Monday, July 17, 2006

Da Sto'

I went to the grocery store as part of my "day off" ritual.
I usually tend to do lots of laundry but today Caffo got it and I didn't get to wash diapers after all.
She is already working on potty training the little one.
So I got to the store on my tall bike and ginormus trailor stopping only to peek my head into the door at work. Colter was cooking and he bellowed "Are you here to work or just look pretty?"
I told him that I was indeed there to look pretty, I grabbed a large cardboard box and crossed the street to the store.

I wore my pith helmet, breeches and tall black boots to promote Dawg Snax our dog treat company I like to have a uniform.
When I go shopping at "yuppy seasons" in summer, I wear dark glasses because it's halter top weather and I don't want to creep anyone out.
I walked around the corner in time to hear this "mouth breathing" store emplyee stammering at a pretty young lady. He thought he would be very clever and tell her she "looked like someone from Josie and the Pussy Cats" but at the last min he balked and acidentally just said " you look like the girl from Josey's".
I went into the produce section, even with food stamps I can't really afford too much of the produce there, it's a yuppy store so I got some grapes I like to spend the "foodies" or "Grub Stubs"in places like oriental markets and other bulk places
I noticed that a woman and her two elementery school aged boys were shopping so I made my way to them knowing full well that I would have a show on my day off watching the two misbehave.
I don't know the boys but I was 10 at one time and I knew that any second a fight would break out.
As I rushed to intercept the two rug rats for the show a guy whished by me really fast, I compensated for his trajectory and we navigated perfectlly, unlike the other shoppers around him who were not as all buissness as he or I.
It was an old man YEAH!
I hope I'm that good at that age.
The two boys didn;t dissapoint, one wanted to drive the cart and the other wasn't having that at all.
They made the noise that sounds like wild animals fighting for survival in the bush and mom just wanted to talk on the phone.


jv said...

if you are all "yuppie seasons" about new seasons, why dont you shop at the co-op? its about the same distance from the clown haus, no?

D the C said...

Yes, it's not about distance it's about money (food stamps) I know that the only way to bring down the price of organic food is to buy a lot of it.
That said, I dumped my food stamp card down to nothing shopping there
and thats WITH our member discount.
I found a way though, I send as many people to the Co-op as I can, we sell our dog treats there and anytime they need us I am there, but I can,t afford the co-op on a regular basis with all the dependants I have sucking on me.
Plus I want Co Co puffs.
For produce on a budget go to bIG cITY PRODUCE ON aLBINA,
To refill your dish soap bottle and get some pasta go co-op, when you need a bunch of stuff and have money to blow, go New Seasons (The employees often come into my bar so the extra money I spent there comes back to me in the form of a tip.
If you have little money, no time and you are so beat you are the walking dead I just go without, works fer me.
BUT! "I have a get out of poverty card"...yup, my banjo.
Anytime I need money for anything I am well trained to go into the world with a banjo and come back with money.
Banjo busking wasn't work when it baught beer, now that it buys consumer crap like laundry soap and heating oil, it's no fun at all.