Y'know how, when you are really dirty and you take a shower, how the water running off of you is tinted black with all the filthy, dusty, grimey,oily,sooty junk that you've been rolling in all day?
Well I just had that happen to me while brushing my teeth.
Don't worry, I brushed my teeth with mouthwash.
I hope that's punk rock enough for me to call myself an anarchist!
Once, on tour in Iowa, I went to brush my teeth, but I didn't read the tube, and I used spermicidal jelly. It was awful. I almost died. But I tell ya what: my teeth had that Nonoxinol 9 shine for weeks, and they never once got pregnant.
You would think I would have learned my lesson, but sadly I still had another mistake to make.
You see, I had blisteringly bad foot rot. I thought I had found some foot ointment, but it turned out that the cream I was rubbing into my open sores was capsicum: back pain cream made from the active ingredient in pepper spray.
I did die, that time. Then the awful pain brought my body back to life, so I tried to kill myself.
The moral of the story is:If you read the lable, you still wont end up with pregnant teeth.
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