don’t sing F.H.G. if you are the boss. I saw that shitshow tonight. It happened after some guy from the other side of the room did a naughty song. It went over really well for everyone including a small company get-together near my station. So boss dude (guessing because he was the only one with a tie) decided to let his short hair down and sing that inspired, highly sexual and graphic Tenacious D tune “fuck her gently”. Bad idea. His huge smile evaporated as he noticed the looks of horror on his companions faces. They were clearly looking at one another going W.T.F? Unfortunately he was still in the middle of the song when he and I noticed his situation. He was forced to land that plane for every terrifying second. He “finished” and got paltry applause. I couldn’t watch long because I had to swivel my attention to a kid who was on my radar all night. It was his 21st. birthday and he was drinking alone. He walked out looking a little woozy. Shortly after he split a patron came up to me and said “This booth smells like puke.” I checked and sure enough he had vomited on the booth and filled a beer bottle with puke as well. After I cleaned it up I followed the trail of clues. There were two more spatz that looked like a late stage bowl of raisin bran. That guy needs some drinking buddies. When I returned, the Boss guy was again chatting and happy. Everyone seemed to have forgotten his social blunder. Good for him. Hopefully two lessons were learned. 1. To stay in check, have drinking friends when you visit a tavern and 2. if they are your co-workers, don’t sing them pornographic songs.
I'm at the Eagle Eye werkin the door. I just got blown away by a grandfatherly Philapino gentleman singing "Turn the page" He has a thick accent but still killed it. So good. The room erupted when he was done. This job is making me like songs I'm normally not into. I take pics of mostly myself because these folks never signed up for my Reality show.
The door opened and I could smell ganja burning outside. I thought “Nope.” and quickly ran outside. I waded into a crowd of young men saying in a loud stern voice “Who has weed? Were the weed? It is not allowed on the premises. Ya gotta put that out and take it down the street.” They all stopped talking and looked at me. I looked at them and where I was, fully surrounded by hard looking dudes who were clearly not impressed. There was nowhere for me to go. My mind told me “If these guys were extras in a movie the credits would read “Neighborhood toughs #1-#6.” Noted, “thanks internal monologue, now shut up.” I blurted out “Damn dudes, I hate feeling like a JR. High Assistant principal looking for weed. I wouldn’t normally care but we could lose our booze license-n-shit. I hope you know after my shift I’m gonna be burnin it down.” Thankfully the crew cracked up after a pregnant pause. They were shaking my hand and patting my back. One of them put a blunt out with his fingertips. “It was me Dawg I put it out, sorry about that.” One of the guys said “Dingo is super friendly but you never know what he got goin on. Maybe he could take us all out.” Everyone disagreed (including me) . They stuck around and had a great time and I was glad to make some friends. While going back to my post some nerd convo hit my ear from table 3 that cracked me up and gave needed distraction.
PDX Rum Raids & Pirate Plunderoke . Last night the pirate captain asked if her skeliton friend could live in the back overnight so they ...
