Thursday, January 30, 2014

We get short changed a bit much to call ourselves a success but I have been lucky in love.



 I tried to write a zine about it but it just ended up looking more like clown-erotica and not so much D.I.Y. romance guide. Off the top of my head I can posit you the good rules for the young buck in love: Don't ask her for her name, tell her yours. Be yourself, good posture,conversation, hand holding, strolling. Lay off the vid games and car talk (if you want to impress her, learn to dance or better, kiss a guy). Don't give a back rub if you just gave one to a stinky old dog. There is a difference between thoughtful research and stalking, be on the good side of that. Cover the tattoo of the nude woman impaled on a guitar (also don't get a tattoo of a nude woman impaled on a guitar). And the most important rule for the new school is (drum roll) before the date, masturbate! Religion screwed this up for many people but we can set it right. Ya gotta rub one out before the big date to be any kind of success Lil bro. You can't negotiate the 47 Paris Peace treaty if your hormones are still fighting the Battle of the Bulge. Word.
tip jar

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Sorry I forgot your birthday song.