teachin the kid to make a tat gun

 My son loves mechanical engineering. He walked by with this tape recorder and I decided to share some info that's not in the textbooks. This is from the Road dog tomb of carny punk fun. "Wanna know how to make a tattoo gun kid?" I wasn't worried he would make one. My kid's rebellion takes the form of rule following...right in front of my face. My dood is a do-gooder but i love him anyway. The construction principals would be his take-away. A tat gun works the way old school locomotive wheels work. I'm not gonna tell you, but I told him how to build a tat-pen. Then I showed him on my arm how I tatted myself to dial-in past ones. Some of my tats are shredded and some have really nice lines. He soaked it up smiling. "Didja lean anything my Boy?" He handed me the tape recorder. "I learned why your tattoos look like a detention hall desk."

Last week we were riding tallbikes with our 14 Y.O. son.

Last week we were riding tallbikes with our 14 Y.O. son. He got to see something unusual. He grew up on my tallbike but only recently started bike riding long distance with us on his own tallbike. For the most part he had to get used to folks cheering at us a lot. Well on this evening my bike light fell off the handlebars. 
I blame the butterfingers who installed it (myself). Our kid pulled over to pick it up for me but had to wait for a passing car. To his horror the car deliberately swerved a tire to the center of the road and atomized my light. 
Then it sped off leaving my light shattered into a million pieces . He was freaked out. "Dad that car went out of it's way to kill your light. What are you gonna do?"  
I was smiling the whole time. "I'm gonna do what I always do." and I pulled out an identical light with a sturdier strap, attached it without dismounting and clicked it on "Always plan for assholes son." 
He just rode for a while silently smiling.

melon

My boy was impressed I got this melon home on my tallbike without tying it down. That wouldda sucked if it fell off." he said. 

I disagreed. That course of events would not suck for me. I would be delightfully entertained unlike he and Olive who would be the pins in that bowling alley. 
I wasn't worried. Olive moves like a cat on her tallbike and he can use the tallbike training anyhow.My boy has gotten really good with the big bike this Summer.
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math vs. science

I told my son that he had a choice. We could do math flash cards OR

I could give him a lecture and demonstration (with graphics) of everything that clinically went down when I got a vasectomy plus a follow up and guesstimated mileage so far.

To my surprise the boy insisted on doing the math.

I thought young dudes liked lots of penis drawings. 

Interesting.

Parent fail(on my part) .

Planned Parenthood gave me a huge bag of safe sex kits to hand out to folks. I didn't inspect them too much, I been handing out condoms and such since the 90's.

I thought I would use the opportunity to give my boy a condom lesson. I opened a kit, tossed a packet at him and told him to open it, I opened my condom, demonstrated pinching the tip and unrolling it over my hand.

He was having trouble opening the thing. He seemed to be fumbling, stalling and making it harder than it was, unable to open the packet.

I was mortified imagining him doing the same thing, the same way on his prom night. I griped at him to get it together.

Soon he was perplexed and helpless as goo was dripping down his hands.

I asked for it back and realized what a jackass I was.

I told him to open up a condom but what I handed him was lube. I nenox9ed him.

"Class dismissed!"

Hey there friends. Do ya like what we do? If you are in a place to let go some flow, here is where folks donate to the clowns to keep the rubber side down and the smiling side up. Who knows, maybe we will even inscribe donor's names on our bikes. :)

http://oliveanddingo.com/donate/