Monday, July 30, 2007

B.C. Clettes here Last Thursday

You will be able to see through the Clown House, All the decor and detritus will be gone...
But there is still us...
And a bunch of other cool people like the B.C.Clettes!


we will be rolling into PDX on the 30th for a day of fun in town. then we'll be refreshed and ready to rock on the 31st. i will be checking to see if the sprockettes will be offering us a place to sleep, so no need to worry about that.

can you confirm if there will be a sound system? we'll have both a cd or an mp3 player. we *may* have something to play music with, but would love to have it amped up and something proper to play our tunes on.

i will send promo material in the next week or so too - poster and flyer stuff so you can paper portland with it!

thank ya thank ya!
from the bcclettes

wobbling down 24th street

Rabbit made himself a tallbike and was showing it off at the cafe, it's sweet.
He used high performance, racing components and had some help from a local bike shop.
I wasn't even awake this morning yet I was on his bike, wobbling down 24th street.
Before I jumped on he said "Don't step there or the wheel folds in half." good thing I was still groggy or I might not have jumped on at all.

My opinion:
Rabbit has build himself a vehicle that is in perfect working order.
The drive works flawlessly, the chain fits all the sprockets and it has many gears.
The steering is also dead on from the goose neck to the fork.
Those are the two places where know how makes the bike fly, without steering and drive the bike is just art (there are a few of those turds in my yard).
So Rabbit did an outstanding job dispite the fact that it is capable of going 35-40 M.P.H. and has no brakes.
Hey Ood, Biz, I found that special peice of equipment that you have a bond with.
It's in the office.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Because I'm so damn smart...

I went to the local taquoria and got myself a "Manchaca" burrito (thats Spanish for entrails and hooves I think)and while there I noticed a 6 pan full of limes.
I grabbed the little paper bag they give you and filled it.
When I got home, I pulled out the trust food possessor that I got at the Goodwill bins (I bought it by the pound so I think it cost about 2 bucks.).
I have never seen the instructions so I messed with it a long time.
Finally Caffo came in and I asked her to put the parts in order.
I dumped a whole tray of ice in there and about 50 ounces of lime water.
When I turned that thing on, water and ice shot in all directions WOW!
Turns out, you should crush the ice first, then add the lime water for a summer cooler.

Local man buys last Clown House shirt????

Yup, we sold all of them, thanks for the support yall, I think we are gonna be alright.
Offers are coming in from many points across the metro, but most are too far from all of our friends and commerce.
When one comes in close I'll snap it up.
I ordered more shirts, they will be yellow with black ink.
Thats for Bizzy's colors, she takes the best photos of us and I want to show her we love her.

Thanks so much Justa for capturing us so well on paper, I'm down to be a zombie in your movie tell me when.

Some of the last bike jousts of the Alberta Clown House

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Will Workforf Ood's blog (click)

Clown ship listing, avoiding peril at hand

I feel kind of like a kitten who has just been tossed in the air (like onto a bed) with arms and legs slayed out, concentrated expression and the task of landing while careening through time and space.
Gravity is gone only inertia andi intent steer my reeeling ship.
So I have gallons and gallons of heating fuel under the Clown House.
We baught it just in case the winter got too cold for blankets (for the kids) but never used it because it never got too cold for blankets.
We also hate turning the heat on and circulating so much dust everyone gets sick.
It's nasty to have anything to do with fossil fuels and now I have the task of selling this stuff off to anyone who needs it and can extract it from the tank.
Heating oil is expensive, this takes deisel fuel so if you are in a circus truck or traveling van, come talk to me.
The Mad Texacan is in the oil biz...yuck.

bike raffle

I had the easiest gig ever last night at the Clinton Theatre, I just did what I always do.
Tonight we will be performing at 4846 ne 13th from 7 to 10;30 we will be with Slim Chance, a ton of great music, the Hula Hogs and I will be doing the "Stunt Banjo ruteen"
Bring a camera and some dough.
I'm also raffling off this sweet trike.

Friday, July 27, 2007

see me , the Hula Hogs, Workforf, Merica and the gang


There are a pile of people in the garage, they are some filth mutha truckers.
In the last few days, I have lightened the ban on heavy drinking as a present to the crew, they had been working so hard and done so much it was the least I could do. I bet the Christian cult next door hate me for the loud racket last night. Better have the cast party in the shed than near the street where they attracted so many cops it was unreal. When they started getting loud and goofy I just bummed beers and fed them a lot.
With my little collection of beer and stolen smokes I was Mr.Bribe all night, people do funny things when addicted to chemicals, I know from expierience.
When my day was done I just pitched the tailor made smokes in the gutter and stomped them (for the kids) and shook up the beers, spraying them into the lights of passing cars while humming Motzart's requiem. Booze and smokes do nothing for the circus except make it look and smell bad.
Weed smells good, I tell you what!
before the cops shut us down at 10, we made $300 in tshirts, pins, Zines and Bike diapers.
Last month when they shut us down early, they really hit us in the income, this month we did swell.


Attic Ted is my favorite band, they are from San Marcos Texas and they may be broken up.
I think they may also have been puppets so broke up could really mean broken.
I will play it for ya if ya want, but I only have three CDs sent but long time pen pal and organ grinder Grady Roper.
You can get it from pecan records San Marcos Texas


I found a great way to time love making !
When it gets hot and ya know yer gonna “get some”, play a CD.
After the deed is done look at the track information and that will tell you if you are selfish in bed (or floor, yard, bus stop)or if your a super star.
By myself I can get through the entire Juthro Tull, Stand Up album.
I bet with some help from C.J. and Bonaroo, I could “DO” the whole Pink Floyd's The Wall Album.
That would suck because I'm a romantic when it comes to getting my twinky stinky, The Wall is a depressing commentary on the life and subsequent mental illness caused by stardom and too much of a good thing.
I think sex should have more of a German Polka sound or maybe the soundtrack made at the local primate, Zoo exhibit.
I bet you could time a shower by how long it takes for the hot to run out, I never tried it because I'm afraid of hot water anyway.
I timed my G.I. tract by eating an entire box of Lucky Charms.
When it comes out the other end it's really green so you know whats up!
I guess I should have waited between timing experiments.
Or had more gentle sex.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Pig Farmer and the clowns (or How clowns are built)

Pig Farmer came from the pig farms down south, Hog Season was over and a little bird told her the Clown House was short handed. Sounds like a cool job, but what is a muddy pig hugger to expect from clowns?

She was met at the Clown House door by a clown who looked her up and down, smiled and introduced herself as Mis.Merica.

She told Pig woman that the clowns were indeed short handed and have been for some time.
She then instructed her to follow upstairs to meet the rest of the gang.
Pig Farmer couldn't help but notice a clown lady dressed in yellow and black colored cheerleader garb following them.
She had a camera and was taking lots of photos, she later found out that was Bizzy Bawdy the circus cheerleader and human photomat.

They went up flight after flight of stairs, some made of wood, some marble, some concreate, some carpet, one a rope ladder and eventually they winded through a dark store room and into the attic where they found two more dopes, Will Workforf Ood, and Dingo Dizmal.

To "clown" with the mighty Clown House denizens, she would first have to be re-built from a Pig farmer to Shmanarchist clown. They all jumped into action... they love jumping into action.

As soon as they peeled her shirt off, the room filled with a deafening stench, they all laughed and complained so much, the barometric pressure in the room changed and all their ears pleasantly popped.Will Workforf Ood complained the most, he should have won a prize.

You could feel and smell the love in the room...and there was some near the dresser too. The dog is really good about cleaning up any love left in the room.

They have a table that crawls up the wall it's kind of a work bench for re-building. They wrote things on her butt while eating jelly and cackling like baffoons.

We didn't know Pig Farmer was a girl, she's hot!
We added the markings to her body that spell "New Guy" and "Clown Power" they told her many things about crowd control, getting in the right head space and the math of funny.

She was so darn hot, Will Workforf Ood donned a red white and blue boxing glove and punched her in the kidney.

It was overwhelming to have so many hands all over her, the clowns acted like a pit crew, stripping the old gal off and replacing it with a new color, a new stench, and new philosophy.

Ood was eating grape jelly out of the jar with a butter knife...he used it as hair grease.

Dingo had to inspect for crabs, there were none so he got her some.Then he gave her a pubie sculpt.

New clowns aren't made...well yes they are I guess.

Hey, you don't measure stuff with Teflon tape you dork!

The hair drier would have worked great if we had plugged it in.

It was a unique pleasure of life to get a real clown makeover.I think we made a friend, look at her face.

If you don't powder, the stuff smears, I good powder job should be strong enough for a clown to get pied in the face, wipe it off and still be painted.
We used marshmallow paste and some ajax so it shouldn't matter on her.

Nobody added any color to her face, I guess it's the Ajax reacting to her skin.

aND nOW INTRODUCING .....The Hula Hog!!!!!Next biggest thing on the planet!

She ended up SLAYING the crowds within hours of becoming  a clown.
We are all proud of her.
Like what we do? Donation bucket!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

absoulute music

I just got my mind blown and It wasn't expected.
Sometimes I need a pocket full of lit fireworks to get me motivated, I'm jaded to say the least.
I re-found absoulute music interpreted in pictures.
I picked up a battered copy of Fantasia (1940) that had been
sitting out in the rain for weeks during a garage sale gone bad episode.
I threw it in and I'm glad I was sitting down because I would have fell down.
Toccata and Fugue in D Minor poured out of my office telivision.
Chills ran down my spine like only the color of music can induce.
I couldn't believe that someone made such a film.
I can't believe J.S. Bach wrote the score, that's time travel.
Every note of Toccata and Fugue in D Minor I can reacall at will, since childhood, this and about ten others have been my pass out of reality.
I would hate to be guilty of pimping Disney crap, i hear they only want your money, but sheesh a garage sale??? Get the tape for a quarter and hear the Nut cracker.
It's interesting to see some characatures in this movie that today would be considered racist, it's funny to me.
I want to tell you more but I'm overwhelmed, I think I'm gonna take this few moments between having to do productive stuff to close my eyes and watch this movie.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Geek Fair is Today! (Click here)

This is us last year.
I found this photo by Lyla Emeryreno of us blowing chunks.
This year we are on the main stage to close the show at 5 40 after Kazum.

Friday, July 20, 2007

The boy is fine

My recently dog bitten, naked, potty diving 1 year old in better than ever.
He just took a huge dump on the floor in front of me and ran out the back door after stealing a bathroom brush.
I think he's fine.
The little girl is good too but has the summer time boredom.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

8 songs

Friends came over that I never met.
Some friends came over and made my whole day go better.
They are from Sacrimento Ca. and they weld.
All night there was rain, fire, sparks, rock n roll, a sun set
great creations and love.
I walked through the scene of ten folks in the yard, some hammering, others welding,
the rain mixed with my camp fire, plus sunset and welding sparks made for a classic Clown House summer's evening.
It would also have made a good Mordor Evening.
The metal particles and dust kicked up from bikes and children hung in the air and gave a smell all it's own. We flew in and out like winged monkeys testing bikes and trailors.
we had messed all our stuff up at the last few gigs so it was divine magic for a welder to drop by and fix the bikes.
If you need welding done, they need some dough to get home, better be quick about it.
One of the fellas broke out three banjos, our other guy had a banjo too, Dave from downstaire had one outa and I had mine too.
Thats six banjos and one of the guys had a bottle of wiskey!
I didn't drink any but I did have fun watching 4 travelers and a clown getting drunk and playing 8 songs at a time.

Dog bite.

A fella came to my yard name dropping “Atomic Zombie”, the Dude from Thunder bay who makes great freak bikes and even published a book.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him camp the garage for the night.
What a mistake, I came to find out that he was actually the only person he was aware of, this red flag cued me in to watch him.
He talked constantly without ever listening, that's annoying but not a crime.
His dog growled at my boy, that only needs to happen once for me to have enough, I told him to clear out.
Three hours later I find out that he still was flapping his jaw about how swell he is and his dog bit my boy.
I was HOT let me tell ya, I started kicking things and being scary, I didn't know what to do.
I didn't want to look at the guy, I wanted him to leave for his own safety. My instinct told me to bite his head off and wear his dogs pelt as a shirt but better judgment had me dealing with the boy and he high tailed it out of town I guess.
It's tough helping people, I wish I was selfish like some of my friends, well actually I don't much care for my more selfish friends.
The boy is ok now and his bite was small , Caff is watching it.
I was really mad because i TOLD THE GUY TO SPLIT, i ENDED UP BURNING MY DOG TREATS AND i HAD TO DO A TV INTERVIEW ABOUT BIKES WITH A CRYING CHILD, HALF A face of make up and the huge distraction of almost blinding anger.
Now the kid is fine, he's interested in other dangers and foolery and the swelling is gone.
This all happenned at a magical time in the house, see, we had some friends come over and the whole day went for the better.


I asked Will Workforf Ood to escort me to the Nest on Alberta.
They had some Med. size Clown House shirts and we were out.
I needed him to go with me because my bike light was missing.
I wanted him to ride in front of me with his lights on.
It's a sizable ticket that I can't afford so I'm looking out.
Workforf was happy to go and I was happy to take a ride with
such a silly fool.
I rode for a bit before noticing his light was pointed
at his chest instead of the road.
He was essentualy a Will Workforf Ood comercial, tooling
down Alberta street at dusk and smiling like a baboon.
Thats what it's like knowing folks like this.
I'm just glad we don't do any pistol acts this year.

Fun of moving out

I'm no sucker friends, I have been moving out slowly and kindly.
Instead of moving lots of stuff, I'm opting to burn the clean
stuff in the yard around campfire or more often Garage sale the stuff.
I'm also dumpstering most of my gear and clothing.
Trust me, by the time I throw clothing away, it's usless.
I got all this out of free boxes and dumpsters anyway.
It's been fun doing laundry because I don't have to do laundry,
I just deep six the whole mess and be done with it.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Don't cry for me Alberta

I have plenty of rock star fun, people keep coming up to me with sad faces about us leaving but in reality we will be doing great wherever we go.


Trade up music
The Nest
The Tin Shed

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

lesson learned...

If your half blind, then don't have a dog the same color as the'll kick the crap out of it, I noticed this happen to an old fella and told Workforf to write it down...he didn't.
I have been de-constructing my sleeping quarters and getting a grin as I discover other people's laundry long since lost and forgotten.
If you bake a phone book, it's much easier to rip it in half.
Practiced a little stand up comedy today, Caffeine laughed so hard she choked on her burrito and almost died! was cool.
today's music: Steely Dan, Jethro Tull and our crap.
Clown House dinner tonight:corn tortillas warmed on the electric stove, dipped in refried beans and white rice.
Yesterday I spent $7 on grapes and devoured them all before I got home.
As I wizzed down Alberta Street I could hear people thinking I was doing a stunt
"Lokk the guy's eating grapes on a tall bike!"

Monday, July 16, 2007

exicuting the "bike wash" stunt

He jumps from his tall bike to the back of mine, then he pulls a scrubber from my frame and washes his bike. I hold it all together until he jumps back on his own bike and drives away.

still no house found, but looking

We saw a place that we could afford, it was in the nose bleed section of town.
The street is so big, cars don't stop, they just barrel by and into chain, box stores.
Looking around out there was nausiating.
The closest thing to this house that I found was twice the rent here.
Meanwhile, we got gigs coming up and a political event in Astoria, the dood in the basement has created a kite that powers a bike that generates electricity.
The shirts are here and selling out quick.
Looks like were gonna have money and people, we just need a building.

Sunday, July 15, 2007


Well thats over, two all ages shows this weekend.
First was the big Tri Met to do, it was crazy.
First we had to drive because the gig was really far away.
We commisioned three cars and piled bikes on them.
Portland got a huge kick out of seeing three car loads of clowns barreling across town playing trumpets and banjo.
We got there just as a guy was wrapping up his speech under a big tent.
They had burritos and drinks being served at some tables, everyone had just done a huge bike ride and they were all haggard looking.
I got on my bike and could tell they were exited to see us approaching.
We had quite a few more people than we needed (some work hard, some have fun, we needed the hard workers) so the dough got stretched a bit more than I would have liked but we did have some fun.
One guy who really showed brightly was Slim Chance from Circus Mutate, he is a master and every year I look forward to working with him.
We did the gig, this time Bizzy Bawdy took the “collateral damage” role by being the one who takes all the punishment.
I threw a chain during the Joust but Slim took over well by jousting with his unicycle.
He gave me a patch with a unicycle on it and the words “One Less Bike” on it.
Now, a very cute young lady had come by and made a deal with me to store her van here at the Clown House for the weekend, it's $30 off our bills.
Turns out I had my friend park a van in my driveway as tweaker repellent so I couldn't get her van on my property.
I ended up spending the whole weekend so far driving the damn thing around to different parking spots just so it won't get ticketed for it's expired tags.
OK so I spent the last many many years avoiding riding in cars and now I've spent hours in them and even drove a lot.
It was fun but the guilt is amazing, I hate having a carbon footprint thats uglier than my biggest wart.
Next day was the Mississippi street fair and parade.
Caffeine and I are always up early regardless of when we go to bed because of the kids.
We got on bikes and the few of us who could rode down there.
I really wish they would have asked us to work out the parade, we do this a lot and what they had was clearly a cluster-fluck for sure.
The parade didn't have anyone up front with a bull horn so the parade was basically a slow moving mob of strollers and screaming brats (at least a block worth) and some bikes, running into a bunch of A-holes.
A lady at one point blocked Chlorine as she paraded past and screamed at her “You got a lot of nerve coming to this hood!”and blamed her for the gentrification on Mississippi ave.
It was hard to work so hard for such awful people and not get any credit, it's ok, new folks, and some old friends were there, they rocked, and for the most part we had a good time as long as we avoided the entire south side of Mississippi ave.
We made quite a few friends for the Circus Works building and I think thats gonna be big when it comes up.
Now I'm gonna continue my search for new digs.

notes, here is a poem I childishly wrote along with one of our set lists

Whomever you are,
Whatever you think,
Don't drive a car so
the planet won't stink.
Don't pay the oil man,
who cuts the trees
because your death,
is his industry,

The life you save,
May be your own,
strong is your body,
sleek, trim and toned,
If you roll,
If You trod,
they can't deny,
Your bitchin bod,

Firehouse :




Back painting

Food fest

Chair escape

Stunt banjo

Thursday, July 12, 2007


Oh toast!
I just had one of those rollercoaster rides where I have a day full of rockstar fun and then the next day sucks eggs.
It thankfully wasn't “getting it on” that broke my stride or the bike wreck that though freaky, didn't result in injury.
I had too much ice cream and sweets, so the next day GALL ATTACK!
I couldn't stay still, couldn't move, I just spent hours going between bed, other bed, hot shower, yard.
I was miserable, the sun was beating down on me this morning and i was freezing cold.
My youngest kid didn't care about my problem, he cried as he always does when he wants us to know how bored he is, lucky for me it was just the horror show I needed to inspire puking, when it came it was a real buster, my nose felt like a potato cannon.
Soon Caff offered a pill, I never liked pills or powder drugs of any kind but I was falling apart.
Before I took the pill (some over the counter concoction), she held my hand in a deliberate way and soon my gullet pain subsided.
“You witchy harpy!” i said, “what voodoo is this?”
“Pressure point that regulates the stomach.”
To that, The bike problems i had felt like nothing,
we have a gig this Friday night for Trimet in Clackamass,
I wanted to be sharp for the gig because it's a high flying type clown gig so I was practicing a lot.
Well, I went to turn around so I could once again attempt a difficult maneuver and suddenly had half my handlebar in my hand.
The handlebars broke in half and I was 8 feet in the air and moving fast.
The thing to do in situations such as this is to stay calm.
I reached down and grabbed the dangling end on the handlebar that has my back break and slowly deployed it, I was close to home.
I count that as a good thing, better then than on show day.
I do preflight checks nowadays, I think my rig is fit for trips.
One thing that will muss up a guy on a tall suprize, we hate suprizes when we are fast movin.
I have a new diet because of the whole Gall thing, it's real and I know it.
Caffeine is so rad, she knows so much about the body and she loves me so I'm on the way to better health.
I'm the only one here that eats crap so all the right food is already leying around.
At about 5 pm I came out of the sickness, I brought the radio, amp and guitar out into the yard, played lots of songs and hung out with my 9 year old.
I just got back from nice ride on my tall bike with someone I'm crazy about, ate good and for a sick day, I'm doing pretty damn well.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I made a boo boo

A birdie in an orange vest told me that more than half the money raised to pay for tshirt printing came from people who didn't like us.
The fact is, all the dough was donated by people who REALLY like us, now I know the details.
Office on Alberta has often donated gifts to our events, they gave us some money, the mighty TIN SHED, always helpful, encouraging and generous donated, the Nest donated $50 bucks and when I went in with our guy to pick up the check,he boosted it up to $75
I knew about those, I'm still unclear on the rest but I know they all were in the right spirit and I'm told they all are just thanking us for the good times and
sending us off right.
I plan to thank them all personally but right now is the most stressful time, I have GOT to land this ship before the "Whitening" takes us all.
As we take the scattered spare tree limbs, fence wood and other unpainted wood stuff and burn it, I see more of our world going up in smoke.
The work happening in the yard is undoing years of fun and action, slowly it becomes less crowded.
Earlier today I saw a house with tall grass, a wood fence, stuff in the yard and people inside, the place looked lived in.
Next door was another one and another, one had a screen door hanging by only one hinge.
I was filled with electricity and exitement at the thought.
See, I know none of those houses are for rent, it's just good to see that there are whole neighborhoods full of real people.
I can't wait to live near other folks who use clotheslines and who have rotting toys in the yards.

Monday, July 09, 2007

I like bud (click)

Did Bud Clark, well wish the Clown House?
It would make sense, I hear he is a great guy.
I just went up to the office to enjoy it while it still smells of weed, sex and feet.
The room also smells of mouse urine, forgotten underwear and human stress pheromones but only the dog cares about those smells.
Slow but sure "The Whitening" is coming and I'm enjoying my domain before it is gone forever. Soon the walls will be a clean white, the floors will be scrubbed and it will no longer be the control center of the Clown House.
I walked in and on a table, I found a laminated poster wrapped with a rubber band.
I opened it and was delighted to see ex Portland Mayor and all around cool guy Bud Clark doing his "Expose yourself to art" poster.
In pen is written
"To Home Survival
Bud Clark
on the job"
I wish I was here when it came because all it did was make more questions.
I sure am a fan though and that poster is going in the next Clown House and everyone after that I tell you what.
Thanks Bud!


If you have seen us lately you would know we are having a big sidewalk sale.
I found the best "Ritalin" is pure greed for my darlin daughter.
As soon as she made a few bucks selling her toys, she was sold on the idea of selling.
I didn't have to ask her to sit still, she was happy to wait for victims who fall prey to a cute kid selling crap.
She made a little pile of cash, I made a few big piles of cash and I even had time to teach her some griffting, since you read my blog I will warn you to count your change when you come here and always watch her hands, and whatever you do,don't give her change for no reason if she asks.
When we spotted someone coming we would shoot looks at each other deciding if they are a "Mark" a "Pidgion" or a "flake", the dog is always the "Patsy" we had a great father daughter bonding experience.
I made great money legit, but that's only because I'm selling off all my possessions, I like them way more in money form...that is until all the money goes to bills.
I guess I got griffted.

come get some chicken art!

This Friday we got a bike circus gig

Captain Ace is gone but his act remains here, who do you think should ride the Triplane bike?
We have a bike circus gig this Friday Night! 7:30, it's the Trimet event, pretty cool.
I decided it would save a lot of time dealing with meetings and safty personel if we just struck the idea of any fire or explosions.
We had planned the finale to be the ramp of death, they got wind and started asking questions.
They had been quite concerened so I jusy said,"ok no fire" they even wanted to know what lind of confetti we use, they were really on it.
So this gig will still be funny and exiting but not so firey or explody.
Go to for details on the event.

ramp of death


Sure is White In Here.

The Whitening is happening, not like tooth paste...well just like tooth paste, actually. Each day another part of the house is stripped, spackled, painted and left clean. The white wash is spreading like white ink over our little comic book house, if it wasn't me and my people doing it, I would think we were next.
Years of papers and decorations are gone, and trash is a problem. We need a dumpster.
We may get one. Our yard sale netted $200, and we will be on it every weekend until all our stuff is gone.
It's gonna be moving with back packs and bike trailers, just like we moved in, so the furniture is gonna have to go.
It's fun to get rid of all your stuff sometimes, like the space created by a fallen tree for new ones to grow. ditching all your stuff once in a while provides needed room,
Room for more stuff, that is.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

amazing days

My life recently is a roller coaster, both emotional and mental.
I wish I could say this is new but it is all I know and have known.
It's not easy to do what I do, but sometimes it's so worth it,
other times I want to shoot myself with a rubber pistola.
On the 5th I spent the whole of it, hardly leaving my office.
Bona Roo was still here from the night before so I was lucky enough to
enjoy her and Merica over and over agian, stopping only to
change the music and to wipe the burning sweat from my eyes.
The only work I did was painting a commision piece (I'm half done with it, looks great).
I cooled off by riding my tall bike and chasing my children up trees.
In all accounts it was Dingo paradise, I felt blessed.
I thanked my version of God for the healthy family, great crew and of course a big thanks for giving me that kind of stamina.
Then the next day, I wake up to screaming kids, The landlord (nice guy but still stress)
problems with other shows, dealing with our crew and a crappy article about me in the Mercury,
all under the stress of the looming Gentri-vacation we are all about to take.
I was doing damage control with My tshirt contact (Micheal) and Caffeine while holding a wiggling, hollering, bored, baby and wondered aloud "What Happened?"
I do way more work than fun, it's like being on the clock all the time, I'm looking
forward to getting to where we are going so I can have at least as many fun days as crum days.

G.R.A.S.S. Generally Ridable And Somewhat Safe

Thats what I callour bikes that work,Grass Bikes, they are safe to ride as opposed to the other stuff that is too dangerous, we give the nasty stuff to the drunk jocks to kill themselves on.
Speaking of grass, I just saw the biggest, stankyest, single person driven lawnmower I have ever seen in my life.
It's honkin huge!
I'm looking out the window on the morning of a home gig.
The dude showed up in a giant truck (empty) and a giant trailer (almost empty) and he took that big nasty thing down, cranked it on and let it be loud and stinky for 10 min.
Satisfied that he had helped me lose the desire to include humans in my whole “Save the World” plan, he re-loaded it and drove off.
What a chump, he just pulled up, added some poison and noise to the air and left, I wanna chase him down. I feel sorry for him being raised so poorly in that regard (me too), he has his job and I bet he has some nice stuff, maybe some offspring and an ex he still gets along with.
The big picture is that our death is part of his industry (it's all connected)
It must sound silly to the normal Ugly American but when I see a lawn mower, a grassy lawn, a person mowing a lawn and especially someone insisting I have a lawn, or take care of one, I see red.
A pointless crop and poison to groom it just fills me with rage.
Am I just mad at something else but blaming the seemingly harmless grass?
No,I'm mad at something else AND I hate grass.
I have a healthy sense of outrage about a lot of things, logging trucks, fish farms, Mormons, corrupt government, clear cut forests, schools teaching crap, pill pushers and health care crooks, thats just off the top of my head.
My parents got Newsweek when I was a real little, I could read pretty good then so I got it.
I remember being in third grade or so and being upset that the Prime Minister of Egypt was assassinated so close to Carters peace accord. being finalized.
I want to fix it all, I want to dry tears and restore clean air, water and sky but I still must ask...why.
Why do I care?
We seem to be a natural conclusion to this run of life on the planet, we have been here only a flash in a pan as far as our little class M planet is concerned.
The earth used to look like we had just blown it up, nature will survive and do better for it as after the Devonian era.
So why save the Earth?
For the dogs, frogs, children and all other karma free entities who depend on people like me to notice.
I can't save my own little hunk of the planet with a bunch of anger hear gotta stay calm and see clear.
One way I keep a cool head is to notice those standing with me and protect them, I also try and find punch lines for things that horrify me.
If you mow your lawn or care about it, don't think I'm gonna judge you, I'm an idiot too.
I used to keep crab lice as pets, how about crab grass?

Friday, July 06, 2007


Well I got flaked on for the big fireworks photo shoot, I half expected it.
We had a yard full of people but none of them were the ones I needed, except of course Merica the clown (Caffeine) and super wonderful Bona Roo.
We had more than plenty of fun.
Photos by Bizzy Bawdy,It was Merica's birthday and boy did she get a present to unwrap!

Bona Roo getting ready for a tall bike ride.

I like doing controlled, Spinning out of controls.

Merica and Bona Roo

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

The Portland Mercury

Laurie from the Portland Mercury called the house yesterday asking if she can take some photos of us for the next issue.
She said she didn't know what they wanted so she would have to get back to me.
She called back and said that her editor just wanted some shots of fun being had.
Lucky for all of us we were already having fun.
I told her that we don't work for free and she would need to bring tribute if she wants any shots of us.
She delivered!

She brought us matches, old calenders, a sticker, two beers (i don't drink but i do bribe) and four oven mitts!
I'm sold!
As some of you know, our show has found the plague of romance that has rendered some of our people useless if not obsolete.
When it came time for the shoot, none of my people were per paired and Caff had a screaming baby to contend with.
As it happened the yard had attracted a few attractive ladies who were hanging out being attractive.
I asked them to join me by rolling around on stupid bikes while I played a song called "Corn Nut Breath."
It was so lovely, doing the shot with them and then eventually doing some tricks with Banjo Dog and Caffeine Jones.
I asked the ladies if they would come back on the fourth so I can paint cave drawings on their butts. Romance don't have to ruin your career, it can punctuate it.
They more than accepted my indecent proposal, Caff is pretty amused and I think I can count on Bizzy Bawdy to take the still photos.
She took the pics above and a lot of the ones on this site.

My favorite part about the shwag the Portland Mercury sent us is the oven mitts, boy did it suck making out Dawg Snax wheat free dog treats without mitts, it's been two years!!!!

Monday, July 02, 2007

I just lifted the lid off a pot on the kitchen counter and was befunked on the floor.
That stuff STUNK!
We are cleaning out the Clown House to give it back to the guy who owned it and finding old skeletons in closets.
To tell the truth I didn't know if I should toss it or what.
Y'see there are people from other countries (Like Brazil or Chicago)and what I consider a festering pot of bacteria and plague in their country may be a delicacy.
I left it and soon Caff picked it up and moved the lid, she ate some so I guess she is just into foreign food.
I have been taking down all the artwork from the walls and cleaning them, it's fun to peel back layers of fun the house has seen.
Last night I was hanging out with a photographer and a reporter, at one point the reporter and I went on the roof and looked at the skyline of Alberta Street, I'm gonna miss this place.
Hey! Any of yous guys have an extra paint roller or two?